I just wish, that I had made early investments in hand sanitizer, on the Stock Markets..
.. Somebody, somewhere, is rubbing their hands together.
Why does the Dalai Lama love to play the stock market?
There's a new edible horn on the market.
Today, I asked who left their cold-smoked herrings on the ground at the market but no one answered.
The stock market is confusing for me but
It makes cents for someone else
I got kicked out of the Farmer’s Market today.
I was disturbing the peas.
We went to a new market today for the first time. Dad was very impressed.
He said, “You’re telling me a flea runs this market?!”
Who has the worst ad-vice?
My wife and I went down to the seafood market, but I didn't trust the employees there.
They seemed a little fishy.
Had some friends over and they were telling me they are in the market for a new telescope...
I told them “ be carful telescope salesmen can see you coming a mile away!”
Coronavirus having a devastating impact on the stock market
It makes sense that Ford is struggling in the US market
They just lost their Focus
Apparently, there's a big market for an expensive breed of cow that only eats marijuana plants.
Did you hear that Tesla is entering the lifestyle brand market with a new cologne?
Corona is taking "viral marketing" too literally
The new campaign is a killer
Gonna brew and market my own beer, and call it “Responsibly.”
Advertising slogan will be a doddle: “Please drink Responsibly.”
Dubstep keeps playing at the fisher’s market.
Honestly, people need to stop dropping the bass.
With market going into recession
Is it crude to make oil jokes now ?
May the sales force be with you.
Q: Why doesn’t Darth Vader hire storm troopers to do his marketing?
A: Because they are always missing their sales targets!
I heard Apple are trying to seize the market on immaterial groups of dolphins
I think they called them airpods
What’s the most effective marketing strategy to sell audio books?
If you are feeling lonely during the lockdown, try buying a few shares from the financial market.
Then you’ll have a little bit of company.
I’m ready to bring my injectable coronavirus cleansers and gamma-ray beds to market
This is going to make a killing
I just invested in a company that will pay me to keep t-bones and rib-eyes in my freezer to sell when the market improves...
This Is A Paid advertisement: Have a home project you’re working on? For a limited time, Lowes Home Improvement is now selling Levels 2 for the price of 1!
So My Cat....
So My Cat Had A Bug In Him And I Asked Him Where He Got It And He Said The Flea Market!
I've been in the market for a new whiteboard, but I don't think I can trust the online reviews.
They all say the product is remarkable.
My local meat market is offering Wookie meat
Between the free falling stock markets, the Covid 19 pandemic, and locusts in Africa, there is one silver lining.
At least tomorrow isn’t Friday the thirteen... yikes!
My friend is trying to market his design for an invisible aeroplane.
I can’t see it taking off.
I just asked my dad to give me a crash course on the stock market
He said, “Well it’s crashing on course right now.”
Stock markets plunge over Coronavirus fears, some portfolios hit more than others..
... Mainly Spread markets.
Found at a local World Market
This year is a godsend for every optometrist's social media marketing campaign.
What happened to the lions neck at the Chinese market?
Is there an underground, black-market for toilet paper?
The market right now reminds me of that N'SYNC song
Hydroponic herb growers are the next big thing in the stock market!
Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”.
So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.
The stock market probably do better in the winter...
More people have colds = more people eating soup.
The bass player of Red Hot Chili Peppers opened a second hand store
They're calling it the Flea Market
Did you hear about Mcdonald's trying to get into the steakhouse market?
Wife and I got a flat tire driving back from the farmer’s market
I should have bought asparagus
Two Irishmen rob a grocery store of a pallet of exotic macadamia nuts to sell on the black market. They begin to argue about where to take the pallet when the passenger says "You're driving me nuts!" The driver replies..
Ever noticed that every market in Africa... is a black market
The baby donkey market is not appealing to sellers
The baby donkey market is difficult to get into and takes a lot of work because it's a small-ass business.
Landed this in a text message thread to my SO
SO (at the market) : What kind of coffee beans do you want?
Me: Anything that doesn't say dark roast
SO: OMG! Hold the phone, I may have found something amazing!
Me: Fun fact, I am already holding the phone.
