What do you call a Navy Seal with a prolapsed rectum?

bad ass

πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DannypWooley
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 20 2021
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Guys, today was my first day in the navy and I felt so lost!

Sorry, wrong sub.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 506
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/crossover131
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 14 2020
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Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?

So when they get back to port, they can Scandinavian

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheDisneyDork
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2020
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Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on their boats?

So when they pull up to port, they can Scandanavian

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gabz09
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2020
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So I don't shop from Old Navy anymore

I'm now ex-navy

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Fumpey
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 29 2020
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The US Navy will start to equip all their subs with emotional support dogs. After a lot study, they decided on Dachshunds...

...they will be subma-weiners.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 106
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 24 2020
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πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/whyyoutookmyname
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2020
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Why does Norway and Sweden’s navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?

So the can scandinavian

Can’t take credit for this one. A client of mine told me this.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DeutscheTaters
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2020
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Why is there no Jedi Navy?

Sailing is a path to the dockside

πŸ‘οΈŽ 59
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jburn09
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 10 2020
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The navy is now taking dogs along on their submarines

They're subwoofers

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Intrepidity87
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2020
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My job interview for the Navy was going well, until they asked if I could swim

To be honest, I thought they’d have boats.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ask_carly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 02 2020
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People need to stop saying the Navy is part of the military.

They’re submarines.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 17 2020
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A Navy captain got in trouble for ordering an anchor much too large for his ship

Weigh more than needed

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DweadPiwateWoberts
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 22 2020
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What's a Navy SEAL's least favourite drink?

Canadian Club.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kickypie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 02 2020
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As a pilot in the Navy I have to wake up early in the morning

You know, for my morning portie.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/siddharths067
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 09 2020
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People in the Navy must be on Santa's OTHER list

Because they're naughty-cal

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/megadecimal
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 17 2020
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Why was the Navy Seal sad?

He doesn't like the color blue.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 07 2020
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Navy seals.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 47
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/learjet2014
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 26 2020
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TIL there was once a nation whose Navy could only attack when the enemy was behind them.

It was Aftcannonstan.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/7stringGriffle
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 04 2020
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What do you call a snail in the Navy?

A Snailor

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kickypie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 24 2020
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TIFU. So, I'm in the navy, and when we left for deployment I got on the wrong boat.

Sorry, wrong sub.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 119
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nemorianism
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 02 2020
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Nice valentines card from the us navy
πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BegginersMethod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 16 2020
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Eduardo Moreno tried to crash his train into a Navy hospital ship to expose a supposed conspiracy

That’s a crime with a loco motive

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shantron5000
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 03 2020
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A navy recruit has his first day on a submarine

He speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post.

"Go stand at the periscope entry-way, and make sure no unauthorized personnel touch the periscope."

The recruit follows orders, and stands by the periscope. After 15 minutes, the officer stops by.

"Son I'm changing your post to the mess hall. Go in there and start washing some dishes."

The recruit obeys, and heads to the mess hall. He's cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again.

"Listen here recruit, your new post is in the supply room. I need you to make sure everything is strapped down tight, in case of rough waters."

The recruit again follows orders, and heads off to the supply room. There, he sees a crewman, moving some boxes.

"Hey there," says the recruit. "is it normal to keep getting reassigned to new posts all day? I haven't kept one position for more than 15 minutes!"

The crewman says "Oh yeah- this sub is full of reposts."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 93
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2019
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When I was in the Navy, I was often told to go to the rear of the ship...

They were stern orders.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 24 2020
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So the Norwegian Navy is painting their ships with a bar code pattern

So when then come into port, they can Scandanavian

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ouyin2000
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 03 2020
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Navy seal

Dammit, why can't I be grey or brown like all the other seals?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kill_Them_Back
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2020
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Why does the Norway Navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?

So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/artofmuziq88
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2020
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Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?

So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian

πŸ‘οΈŽ 307
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/clairem2113
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 27 2020
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Did you know the Norwegian Navy place bar codes on their ships?

So when they come back to port they can Scandinavyin.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NoinePiecesOfVinyl
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 31 2020
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Did you know that the ships in the Swedish navy have barcodes on them?

It’s so when they come back they can Scandinavian

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GamerFluff27
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 18 2020
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Did you know the Norway Navy has barcodes on the sides of their ships?

So when they return to port they can Scandinavian.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mercury1091
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 08 2020
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Why does the Norway navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?

So when they come back to port they can scandinavian

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PlayerMig
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 07 2020
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Why does Norway's navy have barcodes on the sides of the ships?

So when they come back to port, they can Scandinavian.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spookycheesepuff
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 28 2020
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Why does the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?

So when they come back to port, they can Scandinavian

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hairyballzak
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 29 2020
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Why do the Norwegian, Swedish and Danish Navies have barcodes on their ships?

So that when they come to port, they can Scandinavian.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheReal_BlueBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 27 2020
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Why does the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on their ships

So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian

πŸ‘οΈŽ 54
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/renegaderis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 24 2020
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Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?

So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 160
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/victor_devito
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17 2019
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Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on their ships?

So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 764
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jbizzlebev
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 16 2019
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Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?

So when they come back to port they can scandinavian

πŸ‘οΈŽ 39
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LeopardusMaximus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 18 2019
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Why do the Norway navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?

So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/charliealphazulu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 21 2020
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Why do the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on all their ships?

So when they come back to port, they can... Scandinavian

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rjaramillo96
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2020
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A new Navy recruit has his first day on a submarine.... (apologies to u/buddybd)

He speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post.

"Go stand at the periscope entry-way, and make sure no unauthorized personnel touch the periscope."

The recruit follows orders, and stands by the periscope. After 15 minutes, the officer stops by.

"Son I'm changing your post to the mess hall. Go in there and start washing some dishes."

The recruit obeys, and heads to the mess hall. He's cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again.

"Listen here recruit, your new post is in the supply room. I need you to make sure everything is strapped down tight, in case of rough waters."

The recruit again follows orders, and heads off to the supply room. There, he sees a crewman, moving some boxes.

"Hey there," says the recruit. "is it normal to keep getting reassigned to new posts all day? I haven't kept one position for more than 15 minutes!"

The crewman says "Oh yeah- this sub is full of reposts."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/IranRPCV
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does Norway's navy have bar codes on the sides of their ships?

So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Brizzo7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 08 2020
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Why does the Swedish navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?

So they can Scandinavian

πŸ‘οΈŽ 75
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GymLadJack
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 25 2019
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Why does the Norway Navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?

So when they come back they can Scandinavian.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 953
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rafapex
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 26 2018
🚨︎ report

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