Nicer Puns

It’s a little meteor.

(Not a dad. But I told this to my dad and he approved)

It's adorable

She said it was a tie

"You know how to make a Venetian blind? Poke him in the eyes!"

People really myth judge him.

German children are Kinder.

Like a Toyota but nicer

I said like a subaru but nicer

It’s much nicer having some company

You're in a large city with a great port. You're in a nicer part of town, away from the water, in a nice inn. You're having a meal of potatoes. You look down - there's a toe! The toe smells like tar and fish. It stinks. Your neighbor leans over and says, "P.U.! That's not just any toe!! That's a portmanteau!"

I replied 'Baby, if you wanted to see things nicer, you could have just worn rouge-colored glasses."

Driving through Georgia, the wife saw a sign for Jekyll Island. She turns to me and says, "Oh I've heard Jekyll island is really nice."

My response: "Yeah, I've heard it's a lot nicer than Hyde Island"

Her: "You're terrible."

After visiting Chinatown, went to the Fisherman's wharf at night.

Wife sees shop with nice looking - non junky, Chinese items priced very high Wife: Look! It's like Chinatown, just way nicer and more expensive! Me: You might even call it....Fine Chinatown

I got both an eye roll and a groan. It was great.

I'd been waiting for it to kick in. 10 months after having baby, on a chairlift in Gatlinburg with my wife:

Wife: "This chairlift is a lot nicer and more stable than the one in our little theme park back home."

Me: "It has a lot more riding on it."

Me: This clementine juice is nicer than eating an actual clementine.

Dad: And this Budweiser is nicer than eating an actual bud.

As the family is making fun of my mother for her voice cracking

Mom: "Wasn't being nicer to everyone something we all wrote down?!?"

Me: "Nope."

Sister: "Nope."

Dad: "I don't remember, I wrote mine down last year."