I just wish, that I had made early investments in hand sanitizer, on the Stock Markets..

.. Somebody, somewhere, is rubbing their hands together.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27
🚨︎ report
Why does the Dalai Lama love to play the stock market?

He loves Tibet.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10
🚨︎ report
There's a new edible horn on the market.

The Snaxophone.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16
🚨︎ report
Market research.
πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01
🚨︎ report
Today, I asked who left their cold-smoked herrings on the ground at the market but no one answered.

Well, finders kippers.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wilackan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23
🚨︎ report
The stock market is confusing for me but

It makes cents for someone else

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrdangwangpang
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03
🚨︎ report
I got kicked out of the Farmer’s Market today.

I was disturbing the peas.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26
🚨︎ report
We went to a new market today for the first time. Dad was very impressed.

He said, β€œYou’re telling me a flea runs this market?!”

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NotMikeLeach
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18
🚨︎ report
Who has the worst ad-vice?

Marketers 🀠

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MartinsChair
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08
🚨︎ report
My wife and I went down to the seafood market, but I didn't trust the employees there.

They seemed a little fishy.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Craftninja7
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07
🚨︎ report
Had some friends over and they were telling me they are in the market for a new telescope...

I told them β€œ be carful telescope salesmen can see you coming a mile away!”

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HalfBakedPotato84
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18
🚨︎ report
Coronavirus having a devastating impact on the stock market
πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/falafel_hotdog
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
🚨︎ report
It makes sense that Ford is struggling in the US market

They just lost their Focus

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pinpineapplepin
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
Apparently, there's a big market for an expensive breed of cow that only eats marijuana plants.

The steaks are high.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JuicyPotato21
πŸ“…︎ May 27
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that Tesla is entering the lifestyle brand market with a new cologne?

Elon Musk.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/prendrefeu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30
🚨︎ report
Corona is taking "viral marketing" too literally

The new campaign is a killer

πŸ‘︎ 156
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
Gonna brew and market my own beer, and call it β€œResponsibly.”

Advertising slogan will be a doddle: β€œPlease drink Responsibly.”

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
Dubstep keeps playing at the fisher’s market.

Honestly, people need to stop dropping the bass.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
With market going into recession

Is it crude to make oil jokes now ?

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bruh-sick
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
May the sales force be with you.

Q: Why doesn’t Darth Vader hire storm troopers to do his marketing?

A: Because they are always missing their sales targets!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13
🚨︎ report
I heard Apple are trying to seize the market on immaterial groups of dolphins

I think they called them airpods

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HJMW08
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
Beefed up
πŸ‘︎ 193
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SpivLife
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
🚨︎ report
β€ͺWhat’s the most effective marketing strategy to sell audio books?‬

Word of mouth‬

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
If you are feeling lonely during the lockdown, try buying a few shares from the financial market.

Then you’ll have a little bit of company.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
I’m ready to bring my injectable coronavirus cleansers and gamma-ray beds to market

This is going to make a killing

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kjpunch
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
🚨︎ report
I just invested in a company that will pay me to keep t-bones and rib-eyes in my freezer to sell when the market improves...

I'm a steak-holder.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
🚨︎ report
This Is A Paid advertisement: Have a home project you’re working on? For a limited time, Lowes Home Improvement is now selling Levels 2 for the price of 1!

Multi-level marketing

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BHarcade
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28
🚨︎ report
So My Cat....

So My Cat Had A Bug In Him And I Asked Him Where He Got It And He Said The Flea Market!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Matt4307
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16
🚨︎ report
I've been in the market for a new whiteboard, but I don't think I can trust the online reviews.

They all say the product is remarkable.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
My local meat market is offering Wookie meat

it's chewy

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bibs4353
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
🚨︎ report
Between the free falling stock markets, the Covid 19 pandemic, and locusts in Africa, there is one silver lining.

At least tomorrow isn’t Friday the thirteen... yikes!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
My friend is trying to market his design for an invisible aeroplane.

