The father is showing his son how to prepare the fishing rod, how to set the line, and how to affix the bait. Father: "Now son, you can use many different kinds of bait. This worm, for example." The father says as he weaves the worm onto the hook and casts the line. Son: "What happens next dad?" As if on cue, the father pulls against the line, calling forth a panicked fish from the water. The son exclaims in amazement, as the father prepares the line for his next cast. He reaches into the tackle box, and beings to attach something to the hook. Son: "Dad, what kind of bait is that?" Father: "This is clickbait son." Son: "What happens next dad?" Father: "What happens next will shock you."
When I worked for a design agency, I had two adamant higher-ups. There was a brand identity project for a new company, and I was in charge of typography, but those two disagreed with my choice of font.
The first one was this stony-looking Peruvian-American man named Esteban Ferrero, but since that's Spanish for Steven Smith, and our company had a rule that everyone has to call each other using nicknames instead of last names, everyone, including himself, just called him Steve. The second one was a Dutch woman with a sharp glare named Evelien van der Berg. She was famous for giving designers a hard time convincing her that their design choices work better than hers. In accordance with the company rules, we called her Eve.
Anyway, I showed Steve my first draft, and he wasn't convinced that I chose LinoLetter as the main font, and told me that I should use a sans-serif font. But I stood by my position that serifs add legibility to printed and digital material, that it fits the company's identity as an organic store, and that it is hard to stand out with a sans-serif. It took a lot of debate, but in the end, Steve was convinced that LinoLetter was acceptable.
A few days later, I showed Eve a more elaborated version, as for the sizes and styles of the font, and the pairing of LinoLetter with Century as the headline font. She insisted that I should have used a sans-serif font for the headline. I expressed my view that LinoLetter is a font with composed and legible shape, and Century, while it is also legible, has flair at larger sizes. She kept disagreeing with me, saying I should use something bolder and more contrasting, like Tungsten. It felt like hours had passed before the conversation went anywhere, so I had to give up and look for a sans-serif font that goes with LinoLetter.
So it goes to show that the one who gave me a hard time was adamant Eve, not adamant Steve.
In the tarot bowl. A threatening bovine on one of these cards is the terror bull. The cards are made out of paper, so they're tearable. When you take the cards out of the bowl, the bowl is now tare-able. But truth be told, this long pun is terrible.
A "Ο"thon
but does anyone know a sniper?
It was quite the milestone
But I pulled it off.
He sits down, orders a beer, and begins to mull over his day.
After a few minutes he hears a quiet, and high pitched voice say "I like your shirt". He looks around and doesn't see anybody, so he goes back to his drink.
A few sips later he hears the same voice say "You have lovely eyes". He looks around again half expecting to see Alvin the chipmunk, but there is nothing.
After a few more sips, he hears it again, "I bet your parents are real proud of you". Finally he has had enough. He slams his drink down, looks over at the bartender, and says "what the hell is that high pitched voice I am hearing?!"
The bartender looks up and says "Its the peanuts...
They're complimentary."
A slipper!
Itβs a-maize-thing
Daddy, you're sad because it's SADurday.
I was so proud.
Cuz then it would be a foot.
"...40 second birthday". I was so proud.
[removed]
I became a film editor.
The horse not being able to comprehend the language shits on the floor and leaves
"How I wish... How I wish you were beer."
It's a Procrastinator.
....is to win the lottery.
The woman simply replied, βNo peer pressure.β
They had a long conversation about bark.
Edit: Y'all are nuts! We're somewhere north of 10k upvotes now, so I'll direct any remaining attention to Boot Camp for New Dads.
I told her there was a backlog.
He did unspeakable things.
Thank you for the awards. You made my day π
Can't believe I've spent all that money and have nothing to chauffer it.
Fanta of the opera.
About a calf an hour.
He said he had no Egretes
Because he had a hard drive
Their days are numbered.
I told him I was planning on keeping it
Itenticle.
Now itβs a Sub Machine Gun
Dad: β10 of the happiest years of my lifeβ
(Theyβve been married 43 years)
John Sour-Doe
FOUREVER!
There was a lot of cross referencing.
A hundred dollar bill.
This is my dad's favorite joke.
...talking to the wine."
"Not sure, let me check my logs."
It was a brief case.
As we were both on the rebound.
Does that make me Captain America?
Does anyone know of a good sniper?
Because then it'd be a foot!
