Why couldnβt the lemon and the lime have sex?
Because that would be inzest.
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︎ Mar 13 2022
get it?
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︎ Mar 17 2022
I asked my wife for one of those lemon-lime sodas...
When she brought back a Coke I said "you only did this out of Sprite."
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︎ Jan 23 2022
My wife said I added too much lime juice to my homemade salsa and it made her taco taste funny
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︎ Jan 17 2022
I set the bar for noodling around in the kitchen pretty low
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︎ Mar 29 2022
What did Roger Daltrey say when Pete Townshend told him that he was sad because he'd lost his favorite old lime-colored belt?
"Don't cry... Don't raise your eye... It's only a green, aged, waist-band."
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︎ Jan 20 2022
What two keys are the worst at opening locked doors?
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︎ Mar 18 2022
You know what they say about sleeping under a citrus tree in southern Florida.
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︎ Apr 18 2022
A mean man told me I'd never be a lemon or a lime
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︎ Jun 11 2021
I was hoping my friend would catch the can of lemon lime soda that I tossed her.
But unfortunately, Sierra Mist.
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︎ May 28 2021
Did you know you are most likely to get lime disease on a full moon?
It is when all the LUNAR-TICKS come out.
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︎ Jul 04 2021
What did the corona say to the lime when he asked for an appointment?
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︎ May 31 2021
Will the Coronavirus shot come with a wedge of lime?
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︎ Dec 14 2020
I drive around and sell pies. Key Lime for $6 and Pecan pie for $8.
Those are the pie rates of the car I be in.
(I married two old jokes together, I hope thatβs ok)
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︎ Jan 05 2020
The makers of these limes clearly watch CNN
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︎ Aug 05 2020
Pickup lime ...
π︎ 1k
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︎ Mar 02 2018
Key Lime pie, $2/slice in Jamaica, $1.50/slice in the Bahamas
These are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean
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︎ Feb 23 2020
Why are unripe limes so great?
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︎ Oct 23 2020
Just an uninteresting photo of a key lime.
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︎ Mar 31 2019
Know what goes great with a Coronavirus?
π︎ 9k
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︎ Jan 23 2020
What did the Apple say to the lemon & lime when he found out they were correct?
Yeah, I guess youβre Sprite
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︎ Oct 21 2019
Nice one Michael
π︎ 7k
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︎ Jul 22 2019
Blurred limes
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︎ May 09 2014
[request] Punny name for a lime tree
Hi all,
so my boyfriend purchades a lime tree and wants to name it. As an aspiring dad and a pun artist his only demand for the name is for it to be punny.
Can you punny people come up with a funny name for alime tree?
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︎ Apr 27 2017
Credits to u/tehgerbil
π︎ 4k
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︎ Jul 12 2019
What kind of key is edible?
A turkey π¦ happy thanksgiving
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︎ Nov 26 2020
A lock's favorite food is key lime pie.
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︎ May 26 2016
What do you get when you mix lime disease with avacados, and a tomato?
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︎ Sep 19 2017
I ask the wife if the limes look ripe enough and she says they look fine.
I say: "That's good. Cause there is a fine lime between being healthy and getting scurvy."
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︎ Aug 13 2017
Write your phone number on a lime
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︎ May 15 2017
What goes well with lime?
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︎ May 09 2017
So this happened as we were sitting down to a Key lime pie dessert tonight.
We were having Key lime pie and my mom was cutting it, but since it was from Costco, it had already been cut into equal size pieces.
My dad looks over to me and says, "I guess it's a Preline-Pie"
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︎ Aug 27 2017
I've recently started writing an Ebook about the history of citrus fruits.
It's nowhere near finished, but the first chapter's on lime.
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︎ Mar 10 2021
Iβm obsessed with sketching pictures of fruit, and I really think I should stop.
I have to draw the lime somewhere.
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︎ Aug 28 2020
Can people stop making coronavirus jokes
Iβm getting sick of them
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︎ Jan 25 2020
When my dad got lime juice in his eye.
"Damn it. That lime is such a jew."
"Wtf?"
"It's hasidic."
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︎ Jun 02 2014
Would you like to drink it all up?
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︎ Jul 07 2019
Did you know that you can get a slice of lemon pie in Cuba for $1.50, but in Jamaica you can get key lime pie for $1.00?
Those are the pie rates of the Carribean.
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︎ Aug 04 2018
I was hoping my friend would catch the lemon-lime soda i tossed her.
But unfortunately Sierra Mist
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︎ May 29 2019
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