Two atoms walk into a bar, one says to the other β€œDang, I left my electrons in the car.” The other replies, β€œAre you sure?”

β€œYa, I’m positive.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 174
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LOLMrTeacherMan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can’t you trust an atom?

Because they make up everything

πŸ‘οΈŽ 92
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BigBoydski
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of fish is made from two sodium atoms?

2Na

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/1963Jan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know why I don't trust atoms

They make up everything

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Double-Fit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
An atom called the cops to report he had an electron stolen. The cop asked, "Are you sure?"

And the atom replied, "I'm positive!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 53
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I've learned to NEVER trust an atom

... because they make up everything!!!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/joshually
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Two beryllium atoms went on a date

It didn't work out. The relationship was toxic right at the start. I guess they were not meant 2 Be.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/matthewrmshin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar

followed by Batman

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientists have recently recorded the sounds of two helium atoms laughing

HeHe

πŸ‘οΈŽ 54
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/electricianmagician
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What happened after Atoms divorce was finalized?

All he was left with was a mushroom.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't you trust atoms?

Because they make everything up

credit to a really cool dood from r/memes

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jurrasicsquid
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A hydrogen atom runs into the police station...

... "Please help me! My electron has been stolen!" The desk officer looks up from his computer and asks: "Are you positive?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/miauguau44
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the atom do when he got bored?

He went fission

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/aprav1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Told a dark joke to an atom today, but it didn't really find it funny.

Turns out it was no laughing matter.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/___-o_o-___
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I live near an atomic shelter and in my encounters with it, it never lied and always kept its word

Now that's what I call structural integrity

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/longnamewithnospaces
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Atoms
πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lynderzfarm
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
How do we know that atoms are Catholic?

Because they have mass

πŸ‘οΈŽ 530
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the atom say when it kept losing electrons?

I really need to keep an ion them.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can’t atoms be trusted?

Because they make up everything.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HoggyOfAustralia
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 02 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

show more
πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
TIL about a sneak attack in WWII, in which Norway’s Skiing Soldiers deprived the German army of the atomic bomb.

They did Nazi it coming.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/blackabe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the police officer atom say to the suspect atom?

I got my ion you.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cyrilkhoury-02
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Her atoms are very fast
πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ZIOTIA
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I ordered an atom but got an ion instead.

They replaced it free of charge.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 39
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BartholomewDan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?

OK boomer.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 94
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/danielsoft1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I was studying the model of an atom.

I found it pretty Bohring.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jo-Sizzle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do atoms make up?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FATHEADBOSS69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can you never trust atoms?

They make up everything!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 67
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Never trust atoms

They make up everything

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ike133
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't you trust an atom?

because they make up everything!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 48
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/1507838Ab
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can you never trust an atom?

Because they make up everything

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tetricrafter26
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
You should never trust atoms

They make up everything

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BloodDReaper
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't you trust an atom?

Because they make up everything.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 45
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jackmammu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I dont trust atoms

They make up everything

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mr_mike-2004
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of fish is made of only two Sodium atoms?

Tuna

πŸ‘οΈŽ 61
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/severus_snape9
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t scientists trust atoms

Because they make up everything

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cascade272
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why should you never trust an atom?

Because it makes everything up

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/halospecial
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientists record the sound of two helium atoms laughing.

HeHe

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Never trust an atom.

They make up everything.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MemeBr3ath3r
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't you trust atoms?

because they make up everything.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 52
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DecentFisherman3
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why cant you trust an atom?

Because they make up everything.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 38
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Skrrrooch
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
You shouldn't trust atoms

They make up everything!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/moon1499
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Don’t trust atoms!

They make up everything!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/allisinwnderland
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Never Trust an atom.

They make up everything

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The_b0ogeyman
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Which kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms?

2Na

πŸ‘οΈŽ 315
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Milleke_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

show more
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HornyBastard37484739
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Never trust atoms.

They make up everything!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mega-cool-kid
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why cant you trust an atom?

Because they make up literally everything.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/StevetheEevve
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report

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