When people think of calculators they think the buttons are the most important thing

But it's what's inside that counts

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hungrysamy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
Super important
πŸ‘︎ 243
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Knightlocke3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
Dad jokes are important

They are a big part of pop culture

πŸ‘︎ 590
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πŸ‘€︎ u/its-a-joke--chill
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
My brother and I had an argument as to which is the most important vowel.

I won.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
Do you know why it's important to keep someone in a state of suspense?

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I'll take my leave

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/grimgamertv
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30
🚨︎ report
I have finally made it

I have two kids, a three year old daughter and a one year old son. Today as we were driving home, my daughter said for the first time β€œdad I’m hungry” and I felt the power course through my veins knowing I was about to reach the pinnacle of existence. I delivered the revered line and my wife just looked at me and I knew I had achieved everything in life.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sageyban
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
I work at a store that sells imported prosthetic limbs.

I never though I'd grow up to be an international arms dealer.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 27
🚨︎ report
These are very important lab-reports
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_like_miniwheats
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
Fire is important, but...

Fire does not matter

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/poop_assassin123
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
Import-ant pun
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hesso921
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
It's always important to do an operational check of your tools.
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Buwaro
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17
🚨︎ report
Careful reading of labels is so important...

I just bought paper trowels and they're useless.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaenHoffiCoffi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20
🚨︎ report
But that’s not important right now
πŸ‘︎ 990
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πŸ‘€︎ u/originalripley
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
The Semi colon is an important part of what?

The Semi-truck’s digestive system

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ra1ds4ad0w
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
🚨︎ report
Important information

Aruba - Cherry Pie $3.45

Bahamas - Apple Pie $2.75

Jamaica - Key Lime Pie $3.34

Saint Croix - Lemon Pie $4.21

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MobileBrowns
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
Important

Can you guys put dad jokes in the comments I need material for my friends to make them not like me alot more (I'm basically the dad in our group of friends, mostly the mom)

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Therealblue29
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
🚨︎ report
My dentist asked me if I had any questions before he started. I thought for a minute, then asked, "If oral hygiene is so important, why do you..."

"...have plaque on your wall?"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
My wife and I had a long argument as to which vowel is the most important.

I think I won.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05
🚨︎ report
You got that right
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
As we continue to deal with the mask wearing, social distancing and uncertainty through the coming weeks, we can’t lose sight of how important it is to continue taking these precautions.

As much as it sucks, it’s better to be safe than SARS-y

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hashsmasher
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
Some important advice for Corona virus:

When you wash your hands, make sure every area is COVID.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ICTman1076
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
🚨︎ report
We imported a tree from Canada.

It's pretty oak, eh.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/desireewhitehall
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Always important to bee yourself
πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JuBjUb1121
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Can we all just pause? This is very important (I had to cross-post this)
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yoofraj
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I watched Bohemian Rhapsody three times in a row, and now I feel a little sick.

Must be the high Mercury content.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
🚨︎ report
Important: Help me name my plush neuron!

I got a plush neuron for Christmas and I’m having trouble coming up with a cute, punny name for it! Any ideas?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hopere
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I heard the Sunni Islamics have blocked the import of drying cloths into our country.

Damn towel ban!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shopcounterwill
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
🚨︎ report
Its important to keep some candy in your pocket at all times.

It could be a lifesaver.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotter66
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I forgot to pay an important bill, but my wife also forgot

It was a real economic co-lapse

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadlifememes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
🚨︎ report
Q. What's the most important thing you can do with crude oil?

A. Teach it proper manners!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
I just had an half hour argument with my 5 year old about the importance of wearing pants in public, and she won.

So today I’m wearing pants to take her to school.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
🚨︎ report
My Dad said it was always important to make a good impression at the start of a job interview...

So whenever I went for one I always entered the room saying β€œNice to see you, to see you....”. Only once did someone respond.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I learned an important historical lesson after I visited Mount Rushmore.

The best American Presidents were stoned.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Vegeta say when he couldn't understand Goku?

"What are you Saiyan?"

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DesertWolf45
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
Tea is an important part of Britain

Because without it, Britain would be Briain

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Soleimani must have been a pretty important guy...

He blew up overnight

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LilPaycheck69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
My friend gave me his Epi-Pen as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it.
πŸ‘︎ 704
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZVan12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I don't get it, why is it so important for Christians to have 'K' and 'M' next to each other at Christmas?

I mean every other song "No L, No L!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robeh002
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the small fish say to his friend after he told him something important?

Thanks for letting minnow

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lZombieChaserl
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Equality is important!
πŸ‘︎ 99
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisparton1991
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Men are important in Hispanic countries

Because without them, there would only be panic.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/G1njaN1nja05
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm pretty sure that this car is imported because it's a
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/denman420
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My grandpa always told me there are two important rules in life:

1: Never give out all the information.

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I told my wife about the importance of prep-work when refinishing furniture...

Now she thinks I'm in love with a stripper.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/falsenorth
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Important lab results
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/withmoxie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
got fired from a newspaper company for forgetting important text.
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iDarqq
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
When drinking spirits, it’s important to be responsible.

