So my mum nags me a lot and before we were going out she told me to put my socks on and i got pissed off so i said "you don't need to tell me to put my fucking socks on". then my dad comes out with "no just put your regular socks on.
He then looks at me and says "marital navigation, Nagigation".
I finally had to put my foot down.
I herd you!
I keep telling him it’s getting old
Husband, "legally a brother and sister can't get married"
I told him, “Turn right at the next corner.”
I re-Lent-ed
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "My wife has really been nagging me about the need to start recycling. Seems like a bit of trouble, but I finally decided to make her happy," the guy tells the bartender. "So I bought a used Harley."
Don't be an eh sayer
Glad-he-ater
I thought "here we gooooOOOOO"
You could say he was out standing in his field
So I angrily got up and flipped the bird
Don't worry, I'll Handel it and be right Bach!
We’ve all beignet before, amiright?
My wife was not happy when I got home and told her I needed to start job hunting
You're only looking to get your ass kicked.
In the end, he gave in.
Go ahead, prove me wrong
The nagging feeling that somehow, all of this has happened before.
To Dave.
Water-tight bundles of untraceable drug-dealer cash.
Lost somewhere on the beach between West Palm Beach and Nag's Head, NC.
Also, loose pirate treasure of gold or silver.
Sentimental value. Small reward offered.
After getting nagged for swearing I say "Times have changed." My dad replies with "You're right, it's daylight savings."
Egg Nag Champa.
Googled anagram and Google asked "Did you mean nag a ram?"
My dad is a night owl and my mum is an early bird, meaning he has a good few hours to plot and scheme his dadjokes...
Well the other evening, he decided to scare the living daylights out of my mum by drawing a face on a melon, stuffing it in a hoodie with rubber-gloves, shoes and jeans and posed it in our morning room.
Now my mum gets up real early, and walks around the house in a grumpy daze, grumbling, scratching and squinting and whatnot with a grim face looking for something to nag about, so you can imagine the sheer pride he (probably) felt wrapped up in bed with that dumb dadjoke grin from his "Hilarious prank", to hear a loud "AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" coming from across the hall.
Needless to say i'm pretty sure she found something to nag about that morning.
He then said "nag nag nag nagnag nag nag nagnag nag"
I replied "The old one was nagging me too much"
Preface: My dad, mom, and I went out to eat mexican food. Like we usually do, we order a huge platter of nachos and demolish the whole thing. Surely we are full even before our main course arrives. We all ordered combination platters that consisted of, burritos, enchiladas, and tacos which were overflowing with lettuce that no one except for my mom wanted to eat. My mom kept on nagging my dad and I to eat the lettuce so that it would lighten us up and make us feel less full:
Mom (for the 10th time): You boys should eat your lettuce. Come on now.
Me: Mom lettuce be!
Immediately my mom cringed and groaned, while my dad, after repeating the joke, gave a hearty chuckle.
Change my mind.
Nothing actually starts with an N and ends with a G.
