TIL that "miaou", "miaow", and "miaul" are all valid alternate spellings to the word "meow". thefreedictionary.com/meo…
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👤︎ u/vann_dan
📅︎ Aug 30 2017
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gênant culotté pleure chiale chouine couine aboie miaule boude brûle hurle crie crève pleurniche ricane jacasse agonise beugle chuchote murmure ronfle suffoque asphixe implose explose rugis siffle ronronne meurt caquette renifle Zozote roucoule souffre soufle

gênant culotté pleure chiale chouine couine aboie miaule boude brûle hurle crie crève pleurniche ricane jacasse agonise beugle chuchote murmure ronfle suffoque asphixe implose explose rugis siffle ronronne meurt caquette renifle Zozote roucoule souffre soufle

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📅︎ Feb 24 2021
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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a hole?

Phil

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📅︎ Jun 30 2021
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DAD JOKES ARE NOT DIRTY.

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

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📅︎ Jun 18 2021
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Rational
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📅︎ Jun 30 2021
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My wife blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns.

Well, toucan play at that game.

👍︎ 9k
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👤︎ u/Zayan-ali
📅︎ Jun 30 2021
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There are only two white people in the movie Black Panther

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

👍︎ 12k
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👤︎ u/jzagri
📅︎ Jun 24 2021
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My 3 yr old daughter made her first pun today and I almost cried. She was eating an apple and I asked her if she liked apples.

She said apple-lutely

👍︎ 12k
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📅︎ Jun 29 2021
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La triste vie de Moïra

J'ai appris aujourd'hui le décès de Moïra, la chatte de la famille.

Je devais avoir dans les 9-10 ans, ma sœur et moi jouions dans la ferme de mes grands-parents. Étant curieux de nature, je fouillais dans tous les recoins lorsque je suis tombé sur une portée de chatons cachés dans une décoration en forme de moulin à vent. J'appelle ma sœur, lui montre ma découverte, et tout contents on court l'annoncer à mes parents et grands-parents. Sauf que bon, nous sommes à la campagne, et les chats pullulent. Ma grand-mère, ne voulant pas d'une invasion, elle nous annonce qu'elle va les noyer dans l'étang. Choqués, ma sœur et moi supplions nos parents de pouvoir au moins garder un chat. À force de supplications (et sûrement de chantage émotionnel), nous obtenons gain de cause et on nous laisse choisir un chaton.

Ses frères et sœurs subirent le sort que ma grand-mère leur avait réservés.

Quelques semaines passent, étant normalement sevré (ce qui n'était pas le cas en y repensant des années plus tard), ma grand-mère apporte le chaton, dans une sorte de cage ou de panier en osier. La petite bête, arrachée à son milieu et à sa mère, était apeurée et farouche, ne voulant pas sortir de son refuge de fortune. Laissée là dans la véranda, il nous fallu quelques jours pour l'habituer à notre présence, et ainsi l'adopter.

Chose étant faite, il fallait lui trouver un nom; ma mère proposa Moïra. « Moïra » en grec ancien signifie « destin ». Etant la seule rescapée de sa portée, le prénom fut directement adopté. Ce sera donc Moïra !

Les premières semaines se passent bien, on apprends à la connaître, on joue avec elle; et mon père qui ne voulait pas d'animaux de compagnie se retrouva attendri en quelques jours.
Vint le moment ou il fallu la laisser sortir.

La maison de mes parents est située le long d'une départementale très passante, et ma sœur avait trop peur que le chat se fasse écraser par une voiture (je devais sûrement avoir la même frayeur à l'époque). Des amis de famille ayant eu deux chats, ils nous ont parlé d'une solution : Attacher le chat dehors avec un harnais pour l'habituer aux limites du terrain, pour ensuite la laisser libre au bout de quelques années.

Mais voilà, quelques années plus tard, ma sœur ayant trop peur de perdre le chat, son harnais ne lui fut jamais retiré. Imaginez : Vous êtes un chat, vous aimez vous balader et explorer votre environnement; vous aimez chasser aussi. Vous voyez une souris, vous vous tassez, approchez à petits pas de la pauv

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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📅︎ Jun 27 2021
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What did the left eye say to the right eye when they got married?

'Eye-do'

This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.

The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!

Cred once again my sis wants credit lol

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👤︎ u/tieyz
📅︎ Jun 27 2021
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What was a very common name in the middle ages?

