Milk Bottle Puns

Because it was a liter.

It's just a little lait

How dairy

I thought, "how dairy!"

Just in case anyone wants a black coffee.

Lady left the Milk Man a note on her empty milk bottles, asking him to come see her before he left.

Milk Man comes by, reads the note, goes up to the lady’s house, knocks on the lady’s door and says, “you wanted to see me?”

Lady says, “yes, I read that taking milk baths is good for your skin, so I’d like for you to bring me enough milk to fill my bathtub, can you do that?”,

Milk Man says, “I sure can, would you like that milk pasteurized?”

Lady says, “no, just up to my nipples would be good”.

He will do three things. Guaranteed.

1. Pick up a bottle of milk and shake it, asking if we want milkshake.

2. Go up to a young teenager stacking shelves and ask for whatever they're currently restocking on the shelves and watch as they scratch their heads and look around only to hold out the item with a dumb look on their face (which surprisingly happens almost every time)

3. Will get a bottle of water from the shelf and hold it high with one hand and drop it, catch it with his other hand then say "did you see that?! It was a beautiful waterfall!!!"

Obviously a hearty dad-chuckle follows each of these actions.

Friend: You know most bottled milk actually comes from the same place?

Me:.... A cow?

Friend: Get the f*ck out of my house

I come home with a bottle of soya milk (as opposed to the regular milk that my family is used to).

Dad: What's that?

Me: Soya milk.

Dad: Soya think that's good for you?

Awesome.