I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint.
Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"
The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"
Why shouldn't puns be written down on paper?
because they would then be tearable.
My daughter's teacher gave her a project to write the English alphabet on slips of paper. Unfortunately 25 letter slips got wrinkled on her way to school.
But atleast she has a smoothie
Communism sounds good on paper, but I'm not sure I'd trust it to work...
A psychologist is writing a paper on the ramifications of the unsocial attitude of the average person:
What does the mean mean mean?
What do you call a paper on immigration?
Scientists published a paper on grapes, consciousness and fruit rights.
It is basically all about raisin awareness.
A man has to poop and has no toilet paper his friend says to wipe with a dollar. He comes back with poop on his fingers...." Why is there poop on your fingers"
" it's hard to wipe with 3 quarters 2 dimes and a nickel"
What do you call a man with a paper bag on his head?
I always make sure to write my worst puns down on paper.
After all, they are tearable.
My wife is teaching my little ones (3/1) about bugs so they wrote “Ant” in honey on a piece of paper to attract them and set it out on the deck. She was sad When we went out to check later that day, only one was there.
You should have pluralized it and more would have shown up!
Every time I enter a room, I write down my name on a piece of paper and stick it behind some furniture.
That’s my signature move.
What do you guys think about writing on paper?
Because I think it's pretty tearable
On our way to buy a refrigerator, I saw my dad carrying a piece of paper with a giant X written on it. I asked, “What are you going to do with it?”
He said, “Let’s cross that fridge when we get there.”
I put the last roll of toilet paper on the dispenser today.
My buddy says he’s a member of the royal family on paper
I don't mind people stocking up on toilet paper...
They're just getting ready for a really shitty week
I called 911 on a guy because he was holding graph paper.
Pretty sure he was plotting something...
Einstein: Dad, my paper on The Theory of Relativity finally got published!
Einstein’s dad: Damn son, it’s about time.
They just made a documentary on paper.
It’s available on paper view at most hotels.
My friend told me this: What did the pet frog say after you received an F on your test paper?
What did the dog say when he walked on sand paper?
Billy turned in his art project and his teacher said “This piece of paper has nothing on it?”
Billy replied “I drew a blank”
Sometimes, toilet paper gets placed on the rack incorrectly.
It's okay, though. They just roll with it.
If you play rock, paper, scissors on a treadmill, always choose paper.
Everyone knows you don't run with scissors.
The paper this was printed on has a purple grain
We used to write on scrolls, then paper, and now we’re back to scrolling again.
Toilet paper is the most dangerous substance on earth
It wipes out millions of people every day
I wrote a paper on Socialism
the instructor gave it low Marx, but I'm honestly not sure what other Engels I could've taken
I had all of the local papers knocking on my door due to the size of the pickle I grew.
I just sat down on the toilet, and started peeing when I realized there is no toilet paper
I'm about to lose my shit
I watched a program on National Geographic, where they showed a huge plant which had grown papers instead of leaves.
I wrote a pun on a piece of paper for my son
Then I ripped it up because it was tear-rable
I wrote an article on fly paper
That's my story and I'm sticking to it
Do you know what looks good on paper?
I wrote down the names of everyone I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint.
He’s now high on the list of people I never want to see again.
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, "What's with the paper towel?"
The pirate says, "Arrr! I've got a Bounty on me head!"
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head.
The bartender says; "hey, what's with the paper towel?" And the pirate says, "Arrr, I've got a bounty on me head!"
These memes on toilet paper
Are getting really shitty
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head
The bartender asks him why it's there, to which the pirate replies, "Arrr, there be a bounty on me head!"
Einstein: Dad, my paper on The Theory of Relativity finally got published!
Dad: Damn son, it’s about time!
Einstein to his Dad: Dad, my paper on The Theory of Relativity just got published.
Dad: Nice, son. It is about time.
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used it to roll his joint.
He is now high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
