Life as a Stay at Home Dad (honest humor nothing against Stay at Home Dads)
As as an aspiring father figure, I have the greatest respect for dads of every kind. In fact, much of this stems from the fact I’ve grown up from the age of 6 without a father of my own. I made this video as a comical representation of what I hope to be one day: a guy full of dad jokes and such humor.
Thank you for reading and enjoy!
My doctor calls it Irritable Pal Syndrome.
Take a gate it's more useful
Battery
Because you won't know where the edge of your garden is
I hate cancer
But they’re just the wurst.
A Capital One
They were just Goff their game.
Only for young goats - then it's kidnapping.
It was a fraction of a fracking infraction.
So instead I will start to use the term "minority report"
Butt willy?
What do you call a German who can’t see
A notsee
Right Guard
I prefer father figure
Dad: "Wrong, son. He was just taking a political stand."
His friend replied, "That would be a pain in the ass."
No offense.
It was, after all, a Capitol offense.
You may think it’s A minor offense, but the punishment could B major
so I gave him tea.
arTICKLE
I glanced over and noticed that they were quite attractive. A little on the larger side, but that never stopped me before. So, yogurt cup in hand, I boldly approached their table.
“Excuse me,” I said, “I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation, and I noticed your lovely accents. Are you two ladies from Scotland by any chance?”
They immediately bristled at my question, obviously offended, and one of them snapped at me, “It’s Wales!”
“No offense intended,” I replied. “Please allow me to try again...are you two whales from Scotland?”
Because there's a Colt snap!
but it just won't fly here.
I wasnt happy but i let it fly.
It was out of order.
He wanted to be naan-offensive.
All offenses aside, I’m originally from Britain and we make fun of the Irish ALL the time.
So an Irishman stumbles upon a genie’s lamp and says to himself “ooh laddy what have we found here? I tink I’ll give it a rub to see if a genie appears!”
So he does, and lo, a puff of blue smoke comes pouring out of the spout, billows into the air and the genie’s form becomes solid. It speaks, “Oh master of the lamp, I am your genie and I grant you three wishes.”
The Irishman’s eyes are wide open with glee, his cheeks and nose red with fire, he shouts “tree wishes?! That’s just brilliant!” For me first wish, I’ll have a bottle of whiskey that never runs dry.”
The genie, eyes rolling, clicks his fingers and POOF a nice big bottle of whiskey appears before the Irishman. “Well I tink we’ll have to put this to the test!” He snatches up the bottle, takes a long healthy swig, glug glug glug, and the bottle pops as he releases it from his lips, “Ahhhhhhhh!!!” And to his amazement as soon as the liquid in the bottle settled, it gave a large burping “bulp!”, released a large bubble, and when the bubble popped the bottle was full again. “WELL I’LL BE! THAT’S THE MOST INCREDIBLE TING!”
The genie, steadfastly unimpressed, reminded the Irishman “Master, I will bring you fortune, splendor, reputation, treasures beyond any imagination. You have two wishes remaining. What would master want for a wish?”
The Irishman looks to the genie and says “oh tat’s easy! I’ll have two more of these!”
http://i.imgur.com/HiikZ78.jpg
They only know dirty jokes.
Re-pug-nant.
*screams internally*
She said, “Sorry, but not Sari.”
He doesn't get paid much, but at least he gets to keep all the tips.