I can’t see it taking off.

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Titsonafish
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I just asked my dad to give me a crash course on the stock market

He said, β€œWell it’s crashing on course right now.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KugelBlitzSparks
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23
🚨︎ report
Stock markets plunge over Coronavirus fears, some portfolios hit more than others..

... Mainly Spread markets.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
🚨︎ report
Found at a local World Market
πŸ‘︎ 81
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hamderber
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
This year is a godsend for every optometrist's social media marketing campaign.
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ass-with-class
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
What happened to the lions neck at the Chinese market?

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TSRshiku
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
🚨︎ report
Is there an underground, black-market for toilet paper?

A "Brown Market?"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
Oh Dusty.
πŸ‘︎ 39k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/galacticgoosebump
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
The market right now reminds me of that N'SYNC song

#BUYBUYBUY

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quasar226
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29
🚨︎ report
Hydroponic herb growers are the next big thing in the stock market!

Thyme is money.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Scribbler
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
Somebody should market a beer called β€œOccasionally”.

So when asked, I can say, β€œI only drink occasionally”.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
🚨︎ report
The stock market probably do better in the winter...

More people have colds = more people eating soup.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dontb3jelous
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
The bass player of Red Hot Chili Peppers opened a second hand store

They're calling it the Flea Market

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about Mcdonald's trying to get into the steakhouse market?

It was a big McSteak.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
Wife and I got a flat tire driving back from the farmer’s market

I should have bought asparagus

πŸ‘︎ 189
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Two Irishmen rob a grocery store of a pallet of exotic macadamia nuts to sell on the black market. They begin to argue about where to take the pallet when the passenger says "You're driving me nuts!" The driver replies..

YOUR NUTS?!?!?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/valonnyc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
🚨︎ report
Ever noticed that every market in Africa... is a black market
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/klatkasalowa5
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
The baby donkey market is not appealing to sellers

The baby donkey market is difficult to get into and takes a lot of work because it's a small-ass business.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Fat_Hydra
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Landed this in a text message thread to my SO

SO (at the market) : What kind of coffee beans do you want?

Me: Anything that doesn't say dark roast

SO: OMG! Hold the phone, I may have found something amazing!

Me: Fun fact, I am already holding the phone.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ScotchHarbour
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16
🚨︎ report
An aspiring beekeeper went to a farmer’s market to pick up a small hive. They placed an order for a dozen bees. When picking up the bees, the seller handed them a case of thirteen bees. Noticing the extra bee, the keeper pointed it out to the seller.

The seller said, β€œOh, that last one is a freebee!”

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gothwhopper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend must have been deafened by all the noise at the fish market...

You had to yell when you spoke to him; he was hard of herring.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Whenever I see the stock market about to crash

I yell out ENNNNRONIIIING!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cjjsteen3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Glass urns coming to the market now. How well they will sell? Remains to be seen.
πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gr8prajwalb
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I wrote a book about the most comfortable ways to sleep in a coffin.

They wouldn't publish it though, the publisher said that the intended audience was a dead market.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrsNacho8000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24
🚨︎ report
I met a real nice vendor at a farmer's market, he was promoting this.
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/megabits
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2017
🚨︎ report
Alcatraz is going on the market.

It's a tough cell.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyeyedmcgee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I hear that Audi is going to rename their pickups for the US market by calling it the Audi Pardner.
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chrisatlake
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm going to market a new organic fertilizer made from 100% male chicken manure. It will be sold as

Cockadoodle-do-do.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the DJ go to the farmers' market?

To get some fresh beets.

πŸ‘︎ 95
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/litig8tor
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I work at a farmer's market.

I'd say that makes me a profreshinal.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsKilLikeMine
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a marketing genius is comfortable in bed?

Koshy

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1-sh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I just started buying stock from the market

I have beef, chicken, and vegetable.

One day I hope to be bouillonaire.

