Why do atheists own more cats than christians?

Because it’s illegal to own a Christian

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Notmischa123
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 06 2021
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I'm an atheist 11 months out of the year, but in December...

I'm eggnogstic

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tehdredpirateroberts
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21 2020
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Just found out im still a part of the catholic church even though ive been an atheist for years...

...guess you could call me a serial sinner

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Laferrarik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 16 2021
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What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah’s Witness?

Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/namean_jellybean
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 27 2021
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I told a Jesus joke to a room full of atheists...

no one believed

it was funny

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/watercolorfiddle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 08 2020
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What do you call an atheist business?

A non-prophet organization.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 211
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Juractive
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 09 2020
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Why do atheists give away all their spare money ?

They're a non-prophet organization

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 30 2020
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My 10yo boy seriously thought I'm an atheist.

Because I was born in the 80's and that makes me an eightieist.

//I'm not making this up.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 173
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/2balls1cane
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06 2019
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What did the Atheist say upon dying and meeting God?

Well I’ll be damned.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 69
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/myfirstacctwasbanned
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 31 2020
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Yo god this atheist!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/12jd
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 10 2019
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Atheists

So yesterday my dad opened the door to 2 guys asking for money. They asked him to donate for atheism. My dads reply was this, β€œI thought Atheism is a non-prophet organization.” They smiled and walked away.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ThePessimisticParrot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 29 2020
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If God had low self esteem, would that make him an atheist?

Because he doesn’t believe in himself

πŸ‘οΈŽ 89
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sBroz410
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 05 2019
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What do you call a dyslexic atheist?

A person who doesn't believe in dog.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 172
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/filmfarceur
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 27 2018
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What's the opposite of an atheist?

A theist

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/demanemotus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 08 2019
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Why don't atheist have to pay taxes.

Apparently Atheism is a non-prophet organization

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bridge_view
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29 2019
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My eyeglasses are atheist.

They're skeptical spectacles.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/this_time_i_mean_it
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16 2019
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Atheists are just people without deitary restrictions.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 73
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lostinservice
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 12 2015
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Did you know autocorrect was invented by an atheist?

He's going to he'll.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 14 2018
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I'm a Muslim man dating an atheist woman

She's my haram bae

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rvermilion
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 24 2016
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Did you hear about the Egyptian atheist?

He was in DeNile

πŸ‘οΈŽ 51
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kovehshteeble
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 14 2017
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How do we know spiders are atheists?

They aren't in sects.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tuctrohs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17 2018
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Atheists can't solve exponential equations because they don't belive in higher powers
πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jackamo91
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2017
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Son, do you know why it’s hard to be a dyslexic atheist?

Because your dog doesn’t believe in you.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 03 2018
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An atheist refused to solve a quadratic equation.

Because they do not believe in higher powers.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18 2018
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As an atheist I firmly believe in no sects before marriage.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/klingers
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 07 2017
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A silly nfl world pun. .perhaps better in r/atheist?

If the Vikings QB were questioning his religion. . would Christian Ponder be pondering his Christianity?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iwoodreddit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 12 2013
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Why are atheists so selfless?

Because Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porkification
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 27 2016
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What did the Jewish guy say to the atheist?

God Israel

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JavierEscuela
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 16 2016
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What do you call a breath freshener for atheists?

A heretic-tac.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/r_notfound
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2014
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What do you call an atheist church?

A non-prophet organization! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

πŸ‘οΈŽ 50
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/realswagmb
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 15 2019
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What do you get if you cross a Jehovah's Witness with an Atheist?

Someone who knocks on your door for no reason at all.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/henchy91
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 16 2020
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What did the atheist say upon arriving in hell?

Well, I'll be damned!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/oranje25
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26 2019
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What kind of organization is an atheist church?

Non-prophet

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheDestroyer575
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 23 2018
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Why can't atheists solve exponential equations>

Because they don't believe in higher powers.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 98
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LawOfExcludedMiddle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 24 2015
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