An aspiring beekeeper went to a farmer’s market to pick up a small hive. They placed an order for a dozen bees. When picking up the bees, the seller handed them a case of thirteen bees. Noticing the extra bee, the keeper pointed it out to the seller.
The seller said, “Oh, that last one is a freebee!”
My friend must have been deafened by all the noise at the fish market...
You had to yell when you spoke to him; he was hard of herring.
Whenever I see the stock market about to crash
I yell out ENNNNRONIIIING!!!!
Glass urns coming to the market now. How well they will sell? Remains to be seen.
I wrote a book about the most comfortable ways to sleep in a coffin.
They wouldn't publish it though, the publisher said that the intended audience was a dead market.
I met a real nice vendor at a farmer's market, he was promoting this.
Alcatraz is going on the market.
I hear that Audi is going to rename their pickups for the US market by calling it the Audi Pardner.
I'm going to market a new organic fertilizer made from 100% male chicken manure. It will be sold as
Why did the DJ go to the farmers' market?
I work at a farmer's market.
I'd say that makes me a profreshinal.
What do you call it when a marketing genius is comfortable in bed?
I just started buying stock from the market
I have beef, chicken, and vegetable.
One day I hope to be bouillonaire.
Why couldn't the man locate the bazaar on the map?
Because he forgot to market
Where does a dog go to buy black market goods?
What's the cheapest thing you can buy in the meat market?
A deer testicle because it's under a buck.
Why did the fisherman go to the market
Why did the fisherman go to the market?
For the halibut.
I've been watching the market closely and I think I'll invest heavily in ketchup next year...
Yeah, my Heinz sight is 2020.
What did the Spanish Lady say to her friend when she went to the market?
Aaa..me go Doubling down to the City.
I’ve noticed recently that socks are costing less and less
Seems like the sock market has crashed
There’s a shifty seafood market near my house.
A lot of fishy stuff goes down there.
"Hey honey did you hear they came out with a male birth control cream?"
It's being marketed as Son-block.
What is the most exotic car on the market?
Hyundai, because it has an accent
The housing market is really pumped up these days
A blind man walks by a fish market. What does he say?
there's literally three sets of twins in my math class.
guess this year is gonna be their year- its twinny twinny after all.
*twinny twinny sounds like twenty twenty (2020)*
A have a pet bird of prey that can come up with marketing strategies without any preparation!
Why did the buffalo go to the market?
This business has a Nietzhche market.
[Request] Can anyone please help me come up with a business name that is a Bob's Burgers-level pun?
The neighboring store front and exterminator van in the opening credits have the best punny business names and always crack me up. I'm a fan and would love to name my business in a similar fashion. ETA Examples: I'd Hit That Boxing Gym. Lady and the Clamp, Hardware for Her. A Fridge Too Far. Cupid's Stupid, Divorce Attorneys. A Ton in the Oven, Big and Tall Baby Clothes.
Let's Scissor! Collage Studio. Don't Stop Bereaving, Grief Counseling.
But I am So. Stuck.
A little background about my business idea: I'm a personal/sometimes virtual assistant specializing in household admin and management. I'm marketing mostly towards blue collar men who might be widows/divorcees who never had to worry about the general finances and household paperwork. Some of the services offered are: budget setting, bill paying, appointment setting/calendar management, travel arrangements, errands, personal & grocery shopping, pet & house sitting, etc...
I'm ready to take the next steps in making this
... keep reading on reddit ➡
Shopping at foreign outdoor markets
Deers’ balls are the cheapest animal part on the market for a reason
They’re always under a buck
What do you call an alligator from the stock market?
(A retouch on an older joke)
Who is the best dressed vegetable in the market?
Though, you should see the dress his girlfriend wore. It was radishing!
My wife wanted me to attend a flea market this weekend that only deals with Middle Eastern items...
I thought hmmm.... that’s bazaar.
I wonder if all those piggies were on their way to market?
My wife said she wants to buy a fancy pillowcase at the flea market
I told her careful it might be a sham
I thought about buying an ice cream truck and starting up my own business
But I heard the ice cream market is a rocky road
I just started buying stock from the market
I have beef chicken,and vegetable.one day I hope to be a bouillonaire