There’s tons of liquidity in this market
Why didn't Aladdin buy anything at the Arabian market?
I ran over a nail and popped my tire when my wife and I left the farmers market.
I should have bought asparagus.
I proposed to my girlfriend, who is the VP of marketing at her company.
My friend asked why the stock market is closed this Friday. I looked at him, shook my head and said...
My girlfriend and I were just touring the farmer’s market - she said one of the tables had some red hot chilli peppers, and asked if I wanted some.
I said, only if they’re givin’ ‘em away, givin’ ‘em away, givin’ ‘em away now.
I just called GameStop Customer Service...
They asked me to please Hold. 💎🤲
Did you hear about the lettuce farmer who was murdered on his way to the farmers' market?
They found his romaines at the scene of the crime.
Why did the bored guy walk to the fish market.
I wasn't impressed with the ketchup manufacturer's market research.
They had terrible sauces.
I made a FORTUNE in the stock market.
I walked in and stole some guy's Rolex.
Why is being a sleep analyst considered one of the toughest jobs in the market?
You work with your eyes closed
A son enthusiastically asks his father will he teach him how to gamble on the black market
The Father responds with: “You bet your ass!”
What do you call someone from Florida with lots of teeth who likes to spend money on the stock market?
They told me not to invest in the stock market..
Why did people loose so much money in derivative products and markets.
Because they had no option.
Just heard there is a geezer down the market selling Oxford vaccination for £2 each
The first time I saw her, at her honey stall at the farmers market, I knew right away...
so anyway im switching my major to marketing...
just a few hours ago my brother was talking about buying cinnamon rolls from his english teacher who bakes and sells it on instagram as a side hustle and i said IF SHES AN ENGLISH TEACHER SHE SHOULD CALL THEM SYNONYM ROLLS and honestly im super proud
People ask me why I keep bring my sled to places like yard sales and the flea market
I tell them the answer is simple...Toboggan!
I finally went to talk to the super cute girl who works in the Egyptian super market.
Her: What can I do for you?
Me: I'm looking for a date.
Her: Oh, what kind of dates?
Me: Uhmm, just dinner and a movie :)
My wife didn’t like my idea to market a line of belts with little clocks built into the buckle.
She said it was a waist of time.
What do you call finding cheap eyeballs on the black market
Whats the worst crime to occur at a fish market?
A peasant's wife told him to go get milk for the baby. Dutifully, he went to the market with the baby and brought home a hefty jug of milk. "You've forgotten the baby!" she exclaimed.
"No I haven't... I got milk for the baby!"
Do you remember when you were a kid and whenever you cried, your parents would say, “I’ll give you a reason to cry!?" I always thought they were going to hit me...
...not that they were going to destroy the housing market 20 years later.
A man can fly
So there was a man and woman at a bar. The man says "I bet you 5 bucks this magic water will make me fly!" the woman clearly didn't believe him so she accepted the bet. Sure enough the man jumps off the roof and flies for a bit until he gently goes back to the ground. The girl was amazed! She said "You should market this stuff." "You could make millions!" Still in shock she asks for a drink. She takes a swig and a small crowd forms because this girl is about to jump off of a building. She jumps off and falls onto the pavement. The guy is laughing his head off. Suddenly someone shouts from the crowd "You're a mean drunk superman!"
I'm closely watching how this contested election affects the volatility of the stock markets.
I call it the "Al Gore Rhythm" method.
Why does the Dalai Lama love to play the stock market?
Why’s Tesla so expensive?
Because they charge a lot
I've decided to invest all my money in soup stocks
I want to be a bouillonaire.
Today, I asked who left their cold-smoked herrings on the ground at the market but no one answered.
Did you hear about the man selling bicycle parts?
He went into the market to peddle his wares.
I just wish, that I had made early investments in hand sanitizer, on the Stock Markets..
.. Somebody, somewhere, is rubbing their hands together.
The stock market is confusing for me but
It makes cents for someone else
Coronavirus having a devastating impact on the stock market
We went to a new market today for the first time. Dad was very impressed.
He said, “You’re telling me a flea runs this market?!”
My wife and I went down to the seafood market, but I didn't trust the employees there.
They seemed a little fishy.
I got kicked out of the Farmer’s Market today.
I was disturbing the peas.
Corona is taking "viral marketing" too literally
The new campaign is a killer
While shopping my wife stopped in the make-up section to buy concealer but couldn’t find any.
I now understand why she said it’s the best product on the market.
Had some friends over and they were telling me they are in the market for a new telescope...
I told them “ be carful telescope salesmen can see you coming a mile away!”
Just heard there's a guy down Borough market selling Oxford vaccinations for £2 each...
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