πŸ‘︎ 101
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tj_xraybanvision
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the man locate the bazaar on the map?

Because he forgot to market

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06
🚨︎ report
Where does a dog go to buy black market goods?

The bark web

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FetusPicatta
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the cheapest thing you can buy in the meat market?

A deer testicle because it's under a buck.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SkyStar1991
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the fisherman go to the market

Why did the fisherman go to the market?

For the halibut.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tydorstus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I've been watching the market closely and I think I'll invest heavily in ketchup next year...

Yeah, my Heinz sight is 2020.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Spanish Lady say to her friend when she went to the market?

Aaa..me go Doubling down to the City.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hentaisianbloke
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Vegetable Market
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/happy_anand
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve noticed recently that socks are costing less and less

Seems like the sock market has crashed

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OdaDdaT
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
There’s a shifty seafood market near my house.

A lot of fishy stuff goes down there.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report
"Hey honey did you hear they came out with a male birth control cream?"

It's being marketed as Son-block.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SerbianTarHeel
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
Great Marketing
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMightyHawk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
🚨︎ report
What is the most exotic car on the market?

Hyundai, because it has an accent

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report
The housing market is really pumped up these days
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mynameisseanm
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
A blind man walks by a fish market. What does he say?

Hello ladies!

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wise_Guy_Plato
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2017
🚨︎ report
there's literally three sets of twins in my math class.

guess this year is gonna be their year- its twinny twinny after all.

*twinny twinny sounds like twenty twenty (2020)*

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/downtothechateau
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A have a pet bird of prey that can come up with marketing strategies without any preparation!

We call him "Ad Hawk"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BunzarTheFuzzy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the buffalo go to the market?

To bison goods.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ConstableBrew
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
🚨︎ report
This business has a Nietzhche market.
πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
🚨︎ report
[Request] Can anyone please help me come up with a business name that is a Bob's Burgers-level pun?

The neighboring store front and exterminator van in the opening credits have the best punny business names and always crack me up. I'm a fan and would love to name my business in a similar fashion. ETA Examples: I'd Hit That Boxing Gym. Lady and the Clamp, Hardware for Her. A Fridge Too Far. Cupid's Stupid, Divorce Attorneys. A Ton in the Oven, Big and Tall Baby Clothes. Let's Scissor! Collage Studio. Don't Stop Bereaving, Grief Counseling.

But I am So. Stuck.

A little background about my business idea: I'm a personal/sometimes virtual assistant specializing in household admin and management. I'm marketing mostly towards blue collar men who might be widows/divorcees who never had to worry about the general finances and household paperwork. Some of the services offered are: budget setting, bill paying, appointment setting/calendar management, travel arrangements, errands, personal & grocery shopping, pet & house sitting, etc...

I'm ready to take the next steps in making this

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EmElleGee31
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
🚨︎ report
Shopping at foreign outdoor markets

Is just bazaar.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Serinitatis
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Deers’ balls are the cheapest animal part on the market for a reason

They’re always under a buck

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mrj760
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an alligator from the stock market?

An investigator.

(A retouch on an older joke)

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UltimatePleb
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Who is the best dressed vegetable in the market?

Collard Greens.

Though, you should see the dress his girlfriend wore. It was radishing!

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife wanted me to attend a flea market this weekend that only deals with Middle Eastern items...

I thought hmmm.... that’s bazaar.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AFOpie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
🚨︎ report
I wonder if all those piggies were on their way to market?
πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Niffer13
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife said she wants to buy a fancy pillowcase at the flea market

I told her careful it might be a sham

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wenzdaynighter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
🚨︎ report
I thought about buying an ice cream truck and starting up my own business

But I heard the ice cream market is a rocky road

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KnightAngelic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I just started buying stock from the market

I have beef chicken,and vegetable.one day I hope to be a bouillonaire

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eisenhower_is_dad
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
🚨︎ report

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