Two morons were walking along a narrow bridge

It’s very windy so the big one falls off, the little one manages to make it across only because he was a little moron (more on)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hipphazy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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Just finished resding a great book called "Arguement On The Narrow Boat"

By R.G.Bargee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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When we reached the narrow strip of land with sea on either side...

I knew Ithmus be the place.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rdunne22
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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"I'm gonna try out my new narrow bed," said my daughter

I said, "Sleep tight."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
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I've always wanted a narrow land bridge between Hampshire and an island off the south coast of England.

I'm dreaming of a Wight Isthmus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
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The invention of the alley really opened up new avenues. Too bad they were too narrow
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pirate_of_the_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2016
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A truck carrying a load of lightweight narrow boats blew a tire and crashed into a river.

Canoe believe it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TGerke
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2017
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Me: someone we know is possessed by an owl

Friend: who?

Me: [narrows eyes]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/St_Lambchop
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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A little boy walked into a police station

"I lost my daddy" says the boy. "We'll look for him son, don't worry: what's he like?" asked the officer. "Liquor and women."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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John Travolta tested negative for coronavirus last night

Turns out it was just saturday night fever

(Taking advantage of a very narrow humour window!)

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoAdenine
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
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A momma mole, pappa mole and baby mole were sitting in their mole hole.

The dad suddenly sits up, sniffs the air and runs to the narrow opening.

"Somebody is baking! I smell nutmeg!"

The mother runs over and wedges herself in the remaining opening.

"Ooh! I smell vanilla and cinnamon!"

The baby poked and prodded but couldn't get past his mom and dad to smell the outside air.

"Oh man! All I smell is mole asses!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notagoodspelller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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Dad: Someone among us is an owl.

Me: Who?

Dad: Narrows eyes suspiciously

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
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Me: I know a gay guy who sounds like an owl

Friend: who? Me: [narrows eyes]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/michaelveyrocks
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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TIL: There’s a long lost episode where Superman nearly dies because of an ill-fitting costume.

He had a narrow S cape.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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I won the slim waist trophy

Glad I got that one under my belt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
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In one lost episode, Superman almost dies because he was wearing the wrong sized cloak.

He had a narrow S cape.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
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What do you call a thin skeleton?

Narrow Marrow

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doyoueverjustleft
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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When the police were chasing me I only just got away by firing myself out of a bow...

I tell you, it was a narrow escape.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeardFM
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2016
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An Englishman, A Frenchman, A Spaniard and A German go to a magic show

They arrive late so all the seats were taken. The 4 gentlemen decide to stand in the narrow walkway at the back, one behind the other.

The Magician on stage notices the commotion, and asks the gentlemen:

"Can you all see me from there?"

So the gentlemen reply in order:

"Yes." "Oui." "Si." "Ja."

(Note: I didn't find a joke similar to this on here, but if you did post this joke before, please let me know πŸ˜‰)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlduinIsAGeordie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
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Expensive beverages

I just saw this guy pay $1,000 for a beverage steeped in footware by a leather-wearing, mohawked, heavily-pierced man in a dark, narrow, side-street.

I guess he really values punk-shoe-alley-tea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jabonko
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2015
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Dad's jokes drove us crazy

My dad was riding shotgun while my brother was making repeated futile attempts to pull his Suburban into a narrow parking space. Dad turned around to me, looked me in the eye and deadpanned, "He's got parking son's disease".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/towbeear
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2013
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This farmer had a prize show bull.

This bull had won best in show awards. Groomed daily, perfect stance, it was a great bull.

One day the farmer goes out and sees the bull has gone cross-eyed. This was going to ruin ant chance of future awards, so he called the livestock vet out.

The veterinarian gets there and examines the bull, realizes he's seen this happen before and grabs a narrow metal tube from the back of his truck.

He brings the tube over and jams the tip of it into the bulls hind end and proceeds to blow as hard as he can through the end of it.

The farmer looks at the bulls eyes as the vet is blowing into the bulls backside and says "it's working! I see his eyes straightening right up, keep doing it!"

The vet blows and blows his face and cheeks turning red and finally says, "I'm out of breath I can't do it anymore, his eyes are almost straight you'll have to finish"

The farmer comes over and grabs the tube, pulls it out, turns it around and puts it back in the other way, the vet stops him and says, "What on Earth are you doing?"

The farmer says, "Well I don't want to put my mouth on the same end you did!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amd20555
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
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My aunt was talking about baby names

I was talking to my aunt who was pregnant and she was thinking of potential names: Aunt: I've narrowed it down to Winifred for a girl or Conwyn for a boy. Me: I guess it will be a win win situation either way

Neither name was picked

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andrewvilla09
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2015
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The day I realized that I tell dad jokes (an introduction).

It was sometime last year that my girlfriend at the time and I were walking on a local public trail with her German Shepherd. She had always been very adamant about my jokes having a "dadness" to them but I always brushed it off until this day.

As we're walking, a lady and her two kids go to pass us going the other way on a narrow part of the trail and I say:

"Don't worry, she's friendly...(smirk level at maximum)...oh and the dog is too."

My girlfriend facepalms and the lady chuckles and says, "It's like we brought your father with us, huh kids?"

Girlfriend enthusiastically says, "See! Not funny dad jokes!"

From that day on I acknowledged my dad jokes as what they are but to this day I refuse to believe they aren't funny. And I guess that's my introductory post to this subreddit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DGLGMUT
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2015
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This one comes from my aunt's dad...

My aunt's bathroom is shaped like a hallway, long and narrow. I found out when she moved into her house, her dad told her she should repaint the bathroom with silver paint. When she asked him why, he said, "Well then you could call it the Long John Silver."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaRatmastah
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2015
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After his doctor's appointment...

My dad had a heart attack over the summer and today he had another appointment with his doctor.

Me: What did the doctor say?

Dad: He gave me some bad news...

(Tense moment)

Dad: He said I was going to die.

(I relax at this point and narrow my eyes at him)

Dad: Yeah, doc says I'm going to die in about forty or fifty years.

cue laughter on his end and eye-rolling on mine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/soperfectlybad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2014
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My mother's first dad joke.

So when I was cooking in the kitchen (which is very narrow and small) I accidentally brushed up on a loosely closed tin can of Door Varnish spilling it all everywhere. I had to explain after I tried to clean it up to my mother and brother.

Me: So yeah, I spilled the whole can of door varnish on the kitchen floor and the hallway, it's going to hard to walk around for a little while.

My Brother: changes conversation Anyways are you free tomorrow, Mum?

My Mother: Yes, but first we must get out of this sticky situation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePeachyPanda
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2014
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Getting dad joked while camping

i'm digging around in the supplies when my buddy asks, "what are you looking for?".

"S'more stuff"

to which he replies, "like what?"

My mouth opened and I just about repeated myself when my eye brows narrow and I look at him. he's just grinning at me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/playerIII
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2014
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I know someone possessed by an owl

Friend: who? Me: [narrows eyes]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/michaelveyrocks
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
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