I have a scar from an axe on my finger
If I had known I had ketchup on my fingers, I wouldn't have rubbed my eyes.
What do you call a tree fingers grow on?
I broke 2 fingers on my right hand today
On the other hand everything is OK.
Happy Fathers Day everybody
Someone got tattooed on Cheeto dust to their fingers
A man has to poop and has no toilet paper his friend says to wipe with a dollar. He comes back with poop on his fingers...." Why is there poop on your fingers"
" it's hard to wipe with 3 quarters 2 dimes and a nickel"
What do you call slobber on a ring finger?
So if I set up touch ID on my phone for the same finger on both hands
Does that make it ambitextrous?
This sign is strange but I can’t put my finger on it
I yelled “cow!” at a woman on a bike and she gave me the finger.
Then she plowed her bike straight into the cow.
I would like to thank my arms for always being at my side, my legs for supporting me, and my fingers because i could count on them
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said it was jammed
Yesterday I broke my finger, on the other hand I'm fine!
This is one my 7 year old son said to me... I had a closed fist up to my face with my little finger extended and picking food out of my teeth. My thumb was also extended out. He looked at me and with a smirk on his face said to me...
More and more people are sticking cheese on the tips of their fingers. Jane, who puts Camembert on her index finger, is a casein point.
My friend told me this long story on how he lost the tip of his index finger in an accident.
What do you call a ring that you put on your finger
Whenever I spy on my neighbour over the fence, I always stand on a box of fish fingers
just to get a Birdseye view.
Dad usually types on his phone with one finger.…
...until today when I caught him texting with both his thumbs.
Being the sarcastic smart are son of his, I asked " when did you learn to type with both thumbs?"
he smiled and happily replied: "The day I learned I was Ambi'text'rous".
He laughed for about 5 minutes and proceeded on to tell mum and my brother about his funny pun
Good one dad.
I was polled: “When counting to five on your fingers, where do you start?”
Me: “One”
(He was interested in thumb, or index finger. Apparently he had a write-in for pinky. Weird)
I cut my finger on some cheese.
My fingers always go numb on the ride into work
Pretty sure it's carpool tunnel syndrome
My son almost caught me picking my nose this morning and asked, “Was that a booger on your finger?”
I burnt my fingers on the barbecue.
Next time I won't cook them for so long.
I want to get a Tommy Hilfiger ring and put it on my middle finger
That way I can give everyone the Tommy Hilfinger
Son: How did you lose the little finger on your left hand, Dad?
Dad: I was showing someone how I lost the one on my right
I really hated the wort on my finger for the longest time
I can't put my finger on why but I really like the word endearing
It just has such a ring to it
On the phone with my SO, literally made my fingers curl.
Me: So are you watching House again?
Him: Nope, I'm watching Mansion.
Me: I've literally never heard of that show. What's it about?
Him: It's kind of like House, just a lot bigger.
The other day i looked down on a cinema filled with fish fingers
There's something strange about this soap, but I can't quite put my finger on it...
What kind of trees do fingers grow on?
So if I set up touch ID on my phone for the same finger on both hands
Does it make it ambitextrous?
What kind of tree do fingers grow on?
What kind of tree do fingers grow on?
I broke my finger at work today, on the other hand I'm completely fine.
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