A Roman man walks into a bar and extends his index and middle fingers and says...

"I'll have 5 beers please"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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you know... i’ve always hated my middle and index finger...

but i’m okay now, i’ve made peace with them.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RollyPollyOli
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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The other day a cadmium brick fell onto my two middle fingers.

It was heavy metal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sr_ChalupaBatman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
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What do you call a injured middle finger

A bruised opinion you want to show your boss every day

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cooconbeard
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2016
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Of all my body parts, my fingers are the most reliable.

I can always count on them.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/killerinstinct101
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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What is the least spoken language in the world?

Sign language

πŸ‘︎ 390
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joke_Number_Bot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
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Big shout out to my fingers!

I can always count on them.

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sigurlion
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
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Looking for a new pun tat

I already have a bee on my butt-cuz when I do the sizzle finger thing I say it stings beeing this hot

A pacifier on my middle finger- for the suckers

I am hoping to get a fly in a suit soon holding some jars of honey- cuz you can catch a fly with honey but you can catch more hunnys being fly

Any other ideas would be appreciated

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drippinsteezsam
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
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A joke I made just before a test in math

I turned to a friend next to me: "Will you tell me the answers if I don't know something?"

"No."

"I was counting on you. Now I have to use my hands."

πŸ‘︎ 918
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ICameHereToRead
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2015
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Calvin's Father is my role model

I totally believe in parenting similar to Calvin's father. As such, when my 6 year old son came to me and asked me why his index finger was shorter than his middle, I rationally explained to him that it had to be shorter because he'd poke his brain when he picked his nose.

It's been 3 weeks and he still believes me. :D

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavidTigerFan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2016
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Sign Language dadjoke! (is this a first?)

So my wife is learning sign language in college and will come home excited about all the stuff she has learned and will try to teach me. The only thing I've retained so far is yes and no. So when I ask her something that she wants to say no to, she'll sign it (thumb, index, and middle finger spread out, and then closing, like squishing a bug). I'll reply to this with just the opposite, opening those three fingers. That is not the correct sign for yes, the correct sign is like knocking on a door. Well when she does that to correct me, I yell "Who's there?!"

She's going to divorce, I just know it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/my_name_is_Camp
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2014
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You know, I’ve never really liked my middle finger or my index finger

It’s okay though, I’ve made peace with them

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gods-fav-failure
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
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