Why didn't Aladdin buy anything at the Arabian market?
I ran over a nail and popped my tire when my wife and I left the farmers market.
I should have bought asparagus.
I proposed to my girlfriend, who is the VP of marketing at her company.
My friend asked why the stock market is closed this Friday. I looked at him, shook my head and said...
My girlfriend and I were just touring the farmer’s market - she said one of the tables had some red hot chilli peppers, and asked if I wanted some.
I said, only if they’re givin’ ‘em away, givin’ ‘em away, givin’ ‘em away now.
Did you hear about the lettuce farmer who was murdered on his way to the farmers' market?
They found his romaines at the scene of the crime.
Why did the bored guy walk to the fish market.
I wasn't impressed with the ketchup manufacturer's market research.
They had terrible sauces.
I made a FORTUNE in the stock market.
I walked in and stole some guy's Rolex.
Why is being a sleep analyst considered one of the toughest jobs in the market?
You work with your eyes closed
A son enthusiastically asks his father will he teach him how to gamble on the black market
The Father responds with: “You bet your ass!”
They told me not to invest in the stock market..
What do you call someone from Florida with lots of teeth who likes to spend money on the stock market?
Just heard there is a geezer down the market selling Oxford vaccination for £2 each
The first time I saw her, at her honey stall at the farmers market, I knew right away...
People ask me why I keep bring my sled to places like yard sales and the flea market
I tell them the answer is simple...Toboggan!
I finally went to talk to the super cute girl who works in the Egyptian super market.
Her: What can I do for you?
Me: I'm looking for a date.
Her: Oh, what kind of dates?
Me: Uhmm, just dinner and a movie :)
My wife didn’t like my idea to market a line of belts with little clocks built into the buckle.
She said it was a waist of time.
What do you call finding cheap eyeballs on the black market
Whats the worst crime to occur at a fish market?
A peasant's wife told him to go get milk for the baby. Dutifully, he went to the market with the baby and brought home a hefty jug of milk. "You've forgotten the baby!" she exclaimed.
"No I haven't... I got milk for the baby!"
I'm closely watching how this contested election affects the volatility of the stock markets.
I call it the "Al Gore Rhythm" method.
Why does the Dalai Lama love to play the stock market?
Today, I asked who left their cold-smoked herrings on the ground at the market but no one answered.
I just wish, that I had made early investments in hand sanitizer, on the Stock Markets..
.. Somebody, somewhere, is rubbing their hands together.
The stock market is confusing for me but
It makes cents for someone else
Coronavirus having a devastating impact on the stock market
We went to a new market today for the first time. Dad was very impressed.
He said, “You’re telling me a flea runs this market?!”
My wife and I went down to the seafood market, but I didn't trust the employees there.
They seemed a little fishy.
I got kicked out of the Farmer’s Market today.
I was disturbing the peas.
Do you remember when you were a kid and whenever you cried, your parents would say, “I’ll give you a reason to cry!?" I always thought they were going to hit me...
...not that they were going to destroy the housing market 20 years later.
Had some friends over and they were telling me they are in the market for a new telescope...
I told them “ be carful telescope salesmen can see you coming a mile away!”
It makes sense that Ford is struggling in the US market
They just lost their Focus
Did you hear about the man selling bicycle parts?
He went into the market to peddle his wares.
Did you hear that Tesla is entering the lifestyle brand market with a new cologne?
Dubstep keeps playing at the fisher’s market.
Honestly, people need to stop dropping the bass.
What’s the most effective marketing strategy to sell audio books?
I heard Apple are trying to seize the market on immaterial groups of dolphins
I think they called them airpods
If you are feeling lonely during the lockdown, try buying a few shares from the financial market.
Then you’ll have a little bit of company.
I just invested in a company that will pay me to keep t-bones and rib-eyes in my freezer to sell when the market improves...
While shopping my wife stopped in the make-up section to buy concealer but couldn’t find any.
I now understand why she said it’s the best product on the market.
I've been in the market for a new whiteboard, but I don't think I can trust the online reviews.
They all say the product is remarkable.
Wife and I got a flat tire driving back from the farmer’s market
I should have bought asparagus
Between the free falling stock markets, the Covid 19 pandemic, and locusts in Africa, there is one silver lining.
At least tomorrow isn’t Friday the thirteen... yikes!
Where can you buy quick escapes?
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