Jesus preached, healed the sick and even taught Chinese cooking from his boat on the Sea of Galilee.
Huge crowds gathered to see him wok on water.
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︎ Oct 16 2022
BREAKING: Russia has struck its own submarine with an underwater torpedo in the black sea, killing all 350 on board.
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︎ May 17 2022
A certain species of sea turtle was on the brink of extinction.
One sea turtle helped salvage his entire species by fathering over 300 kin. Afterwards, a young turtle approached him and asked, "Dad?"
He responded, "Probably."
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︎ Aug 08 2022
Scientists are studying the effect of cannabis on sea birds.
Theyβve left no tern unstoned
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︎ Mar 15 2022
Why do mermaids wear sea shells on their chest?
Because A and B shells donβt fit.
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︎ Dec 26 2021
3 fish walking on the sea floor
- fish 1 turns to a nearby restaurant and asks: shell we eat here?
fish 3 says: is it even good tho?
fish 1 then says: yeah its good, ive haddock with fish 2 before its a very good plaice.
fish 2 says: yeah that plaice is good, when i first took a bite of the food, i let out a huge, oh my cod!
fish 3 says: i trout that tho it seems kinda fishy, arowana eat at this restaurant. halibut that one? i had it with a large grouper before. ive even met the gill of my breams before!
fish 1 says: oh sure! i dont mind.
fish 3 says: there is a caviar tho, its very expensive and of-fish-al.
fish 2 says: oh for heavens hake! you know we dont have the money for that.
fish 3 says: nah im ballin, i could perch-ace the whole store!
fish 2 says: in my breams you cod, you take me for a school?! you are bass-lighting me.
fish 3 says: no, im not bass-lighting you. ive been surfing on this nft hype recently and have made river-bank! keep it as a sea-cret tho.
fish 2 says: oh, thats surf-prising. how much money have you made?
fish 3 says: mmm, about a gillion so far. its difficult to start tho, i had to shell all my craw-perty to a shellfish clam at the prawn-shop! but, i took my oppor-tuna-ty and made profit.
fish 1 says: ughh are you done coral-ling? im starving here!
fish 2 says: actually, do yall sea the curved metal thing up there? The food on it look delicious, let's crab it.
- they all agreed unanimously, but little did they know, a wrasse-ful fisherman was up there,
waiting for his next meal.
- fin
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︎ Dec 13 2021
You know those two markers outside the harbour, which sell domestic animals to accompany you on your sea-faring voyage?
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︎ Jan 30 2022
I've got two sons, both named after where they were born: one on a riverboat in Europe, and another on the sea.
So I named them Ryan and Brian.
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︎ Nov 15 2021
Have you seen the news about the rare Stellarβs Sea Eagle that has been discovered living on Maineβs coast?
Itβs amazing that so many people are so excited about a Seagle.
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︎ Jan 19 2022
guys i am officially on the sea food diet
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︎ Sep 29 2021
Why did Jesus sail in the storm on the Sea of Galilee?
It's not like he was a huge fan of the fairer seas.
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︎ Jun 17 2021
Breaking news: a cruise ship collided this morning with a barge on a tour of the Mediterranean Sea carrying the worlds largest caramel custard dessert.
Eyewitness reports state that the ship hit the flan.
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︎ Aug 17 2021
What do you call it when you catch a fish on every cast while deep sea fishing?
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︎ Jan 09 2021
How would you describe Jesus walking on the sea?
It was a floorless stroll.
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︎ Mar 31 2021
My mother is on a sea food diet. . .
She seas food and she eats it.
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︎ Jan 13 2020
When we reached the narrow strip of land with sea on either side...
I knew Ithmus be the place.
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︎ Dec 11 2019
What sits on the bottom of the sea and shakes?
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︎ Dec 05 2018
A man, adrift at sea in his kayak, was running low on supplies
As the sky darkened, he started to get worried about the cold. Rummaging through his supplies, he realized he had just enough to build a small fire. The man did accomplish his goal, but just as the fire started to grow, it sank his vessel, and the man drowned.
I guess the old saying holds true; you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
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︎ Feb 14 2019
Why was the sea otter on the spaceship?
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︎ Jul 11 2018
What did Justin Timberlake say when the lead singer of Weezer asked him to name a major peninsula on the northern coast of the Black Sea?
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︎ Sep 24 2019
A Marine Biology student was compiling a list of all the sea creatures they could find on Wikipedia. The next day they handed it in to their Professor, who took one look at it and said..
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︎ May 07 2019
A young-looking sea captain comes on deck to greet his crew for the first time and one man blurted out by accident, "He's a baby!"
The captain responded, "No shit, I used to be a seaman."
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︎ Sep 10 2019
I decided to start a chain of money changers operating on ships at sea.
We always gotta keep watch of the changes in currency.
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︎ May 02 2019
Old man at Subway explained to me why mermaids wear sea shells on their chest
I was in line at Subway and this older man was in front of me. He looked back and said, "Do you know why mermaids wear sea shells on their chests? Because "B" shells are too small and "D" shells are too big."
I gave him a chuckle and a "That's a good one".
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︎ Jun 01 2017
There is one animal in the ocean that marine biologists are refusing to release any date on. Apparently, itβs a sea crit.
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︎ Dec 11 2018
The first time I got seasick was on the Nau Sea
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︎ Sep 17 2018
What do you call an eagle out on the sea?
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︎ Oct 26 2016
My dad on sea world laying people off
Dad: did you see that sea world is laying off some of their employees?
Me: yeah! They laid off the mimes at The Clyde and Seymour show!
Dad: you know why right?
Me: no, why?
Dad: cause they couldn't say anything about it...
Groans all around
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︎ Jan 02 2015
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