Otherwise you’re decisions could come back to haunt you.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LyricalWillow
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What was a more important invention than the first telephone?

The second one.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
The jacket fought the pants over who was more important to the suit...

It ended up a tie

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
It's important that your first tattoo is something that means A Lot.
πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aurelienne
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2018
🚨︎ report
My grandfather was captured by the Germans in WWII. Being a high-ranking officer, they kept him captive for months but all he would do is sit in his cell saying "tick... tick... tick...". Their top interrogator was sent in to get important information out of him...

When in the interrogation room, he told my grandfather

"vee haf vays of making you tock!"

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FaultyData
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
The commenter's name is important
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChickSquid
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Chemistry class left the most important elements!!
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Slothstan1995
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
When an ant travels from one country to another country, it’s important.
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pranavgayatri
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
The jacket fought the shirt over who was more important to the suit.

It ended up a tie

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/petsarenice
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is knowing algebra so important?

So you know (Y) (X) is gon give it to ya.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thepootastrophy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Marijuana causes users to become so mellow that they may lose all interest in things that are important. It's a tension deficit disorder.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FreakyStarrbies
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I'll try to cell this one too you...

What did the cell say to it's sibling when she stepped on his toe?

My toe sis...

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OffDutyTaoist
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
🚨︎ report
After a world-renowned athlete lost an important match, his wife suggested that in the future he wear a pair of her panties in his shoes for good luck to boost his confidence.

He’s been undie-feeted ever since.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/beeeeen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I'd like to illustrate two important points

. .

Thank you

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shaggyuc
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Most important question to ask when shoe shopping
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
They say that the most important part of a joke is timing...

...But I've always thought it was pun-tuality.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HyruleTrigger
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
"Dad, I have something important to tell you"

......🎩
......πŸ‘‚
..πŸ‘‚πŸ‘‚πŸ‘‚
πŸ‘‚. πŸ‘‚. πŸ‘‚
πŸ‘‚. πŸ‘‚. πŸ‘‚
....πŸ‘‚πŸ‘‚
...πŸ‘‚.. πŸ‘‚
...πŸ‘‚.. πŸ‘‚
...πŸ‘ž.. πŸ‘ž

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HardlightCereal
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Garbage Public Service Announcement

It's very important to make sure that one always has a trash can at one's disposal.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fisherkingpoet
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
On the way to an important meeting and my watch stopped working

I've got no time for this

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Whats the most important part of the human body?

The legs... they carry the most weight.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/El_sturro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Most people don’t understand how important genetics plays into our children’s development.

And that’s why children will always pay for the β€œshins of their father.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wyllyam1111
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an elephant that just isn't very important?

Irrelephant

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brick_in_the_dbol
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
When I turned into a teenager, my dad repeatedly emphasized the importance of using a condom whenever I have sex.

He said, β€œAnyone who would sleep with you would sleep with almost anyone else.”

πŸ‘︎ 178
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife and I were arguing about which vowel was most important.

I won.

πŸ‘︎ 93
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Every day, my professor starts her class by reading to us the important news of the day. Today she didn’t show up.

So a subreddit.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Siri kept calling me Shirley this morning. I was starting to get really pissed off, and then I realized why...

I left my phone in Airplane mode

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Thousands of years ago, the boomerang was Australia’s only export.

And import.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 04
🚨︎ report
What three things are most important to bats about their local real estate?

Echolocation Echolocation Echolocation

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChrisCGCThree
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm an audiophile and my gf wanted to try polyamory.

I said nah. Fidelity is important to me.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/luxxanoir
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
It doesn't mean much to be important.

The most important person at a funeral is dead.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Periods are important.
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FirstlawGaming
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I have an important meeting at the bank this week...

If it goes well all my money troubles will be over.

I'm so excited I can hardly put on my balaclava.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NZOC
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Wife: I have a couple of important announcements to make..

Wife: First: I’m pregnant.

Husband: Hi pregnant,I’m dad.

Wife: second: no you’re not.

πŸ‘︎ 180
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/El_Chapo0
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
🚨︎ report
True
πŸ‘︎ 123
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kavate
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I made my son sit through a 1 hour long PowerPoint presentation titled "The utmost importance of wearing a condom".

All the slides were just photos of him.

πŸ‘︎ 81
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slavameba
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman.

A good example: β€œI used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday!”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
An apple fell on my head, but I didn't think it was important.

Clearly I didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sublimiacures
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What is big, grey and not very important? .

An irrelephant

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ihasanali
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Australians are importing kitchen worktops from the UK...

....they call them pommigranites.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
"Son, you should never share important secrets on a farm."

"The corn has ears and the potatoes have eyes."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ImNotABean
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife and I had a long argument about which vowel is the most important.

I think I won.

πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What was a more important invention than the first telephone?

The second one.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
The jacket fought the shirt over who was more important to the suit.

It ended up a tie

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/petsarenice
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
How do we call an elephant that is not important?

Irrelephant

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cedrak
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What was more important than the invention of the telephone?

The second one.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pandaflesh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
🚨︎ report

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