What's the most dangerous part of New York in the winter?
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︎ Jan 07 2021
Sorry New York Jets, but you just canβt score touchdowns.
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︎ Jan 23 2021
What do you call a deer from New York
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︎ Jan 21 2021
Authorities are searching for a four-foot tall woman who recently escaped from prison in upstate New York. She was serving a five year sentence for fraud after convincing a number of victims that she was a powerful psychic.
Now she's a small medium at large.
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︎ Nov 25 2020
What do you call an elf that lives in New York City?
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︎ Nov 12 2020
Did you notice that people started taking the looters & rioters seriously once New York was hit?
Probably because everyone knows where the Big Apple is, but not where the Minneapolis.
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︎ Jun 01 2020
What do anti-police protesters use to move around in New York City?
A cab
(It came to mind and I have no wish for it to be political)
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︎ Nov 07 2020
Never ask anyone whether they prefer New York City or Syracuse.
That's comparing apples to oranges.
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︎ Oct 25 2020
Theres a lot of tall men around parts of new york
Especially long guy land.
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︎ Nov 05 2020
My glitch happened when I forgot to renew my subscription to a weekly news magazine based in New York City.
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︎ Nov 01 2020
Did you hear about the viagara truck hijacked in New York the other day?
The police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals
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︎ Aug 25 2020
Why can't a man living in New York be buried in Chicago ?
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︎ Jul 04 2020
Did you hear what the New York Times editor-in-chief said on their last day?
"Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today."
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︎ Sep 13 2020
Why do Indians love New York?
Because there's a Delhi on every block.
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︎ Aug 02 2020
2 cats in New York test pawsitive for Coronavirus
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︎ Apr 23 2020
I propose that the much desired New York Strip Steak be renamed to Washington DC.
This will make the District of Columbia, finally a steak.
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︎ Jun 27 2020
I once hiked to a lake with the states of Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, and New York on its western, southern, and eastern shores. Not a bird was singing and the lake was still...
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︎ Jun 04 2020
BREAKING NEWS: New York subway car breaks down after laptop explodes. When asked what happened, the NYPD responded:
A Dell set fire to the train
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︎ May 19 2020
What New York borough has the lowest cholesterol levels?
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︎ May 21 2020
Ever wondered why there are so many people named Tony in New York?
Itβs because on their luggage it said To N.Y
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︎ Apr 06 2020
I can't believe they gave that engineer who wrecked the train in New York the electric chair. And he survived it!
I guess he just wasn't a very good conductor.
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︎ Apr 19 2020
How do you call it when your previous wife moves to New York from a small town?
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︎ Mar 10 2020
The Russian president visited New York and stayed at a pretty swanky hotel.
He was Putin on the Ritz.
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︎ Dec 17 2019
What is Edward Benedict's, Humpty Dumpty's cousin from New York, favorite time of year?
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︎ Dec 24 2019
What does the chef of a Chinese New York restaurant say, when you barge into their kitchen?
HEYYY I'M WOKKIN ERE π½π³
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︎ Dec 05 2019
Where does Black Panther stay when he's in New York?
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︎ Mar 13 2019
What building in New York has the most stories?
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︎ Jul 21 2019
New York City once had 4 sections and New Jersey needed to borough one.
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︎ Jul 23 2019
When you regret ordering salmon over a New York strip
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︎ Jun 06 2019
You know what New York City said to London when it was his turn?
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︎ Jun 10 2019
How do you ask the bridge that crosses New York's Hudson River between Tarrytown and Nyack if it speaks German?
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︎ Jul 14 2019
Why did the vampire subscribe to the new york times?
He heard it had great circulation.
Btw can we start a trend of holloween dad jokes for the coming month? Plus I'd love to hear some pumpkin puns.
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︎ Sep 21 2018
What should you do if you see someone choking at a famous New York museum?
Perform the Guggenheimlich maneuver.
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︎ Jul 16 2019
What did the fisherman from New York say to the magician?
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︎ May 21 2019
New York Customer tells the chef that he knows the secret ingredient
The chef promptly asks who told you? Customer says, I have my sauces.
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︎ Apr 23 2019
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
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︎ May 19 2019
"DELETER OF THE FREE WORLD" - New York Post front page on the Hillary email scandal
imgur.com/0BNIPzn
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︎ Mar 11 2015
I was once so drunk I went from New York to Alabama,
I guess you could say I wasnβt in the best of states.
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︎ May 22 2019
New York Post: "How Patriots owner Robert Craft could get off in prostitution case"
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︎ Feb 28 2019
When my friend from New York City drove to Nebraska in his Honda SUV, he went for a walk in the countryside...
He was out of his Element.
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︎ Mar 20 2019
New York MTA (subway) dad must be in control of writing for the website...
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︎ Sep 24 2015
Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbor?
Because she can't lay down
(Old guy at work told me this today)
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︎ Jul 29 2018
Where do New York dad's go to get new jokes?
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︎ Nov 24 2017
I never sausage a thing as her tenderloins, til your New York strip.
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︎ Feb 11 2017
Back when I lived in New York, I had a friend named Justin, who worked as an NBA clock operator.
We called him Justin, the Knick of time.
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︎ Sep 20 2015
New York might have the Big Apple...
But Minnesota is where the Minneapolis
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︎ Jan 31 2020
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