Who gave that boring speech, they asked. I admitted it was meh.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 04 2021
Meh
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying βOoh, I love how smooth it is.β
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 23 2020
My favourite time of day is 6:30
π︎ 504
π
︎ May 26 2021
Never trust stairs, they are always up to something
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 01 2021
How does a non binary ninja kill people?
π︎ 19
π
︎ May 01 2021
How many hoarse men of the apocalypse are there?
Four... roughly speaking.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 02 2021
My wife gives the best handjobs....
Infact, she won the Pullitsurprise.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 14 2021
Why can't shellfish play video games?
They can't gain the mussel memory
π︎ 39
π
︎ Feb 08 2021
Heβs got the spirit
π︎ 146
π
︎ Dec 29 2020
Whatβs the best way to trap a polar bear?
First drill a hole in the ice and line it with green peas. When the polar bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the icehole!
(Told to me by my dad at dinner this evening)
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
Why are elevator jokes so classic and good?
They work on any levels:)
π︎ 20
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
A man was walking g down the street...
When out of nowhere, he gets hit by a car and flipped over. A woman came running over as he was lying on the sidewalk, takes off her jacket and slides it u der his head.
"Are you comfortable?" The woman asked
"Meh, I make a living." He replied.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 04 2021
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
The police officer made me pay up for my crime.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
Time flies like an arrow...
Fruit flies like a banana
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 31 2020
My little sister came to my room with a lighbulb in her mouth. I asked her "what in the world are you doing?"
She said "I'm having a light snack."
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jun 20 2020
During his wedding, my friend told me that I was the worst best man he has ever seen.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 22 2020
When I was in school I got asked, "What is 3000 converted into Roman Numerals ?"
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 17 2020
I can't believe my FitBit still shows no progress...
How much more jogging my memory must I do?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 03 2020
Two pieces of bread are talking to each other
Bread 1: So you like mold now?
Bread 2: Yeah it grew on me
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 18 2020
My therapist refused to help me with my fear of backing up my car
She said she would under no circumstances perform reverse psychology
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jun 13 2020
What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 12 2020
Why was the chicken held in contempt of court?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 18 2020
Interesting advice
π︎ 23
π
︎ Nov 28 2019
Do you want to hear a mean joke?
A physicist, an engineer and a statistician go on a hunting trip. They see a deer in a clearing. The physicist calculates the distance to the target, the velocity and drop of the bullet, he fires but misses five feet to the left.
The engineer says he forgot to account for the wind, takes the rifle, aims and misses five feet to the right. The statistician claps and says "we got him!".
π︎ 654
π
︎ Nov 19 2018
My friend asked me how I come up with so many erectile dysfunction jokes.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Apr 16 2020
What do you call a depressed traffic jam?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jan 07 2020
This morning I asked my wife like a reporter, "The world wants to know, what it's like being married to the funniest man alive?"
She said, "Meh."
So I immediately said, "You heard it here, folks, it's a meh zing."
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 17 2020
If you ever miss 4:20, just wait until 4:22 comes, because 4:22 is 4:20 too
π︎ 365
π
︎ Jun 30 2018
I strip wires for a living.
Itβs not a glamorous job, but at least I can make ends meet.
π︎ 50
π
︎ Aug 05 2019
Thought this belonged here
π︎ 19
π
︎ Apr 26 2019
Who is my dad?
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Sep 10 2016
[Request] Cone-Based Band Names
I'm looking for band names that involve the word cone (specifically traffic cones). A few examples I have come up with are "The Rolling Cones," "Earth Wind and Cone," and "The Conas Brothers." I'm sure there are lots of good ones that I'm not thinking of.
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 11 2018
Dark humor is like a pair of legs
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jun 26 2019
My grandparents disowned me after I joined the trades as a brick-layer.
They eventually reconciled after I got a promotion, but still consider me as a meh-son.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 10 2020
Mediocre Dad joke
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 07 2019
This is absolutely horrible
Why did the shower head do drugs
peer PRESSURE
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 13 2019
What did Julius Ceasar say after a disappointing sip of his overly sweet orange juice?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 27 2020
Where do you go for an average vacation
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 19 2018
Be polite when eating a French sandwìch
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 12 2019
What type of cereal does my nan eat?
π︎ 24
π
︎ Jan 25 2019
The Amish have an auto-immune disease.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 27 2018
Her: Did you just pretend to like romantic comedies when we were dating?
Me: Yes. I donβt love Love Actually actually.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 03 2019
Why should you only drink apple juice?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 13 2019
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