I heard parents named their children lance a lot.

First post please don't kill me

Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!

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📅︎ Jun 24 2021
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Apologies if it's a bit corn-y
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📅︎ Jun 26 2021
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Gottemm
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📅︎ Jun 29 2021
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so many choices
👍︎ 5k
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📅︎ Jun 07 2021
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Well that didn't cross my mind
👍︎ 6k
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📅︎ Jun 11 2021
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He knows too much
👍︎ 6k
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📅︎ Jun 24 2021
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where do pirates get their hooks?

second hand stores!

👍︎ 7k
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📅︎ Jun 25 2021
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I've spent all morning trying to think of a quality pun, just to come up with THIS otter rubbish.
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📅︎ Jun 28 2021
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I've just deleted all the German names off my pre owned iPhone..

it's Hans free now..

👍︎ 7k
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📅︎ Jun 28 2021
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3.14159265387279 snek
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📅︎ Jun 20 2021
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My 6 year old wanted me to share his joke with you all. What is a horses favorite store?

Old Neeeeiiiiighvy

👍︎ 9k
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📅︎ Jun 28 2021
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Did you know 10+10 and 11+11 are the same?

10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too

👍︎ 5k
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📅︎ Jun 27 2021
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unstacks comptly blisters miauled antiman unplunderously

somberish fractionizing eu*phorbi

a circumagitation epoxides. sennegrass hors >eier rudmasday nonsacrificing hymnody beset chernozem crimpled arrhenotokyetherized alb^uminometry evap**orator appendicial uvitonic decompress innoculate foreheater barbecued myologies trogger unimperially secundigravida lebanon trichophyt`e metagnathous iodize hydroponic ~~r >einterpret septemberer tele >mo,tor unconformism unifactoral precynica

l mezc

al subsuperficially succes a.rolia oiltight* unbleached metabolon preposition unmechanic tetracoralla typotheria scryin,g noontide slavonian honeyfogle unreconnoitered dispurvey d**iactinic deunitin~~g overfoo

lis >hly trabecular spiracular entomotaxy germanness chileani~~ze jesti*ngs > nontannin

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👤︎ u/stroke_bot
📅︎ May 16 2019
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Rock bottom
👍︎ 4k
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👤︎ u/Theo19555
📅︎ Jun 23 2021
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How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?

A buck-an-ear!

I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!

Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!

👍︎ 6k
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📅︎ Jun 25 2021
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My Son Ate a Bunch of Scrabble Tiles. My Wife is Scared but I'm not...

He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.

👍︎ 8k
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👤︎ u/hypeaze
📅︎ Jun 23 2021
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Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $3.00

Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:

Riceless

👍︎ 5k
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📅︎ Jun 28 2021
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Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face"

That was the punchline

👍︎ 9k
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📅︎ Jun 29 2021
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I threw up in the toilet
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📅︎ Jun 25 2021
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Hot
👍︎ 6k
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👤︎ u/AlexxFruit
📅︎ Jun 22 2021
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Saw this on insta @PunHubOnline
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👤︎ u/Haidi7
📅︎ Jun 26 2021
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Had a good chuckle
👍︎ 7k
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📅︎ Jun 21 2021
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At what point does it stop being grave robbing and start being archaeology?
👍︎ 2k
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👤︎ u/Unholy_Jer
📅︎ Jun 28 2021
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Today on a walk my son was asking about a bunch of plants and stuff, he pointed to one and I said it was a fungi.

Without missing a beat he asks "Daddy, do you know how much room you need to grow Fungi like that?"

I did not know.

So he tells me "as Mushroom as possible!"

So proud.

👍︎ 9k
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📅︎ Jun 26 2021
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What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

👍︎ 9k
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📅︎ Jun 22 2021
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So my dad just died because he needed blood and we didn’t know his blood type.

He was so brave and even tried to encourage us, the family around him, with his last breaths. He kept whispering to us to Be Positive.

👍︎ 10k
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📅︎ Jun 14 2021
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The elderly wife in church turned to her husband and said, “I’ve just done a silent fart. What should I do?”

He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.

👍︎ 11k
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📅︎ Jun 19 2021
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Air and space museum
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👤︎ u/romroming
📅︎ Jul 01 2021
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I have been asking everyone what LGBTQ is?

So far no one has given me a straight answer.

👍︎ 11k
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👤︎ u/awesumit
📅︎ Jun 02 2021
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