My dad gave me the golden dad joke medal for this one...

Me: You've heard of Murphy's Law, right?

Mum: Yeah.

Me: What is it?

Mum: It's to do with bad luck.

Me: Cool, have you heard of Cole's Law?

Mum: No. What is it?

Me: It's thinly sliced cabbage

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ryaton13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon, but wasn’t awarded a gold medal.

The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
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This dude needs a medal.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheyCallMehDavid
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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When are the dad joke medals awarded?

Post-Humorously

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πŸ‘€︎ u/auMatech
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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I am helping a gold-medal winning sprinter acheive the highest level of spiritual awareness.

...I feel like The Flash, because I too, am enlightening Bolt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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What do Russian Olympic medal winners prove to the world?

That there was Russian medaling.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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Quick, silver medal for this pun!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
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Gold medal.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AristonD
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
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Bolt crosses the Finish line to win another gold medal [2016]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_wastl
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
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I was impressed that my cousin had won a Gold Medal, until I found out that they were just raffling off bags of flour where he worked.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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This morning, I saw my dad putting a medal on our scarecrow

He said it was outstanding in it's field.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peoples888
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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What medal did the weasel war hero receive?

A badger of honor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jackovias
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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OF COURSE the gold medal swimmer from Hungary was the only person NOT to bite the medal.

I was so ready, too.

Ruined my evening.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KarockGrok
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2016
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Germany has never won a gold medal at a track event

Which is funny because they’re known for trying to finish a race.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LelPopYT
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
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What did the Russian bobsleigh team say after they were stripped of their Sochi Olympic medal?

Sometimes you win, sometimes you luge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mxwp
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2018
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In honour of Canada playing Russia in World Junior hockey this evening, I predict we will be putin on the gold medal.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SugarBear4Real
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2015
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Watching Ted Ligety's gold medal-winning Men's Giant Slalom performance just now, and my dad suddenly asks, "I hope they show some footage of Ted Ligety leaving Sochi."

"Why?" "Because I'd like to see Ligety split!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DetroitRonin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2014
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My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon, but he wasn’t given the gold medal.

The Chinese authorities refuse to recognize Ty Won.

πŸ‘︎ 686
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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My friend Ty won the Beijing marathon, but wasn’t awarded a gold medal.

The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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My friend Ty came in first in the Beijing marathon, but was not given the gold medal.

The Chinese refuse to recognize Ty won.

πŸ‘︎ 148
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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My friend Ty came first in a swimming competition in Beijing, but he wasn’t given a gold medal.

The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
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