Maturity

A pun is not fully matured....until it's full groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MilPens
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I also...

...had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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My friend just threw a lump of cheese at me.

It wasn’t very mature.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eternal_Punshine
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
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I always wait for my Dad jokes to mature.

That way they’re full groan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ruski_Oligarch
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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Glad we matured
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πŸ‘€︎ u/genesiscreation7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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How do you know when a joke is mature?

When it's full groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chairman--Meow
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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What do you call a mature dad joke?

Fully groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
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For the mature dads

How a does duck get high?

On quack

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greenpepper38
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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You know a pun is fully mature when...

You know a pun is fully mature when it is fully groan.

Stolen from the book I am currently reading, Dungeon Eternium: Divine Dungeon Series By Dakota Krout

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cooly772
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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A man threw cheese at me and I thought that’s not mature of him. He came along again and this time he threw a pint of milk at me. HOW DAIRY
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackTMJones
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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Very mature [oc]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Candlefrog_king
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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I asked my wife to say 4 things about me. She said I’m mature, I’m polite, I’m perfect, ...

....And I have no idea how apostrophes and periods work.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
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One day, as I was walking home, someone threw a block of cheese at my head. I thought-

β€œThat’s not very mature!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/quantomcatnip
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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A father, wanting to instil some manliness and maturity in his sons, brings them camping. The only food they get to eat is the food they get from the forest.

The dad splits up from the boys in the morning, leaving them the task of getting food for the day.

The boys chance upon a patch full of peas - they have enough for all three meals and to pelt each other with.

Reuniting at the end of the day, the dad asks how it went.

β€œWe played with each other’s peas!” The little one chimes in.

Just a little displeased, dad asks him sternly to clarify.

β€œWe gathered peas, he meant.” Added the middle boy.

β€œOkay, and what did you have for breakfast?”

β€œPea soup.”

β€œLunch?”

β€œPea soup.”

The boys started sniggering.

β€œWhat’s so funny? And what about dinner?”

β€œNothing dad. We had pea soup too.”

β€œWell, that doesn’t seem like much. What did you do all evening?”

Bursting out laughing, they all said:

β€œPee soup.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/neloc1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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My dad made me feel mature for like, 8 seconds...

He said: "Son now that you're older, I feel like I could use your opinion on some of my business decisions. Can I ask?"

Obviously I nodded yes.

Dad: "Well, 2 days ago I bought a couple balloons for 3 cents a piece. How much should I sell them for after adjusting for inflation?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCats_Bananas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2017
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Wifey was angry...

Wifey was angry and threw a wheel of cheddar at me.

I told her β€œThat wasn’t very mature”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chanderjeet
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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She's too mature for that kind of joke. [True story]

On Tuesday I asked my daughter a silly question. She looked at me funny and I asked, "What? Were you born yesterday?" Baby girl was born Monday. I wore that prideful grin while my wife groaned. But now... my sweet baby's outgrown the joke :(

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timeshaper
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2016
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Someone has just thrown a lump of cheese at me.

I thought to myself, that's not very mature.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hirsty19784
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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Get the handcuffs, Officer
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
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I was in the supermarket the other day when this guy threw a block of cheddar at me.

Outraged, I shouted : "Well that's not very mature is it ?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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I need to drink less... i.reddituploads.com/52b04…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WorstGabeNA
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2017
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Once there was a man who owned an orchard. He grew lots of things. Apples, pears, cherries, peaches, oranges and lemons.

The stonefruit was almost ready for harvest when he was hit with a bout of laryngitis that left him unable to talk. Despite the doctors orders for bed rest, he went into the orchard early one morning to find all of his mature peach trees had been stolen. He was peachless."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KatWayward
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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How do maple trees tell secrets?

Syruptitiously.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/3copenhaver
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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So I was walking down the road.

Walking down the road and out of nowhere a random guy threw a block of cheese at me! I said to him now that wasn’t very mature was it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CallMeMrWhite
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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Some kid just threw a lump of cheddar at me...

I thought "that's not very mature "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwiftHadoken
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
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This bloke just threw a piece of cheese at me, so I said..

..that's mature.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pooop_hard
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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Did you hear about the pirate dating simulator that was released on Steam?

It's rated ARRRRR!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clbull
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2017
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What's the difference between a joke and 3 dicks?

Your mom can't take a joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merovingian89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2017
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I was walking down the street when a group of kids threw a block of cheese off me, they burst into laughter and I yelled

β€œThat’s not mature is it”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrowerNotAShower2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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I was walking down the street the other day when this kid threw some cheese at me.

I thought, "That's not very mature."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CMH2075
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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I got out dad joked!

The missus asked me to grate some cheese for dinner tonight, I said to my son "you can do it, I'm sure you will have a grate time" The SO said "well that was abit cheesy, maybe you should be more mature and get grating"

I feel inferior now and have begun grating cheese :(

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flashdavis
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2016
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My dads favorite

Mom: you are so immature! Dad: you know what immature is? Mom: what? (Rolling eyes) Dad: I m mature! (Runs of laughing hysterically)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hoopla161
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2013
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My brother is a genius

Me and my brother both come home to find my mothers been on a shopping trip, bags of food are everywhere in the hall and alone on the stairs is a large piece of cheddar cheese. I ask why the cheese is there and my brother responds..

"Its on the naughty step, it wasn't being mature"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kiddley
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2014
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Dad joked in the airport of Singapore.

Dad: I like cheese jokes. Me: Why? Dad: Because they're more mature than milk jokes.

ahhhh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/newgreenit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2014
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Dadjoked at IHOP.

Eating at IHOP with my lady, and like the mature adults we are, we're playing tabletop football with our sugar packets. The waitress, who happens to have a Poppins-esque English accent, comes by to let us know our food will be up shortly, then says, "If you get really good, one day you might be in the sugar bowl." I have been satisfied for the rest of the day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A-town
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2015
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A pun is not completely matured...

...until it is full groan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brookesies3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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When is a dad joke mature?

When it's full groan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TJack303
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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a pun is not fully matured,

until it's full groan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasismyname_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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A guy threw a block of cheese at me in the supermarket

I said to him β€œnow that’s no very mature now is it?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Moistwee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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I was in the supermarket when a guy threw a block of cheese at me.

I looked over at him and shouted, β€œWell that’s not very mature is it??”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PringyUK
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
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My wife threw a block of cheddar at my head

I went "well that's mature"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jezzibell
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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Someone threw a block of cheese into my window

I said to myself that wasn’t very mature

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBlueJelly
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
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