Two wind turbines are standing in a wind farm..one turns to the other and says β€œwhat’s your favorite kind of music?”

He replied β€œI’m a big metal fan!”

πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maniamadd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend got fired from his job at the dairy farm because of his erratic behaviour.

He was a danger to himself and udders.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Who always gets blamed for letting the farm animals out of their pens?

The escapegoat.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cd1cj
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
The cows on my dairy farm have all decided to form a new financial vehicle made up of a pool of money collected from many cows to invest in securities...

It's a mootual fund.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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My family just celebrated the 200th anniversary of owning a buffalo farm!

Yep. It's our bison-tennial.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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What do you call a farm when none of the cows give milk?

An udder disaster.

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lin-Duh
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I got a new job this week as the senior director of Old McDonald’s farm...

I’m the new CIEIO

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kilobenny
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
🚨︎ report
One of the ants on my ant farm dresses up as a clown to cheer up his friends.

He's an anti-depress ant.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emayezing
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I own a rabbit farm, but I want to get rid of them. The thing is, I don’t know how to do it, so I was thinking I should call someone to help me with that. Then I thought to myself:

A magician should do the trick.

πŸ‘︎ 111
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Heisy123
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
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In 1939, an unusual farm animal named Gertrude became the first cow to climb to the peak of Mt. Everest carrying gear for the climbers, setting a world record that still stands unbroken.

Since then, the steaks have never been higher.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mitch_watson
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I keep telling this girl who works on a farm to get over the loss of her favorite cow.

But she couldn't put it pasture.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnimuTrappu
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
So I work in the oil and gas industry and I just lost my job because of all these wind farms

Needless to say, I’m not a big fan.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XxStupidBusxX
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I quit my job at the farm because my boss wanted to pay me in fruits and vegetables instead of cash.

The celery was unacceptable.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
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I just got a new job at Old McDonald's farm as the chairman of the board.

I'm now the C-I-E-I-O

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SportsNerdist
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I don't like the smell of chicken farms

I guess you could say it's too fowl for you?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YouWantAFrenchFry
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
There once was a farm, famed for the high quality of product from the award winning cows, many spoke of it in hushed, respectful tones, but none could say where it was, and many claimed, but none could prove that they had been there.

It was legendairy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yeahmaybe2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Driving with my son and we pass a farm. I point out the flock of cows. He turns to me and says "Dad it's a herd of cows"

Heard of cows, of course I heard of cows. I just pointed out a flock of them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chefdumbdumb
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
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Have you heard of the dairy farm uprising?

It’s utterly amoosing... sorry for MILKING it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Corn_11
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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Where does the stench of a cow farm come from?

The dairy air.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FirstChAoS
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the farmer return some of his tan farm animals?

Because his wife didn't want two brown chicken brown cow.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoctorMasochist
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call the spirit of a dead hen haunting a farm?

A poultry-geist.

Courtesy of my father while eating rotisserie chicken.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/valmian
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the librarian say when they realised all the pages of animal farm were ripped out?

Orwell.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BD8D
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2017
🚨︎ report
I submitted a 16:9 picture of my farm to the photography contest.

They didn't like the crop.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
A group of vampires overthrew a farm using democratically-elected leaders. Their first course of action was to suck all the chickens dry.

It was a bloodless coop.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
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A man was arrested after being caught going around a bunch of farms and spanking the cattle.

He was a cow-rear criminal.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrHorseHead
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2017
🚨︎ report
Wife and I picked up our 8 year old son after a school field trip to a pumpkin farm. Son takes it to the next level. Wife about leaped out of the car...

Me: What did they have at the farm?

Son: Pumpkins and gourds.

Me: Did you get to pick one out to take home?

Son: I got a gourd because it looked cool. /shows us multi colored, striped gourd

Me: Gourd for you!

Son: /slightly confused... Yes, I got this gourd.

Me: So... would you say you had a ... gourd time?

Wife: /groans

Son: Ya, I had a gourd time.

Wife: /groans again.

Wife: Really?!

Me: He gets these jokes now. He's all... gourd up now.

Wife: STOP!

Son: Oh, gourd!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shifty21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2014
🚨︎ report
My friend lost his job at the dairy farm because of his erratic behaviour.

He was a danger to himself and udders.

πŸ‘︎ 708
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Just got a job as the senior director of the old McDonald farm

I’m the CIEIO

πŸ‘︎ 127
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RadiateHER
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend got fired from his job at the dairy farm because of his erratic behaviour.

He was considered to be a danger to himself and udders.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend got fired from his job at the dairy farm because of his erratic behaviour.

He was a danger to himself and udders.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend lost his cow milking job at the dairy farm because of his erratic behavior.

He was a danger to himself and udders.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report

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