Get it. guys... ( none of my friends laughing)
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︎ Oct 16 2020
None of the other subs seem to appreciate my festive Gingerbread house. Maybe you folks would appreciate it?
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︎ Dec 22 2020
What rock group has only four members and none of them sing?
π︎ 9k
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︎ Aug 21 2020
None of my Co-workers are left handed.
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︎ Jan 12 2021
Master of Noneβ’β’β’Pastor of Muppets
π︎ 23
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︎ Nov 20 2020
In my defense, I have none
π︎ 18
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︎ Nov 18 2020
I bet none of you will see this one coming
π︎ 17k
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︎ Mar 08 2020
I have figured out why none of my friends like my cheesy jokes and puns.
They are laughtose intolerant.
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︎ Oct 27 2020
I was proud of it but none of my friends really appreciated it, so maybe itβll find some love here.
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︎ May 31 2020
None of your bismuth
π︎ 8
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︎ Jun 11 2020
What do you call a farm when none of the cows give milk?
π︎ 65
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︎ Jun 06 2020
Ain't none
π︎ 2
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︎ Jul 25 2020
The problem with Freudian psychology is that none of his hypotheses are testicle.
π︎ 11
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︎ May 17 2020
I got these for Christmas. None are very GOUDA, but theyβre so stupid I still laugh
π︎ 19
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︎ Jan 07 2020
I called five different businesses to fix the leak in my roof - none did.
But Seal Team Six got the job done!
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︎ May 01 2020
Definitely not mine, but punny none the less.
π︎ 609
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︎ Mar 06 2019
I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work
π︎ 538
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︎ Jun 10 2019
The very best, bar none. [OC]
π︎ 13
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︎ Dec 09 2019
The aviary I visited had many birds but none of what I really wanted to see. I had a good time anyway.
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 08 2019
My niece was talking mussels from her father's bowl and left none for him.
Me: Did you just take all of your dad's mussels?
Her, grinning: Yup!
Me: Isn't that a little shellfish?
(Explosion of laughs from the children and eye rolls from the adults)
π︎ 2
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︎ Jan 01 2020
I bought a book of magic tricks. Itβs badly written and none of the tricks work.
I guess the magician writer didnβt use spell check.
π︎ 12
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︎ Oct 18 2019
Why do they call them fun fair games when none of them are actually fair...?
π︎ 4
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︎ Feb 11 2019
Recently, my father passed away in the hospital. He had a cardiac problem, and we needed to perform a blood transfusion in order to save him. Unfortunately, none of us knew his blood type.
As he was dying, he kept telling us to "be positive," but it's incredibly hard to without him.
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︎ Feb 06 2019
Bruh, now i know why none of my posts have blown up, it's coz i asked to have them all in one piece yesterday.
π︎ 3
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︎ Apr 08 2019
I went knife shopping today but returned empty handed. None of them made the cut
π︎ 36
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︎ Nov 25 2018
2 for me, none for you.
π︎ 21
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︎ Dec 08 2018
None of my cleaners got the stain out, so I gave up.
My wife said I lacked Resolve.
π︎ 6
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︎ Jul 02 2019
Brendon Urie just flipped out because none of his electronics have been able to work
He had a panic at the Cisco
π︎ 12
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︎ Jan 06 2019
There once was a farm, famed for the high quality of product from the award winning cows, many spoke of it in hushed, respectful tones, but none could say where it was, and many claimed, but none could prove that they had been there.
π︎ 2
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︎ Feb 04 2019
10 puns were standing in a line to see which one was the best, but none of them won. No pun in ten did.
π︎ 11
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︎ Apr 13 2019
I wanted to write a joke about sodium but then I was like na none of yaβll will get it
π︎ 4
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︎ Feb 22 2019
None of the planets in our solar system have shown interest in a relationship with Pluto
He's just too cold and distant.
Bonus punchline.. They just want a platonic friendship
π︎ 2
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︎ May 30 2019
Tried Indian food for the first time. They recommended the Chicken Pakora appetizer, but I was having none of it.
For me it was a Naan starter.
π︎ 8
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︎ Mar 18 2019
How come none of the animals on the ark could play cards?
Because Noah was standing on the deck
Credit to my dad who said this 2 seconds ago
π︎ 42
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︎ Oct 28 2018
Whatβs a rock group of 4, where none of them sing?
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 25 2020
I bet none of you see this one coming.
π︎ 11
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︎ Jul 27 2020
I bet none of you will see this one coming
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Jun 11 2019
I bet none of you will see this one coming
π︎ 1k
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︎ Jul 28 2019
None of them work.
I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
π︎ 89
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︎ Nov 01 2019
I bet none of you will see this one coming
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Mar 26 2017
I know a lot of jokes about retired people but none of them work!
π︎ 32
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︎ Jul 29 2019
I bet none of you will see this one coming
π︎ 23
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︎ Jul 30 2019
I bet none of you saw this one coming....
π︎ 7
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︎ Oct 05 2019
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