Do you think he’s stalin?
Because they level the playing field
Yup, they don't make EM like they used to.
A fallout
Mass destruction
I hope you're happy.
Half-Life!
The bartender says that'll be $20.20
Naan violent
Weapon of Mars destruction.
I hear there is lots of on screen chemistry
Does he have no Seoul
My neighbor is dead against it.
They thought it was gonna be a blast
Cowboom
I would tell you more agricultural jokes but I don't have any udders
They'd traded jokes, played pop music, and generally made people's lives a touch brighter as they trundled to work.
Now, though, there was silence on the air. Ernie silently reread the fax message from the Department of Defense. As licensed broadcasters they were legally obligated to alert the public, to tell them the nukes were flying and that in a few minutes all the world's troubles would be over. What, though, was the point of that? To torture people with the knowledge of something they couldn't change?
Their eyes met and a decision was reached. Bert put on their most requested song, a sugary top 40 tune while Ernie produced a bottle of bourbon from under the desk. As their producer banged on the locked studio door the colleagues toasted the end of a long career.
Bert, always the consummate professional, turned away from the window as the first explosion split the distant horizon. He straightened his tie, tucked in his shirt, and brushed his hair back. He would meet his fiery death with dignity.
He turned to Ernie and said in a quiet, resigned voice, "How do I look, Ernie?"
Ernie walked slowly over to his friend. He looked into Bert's face and saw the closeness they shared, the strength of their relationship, forged over the years. He took a deep breath and spoke quietly:
"With your eyes, Bert."
It was kimpossible
There's a hosta situation in the garden center.
Neil deGrasse Tyson was talking about how the earliest fish had no eyes, to which my dad responded "I guess they were just fsh."
Brother, Dad, and I are in the kitchen.
Brother: "Nuke the Chinese!!"
He then proceeded to put our Chinese food in the microwave.
Nuke, I am your father.
It would give a whole new meaning to nuking your food
Send nukes.
They got nuked, and shouted "Oman!"
From Jean Schulz's AMA today, a real gem.
When asked why there were no adults in Peanuts he would reply....
SEND NUKES
