Two atoms walk into a bar, one says to the other β€œDang, I left my electrons in the car.” The other replies, β€œAre you sure?”

β€œYa, I’m positive.”

πŸ‘︎ 174
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LOLMrTeacherMan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can’t you trust an atom?

Because they make up everything

πŸ‘︎ 92
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BigBoydski
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of fish is made from two sodium atoms?

2Na

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1963Jan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know why I don't trust atoms

They make up everything

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Double-Fit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
An atom called the cops to report he had an electron stolen. The cop asked, "Are you sure?"

And the atom replied, "I'm positive!"

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I've learned to NEVER trust an atom

... because they make up everything!!!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joshually
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Two beryllium atoms went on a date

It didn't work out. The relationship was toxic right at the start. I guess they were not meant 2 Be.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/matthewrmshin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar

followed by Batman

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientists have recently recorded the sounds of two helium atoms laughing

HeHe

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What happened after Atoms divorce was finalized?

All he was left with was a mushroom.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't you trust atoms?

Because they make everything up

credit to a really cool dood from r/memes

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jurrasicsquid
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A hydrogen atom runs into the police station...

... "Please help me! My electron has been stolen!" The desk officer looks up from his computer and asks: "Are you positive?"

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/miauguau44
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the atom do when he got bored?

He went fission

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aprav1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Told a dark joke to an atom today, but it didn't really find it funny.

Turns out it was no laughing matter.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/___-o_o-___
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I live near an atomic shelter and in my encounters with it, it never lied and always kept its word

Now that's what I call structural integrity

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Atoms
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lynderzfarm
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
How do we know that atoms are Catholic?

Because they have mass

πŸ‘︎ 530
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the atom say when it kept losing electrons?

I really need to keep an ion them.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can’t atoms be trusted?

Because they make up everything.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HoggyOfAustralia
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
TIL about a sneak attack in WWII, in which Norway’s Skiing Soldiers deprived the German army of the atomic bomb.

They did Nazi it coming.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blackabe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the police officer atom say to the suspect atom?

I got my ion you.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cyrilkhoury-02
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Her atoms are very fast
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZIOTIA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I ordered an atom but got an ion instead.

They replaced it free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BartholomewDan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?

OK boomer.

πŸ‘︎ 94
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/danielsoft1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I was studying the model of an atom.

I found it pretty Bohring.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jo-Sizzle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do atoms make up?
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FATHEADBOSS69
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can you never trust atoms?

They make up everything!

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Never trust atoms

They make up everything

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ike133
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't you trust an atom?

because they make up everything!

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1507838Ab
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can you never trust an atom?

Because they make up everything

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tetricrafter26
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
You should never trust atoms

They make up everything

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BloodDReaper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't you trust an atom?

Because they make up everything.

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jackmammu
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I dont trust atoms

They make up everything

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_mike-2004
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of fish is made of only two Sodium atoms?

Tuna

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/severus_snape9
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t scientists trust atoms

Because they make up everything

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cascade272
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why should you never trust an atom?

Because it makes everything up

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/halospecial
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientists record the sound of two helium atoms laughing.

HeHe

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Never trust an atom.

They make up everything.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MemeBr3ath3r
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't you trust atoms?

because they make up everything.

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DecentFisherman3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why cant you trust an atom?

Because they make up everything.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Skrrrooch
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
You shouldn't trust atoms

They make up everything!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moon1499
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Don’t trust atoms!

They make up everything!

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/allisinwnderland
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Never Trust an atom.

They make up everything

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_b0ogeyman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Which kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms?

2Na

πŸ‘︎ 315
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Milleke_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Never trust atoms.

They make up everything!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mega-cool-kid
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why cant you trust an atom?

Because they make up literally everything.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StevetheEevve
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report

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