"TURN DOWN, FAWAD".
She could see I was stressed out with work and she and I have a very dark sense of humour.
Hey Dad, you ok?
Yeah li'l beat just over worker and tired and stressed about the holidays.
"hey dad, lots of men struggle with mental health don't worry about it too much, Robin Williams and Kurt Cobain daughters turned out just fine."
Lis-bone 🇵🇹
IM LIVID
Unfortunately, Timmy has to cancel. He was a little hoarse.
no...? Well I don't think I should be spreading it...
from Li-ion batteries.
His name was Li Ping Phar
He keeps saying they're Li-ion to him.
Y U No LiK PaSTa?
Wife: “I’m making a wrap.”
Me: “How can you make a wrap without any beets?”
Wife: “Because I don’t li- HEYYYY!”
http://i.imgur.com/LiRlSov.jpg
This picture says otherwise...
What they carry could be dead Li.
Find one that claims that it can charge an iPhone 5 times, to which my dad says:
"Those batteries better not be Li-ion to us."
They're full of li 's
Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.
While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).
I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)
The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun or logical - very Asian!I always get in trouble with electricians, they think I'm calling them a 'dialectician' whereas in fact I'm just saying "Die, electrician."
I like pscycholinguistics – the only department of linguistics where it’s acceptable to wear a cycle helmet. My Australian accent is terrible but I like to think my Sath Efrican one is predicate. My favourite accent is Received Pronunciation, because it is the accent chiefly used by invisible Japanese people who are ordered online. When the first recipient of an invisible Japanese person got the parcel, they wrote a complaint saying "Received but can't see Asian" and the name stuck.
Why did the speakers whose native languages weren't English, but whose only shared language was English, but they weren't very good at it and kept on having to stop to think about it, stop talking to one another? They came to an agreement. (Get it? If not, write your answer on a pastecard and paste it to the below address.)
What did the 'a' say to the 'the'? "You definitely are ticklish, 'the'!"
Why was the small man eaten by the large bear, which was proportionately bigger than him? It had, er, relative claws.
I think the reason there are so many speakers of Russian is because they all partake in an activity called "copulae shun". (Ok, ok, I know, that was Pushkin it.)
I know a man called Hillary who can, might, should, did, must, shall and will ride an ox. We call him "Ox Hillary".
I always think the verb 'to be' in the senten
... keep reading on reddit ➡My girlfriend and I were visiting her mother for the holidays. She's a sweet li'l ol' church lady, and my gf & I were expecting to have an evening to ourselves while she went to choir practice -- until she got a call from the musical director saying he was sick, and that practice would be cancelled.
"Well," I said, "I guess her presence is no longer re-choired."
On our way back from the store, talking about how expensive it is to go out on real 'dates' (been together for a year or so)
>Her: We can come up with plenty of free-ways to have fun
>Me: Mhmm--
>Her: I mean, I-71 and I-75 are great, but we can think of more.
She stared at me for about 10 seconds, grinning until I realized what she was talking about.
My face never palmed so hard as she giggled mercilessly.
I was riding my bike home at night after work and I stopped at McD's to grab a burger. I was wearing my headlamp and an old man that was in the lobby asked me "Does that ever make you feel light-headed?" I groaned and congratulated him on being a grand dad.
