i'm a virgin at 18 and i feel all the guys around me have had sex already. Never been in a relationship, i don't even talk to girls(the gender ratio in my class is fucked and the pandemic really worsened my situation). I'm ugly, fat, have a small dick and no experience with girls whatsoever. I feel like even if a get a girl, I'll never be able to satisfy her, so I just stopped trying. I'm starting to believe I'll never find a partner. sorry to dump this all here. i just needed someone to talk to
I was excited for having my hair done for the first time at the salon and wanted an ash blonde balayage, I explained this to the hair stylist and showed a reference picture and he said that since I am Asian that blonde hair wouldnโt suit my skin tone and suggested a slightly darker shade. I thought that since he was the expert I should listen and 3 and half hours and ยฃ250 later I have a caramel brown balayage, nothing like the reference picture. The technique he used is very good and itโs blended perfectly but itโs not the colour I envisioned at all and now I feel stupid for not saying anything in the salon. Just wanted to rant here as my first post.
Iโm f27 (itโs relevant for context). In the following scenario should I tell that Iโm a virgin or just not mention it? Iโve met someone on a dating app, chatted a bit and they seem nice. We met up once for coffee, it went well and they invited me over for the next date to their place (pretty obviously insinuating hooking up etc).
I always get stuck in this stage with people. The first date goes fine and then the second/third time we hang out the other person obviously assumes something physical will happen. I freeze and get so nervous every time that nothing ever happens, but Iโm so sick of being such a coward.
I donโt know whatโs the best way to go about it. It seems way too deep and personal to mention being a virgin to someone I barely know and talk about that topic in general. I feel like it will just create an awkward situation, especially since Iโm already 27 and people wouldnโt assume that. Iโm afraid itโll make things weird and more stressful, instead of fun and casual life sex should be.
Iโm not sure what would even be the best stage to mention it at. Before the first date, after it, or during the second date etc..? Also how do you bring that up casually in conversation lol ๐๐
But I also worry if I donโt mention it beforehand, that Iโll be super awkward and freeze or act weird and the other person will think they did something wrong. Or at least think that Iโm just pretty bad at sex ๐
Iโve thought maybe I should just mention vaguely that Iโm not very experienced, but they might ask about it more and I donโt want to lie. So for my own sake I think it might be easier to just not mention it at all beforehand and try to just โfake it till you make itโโฆ
What do you think I should do? Thanks, I appreciate any advice! ๐
(Just here for advice, no creepy messages please)
Hey, front page! Holy shit! Thanks, everyone! โฅ
EDIT: Now I understand why people say "RIP Inbox".
Just out of the blue like that.. Iโm a bit stressed shes gonna tell people at our work place but I mostly just feel like relapsing atm, What a shit day.
I (22f) have never had sex before but I constantly engage in online sexting. I have talked to men online since I was really young, until today. To the point where it stops my university work and social life. I want to acknowledge that I have a problem but I dont know if sex addiction is the correct?
When I was at school (last two years of high school and college), I was focused on self-improvement to a degree. I lost weight and focused on studying (either classroom specific or self-learning).
And during this time, I was asked out many, many times but I always felt hesitant and turned down the offers. I have never been on a date despite having 12+ girls ask me out.
Now that I am out of school, I have never really had those same opportunities and the regret sets in.
How do you get over lost chances and missed opportunities?
I'm 17.
I've obviously never had sex, but it's even worse than that.
I've never held hands, I've never cuddled, I've never kissed, I've never even been on a platonic date, it sucks.
Edit: I've also never had a job before, so that makes me feel very lazy and fat.
Went to the OBGYN doctor who is male, I didn't think nothing of it, he went to school just like women who are OBGYN doctors so why not give him a chance.
So anyway told him about my problems and how I'm a virgin then he ask after saying don't feel offended by this: "Are you sure your a virgin if you had a pap smear test before?"
I know its not a big deal but it really messed with my head a lot. I was supposed to do some blood work but I keep putting it off. I really want help but I don't think I'll get it. I had 4 other female doctors that just ignore me because of my age/race and they didn't believe I was a virgin. The test hurt a hell of a lot but no one else seems to believe me and i just want help, it's getting to feel like an impossible goal.
So I'm 24 and I've never had sex. In high school I was living at home with a super controlling mother and I wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend. I had one boyfriend for about half a year when I was 19 shortly after I moved out to go to university, but he was very catholic and wasn't allowed to have sex before marriage. I broke up with him after 6 months because I wasn't really into it. After that my studies and internships at uni became really demanding and I just viewed dating and sex as something I would do after I'd graduated. I made out with a few guys at clubs when I went out with my friends, but I always made an excuse when they wanted to get my number because I feel like if it moved further it'd come to a point where they'd find out I'm a virgin and they'd find me weird.
All my girl friends basically assumed I'd had sex as well because I'm not that bad in the looks department. I know I'm not ugly because I do get guys hitting on me, but I'm really insecure about actually letting anything move past making out because then they'll find out I'm a virgin and they'll think there's something wrong with me. I don't know a single person who's a virgin at my age.
I graduated at 22, having kissed a few guys but never having had sex. I have a nice job now and everything in my social life is going well now, except for the big elephant in my room. It's getting to the point where my girl friends ask me why I never date anyone and telling me I'm crazy for not going out with so-and-so who's asked for my number. They try to set me up with guys all the time. Some have asked me if I'm a lesbian and if so there's some really nice girls they know whom would probably be interested. NO.
I'm not waiting for "the one" or anything and I do have a sex drive. I don't think losing it is a huge deal. I don't feel pressured to have sex, but I just want to have sex at this point. I'm just worried about the fall out. If I sleep with someone he might tell people I was a virgin at this age and it'd basically be a talking point within my social circle. I do NOT want that to happen.
So does anyone have advice? Do I just install Tinder and basically tell the guys I'm talking to that I'm a virgin, so I don't have to lie to them and they can nope out if they're weirded out?
Do I not tell the guy I'm a virgin and just pretend he's not my first to him? I'm scared I might bleed and he'll be able to tell or he might be able to tell I haven't had sex just by the way I act.
I know people
... keep reading on reddit โกHonestly, I don't even care that I'm a virgin anymore. I care that people treat me like a strange freak because of it. If I was allowed to live a life of dignity without having my entire self-worth degraded, I wouldn't even need to post on subs like this.
If people find out you're a virgin past a certain age, you will be mocked and ridiculed. Sure, they may not say it to your face, but they're almost certainly laughing at you behind your back, and they will spread it far enough that it will be impossible for you to find a partner in your social circle.
Naturally, people don't want to avoid humiliation, so they retreat inwards. Yet this is a vicious cycle. If you're a virgin, most people won't want you, but if you withdraw to avoid ridicule, your chances of meeting a person who will look past your faults falls to near zero.
People like us need rehabilitation. Most of us are celibate because we're socially inept, and would be able to find a date if we were given the right support. There are some among us who may never find someone, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't be able to live meaningful lives.
Also wanted to say thank you to everyone who commented and gave advice. I very much appreciate it. But on to the update...
UPDATE: Well boys. No sex but honestly, not the main goal. And I'd still consider this mission complete.
Was a great night. Walked around, got food, sat in a little park area, talked a lot. Somehow the topic of anxiety popped up and when I mentioned I had some anxiety she really pushed for me to explain more about it. So I let the honesty flow. I didn't mention virginity though, just about general anxiety and intamacy. After that conversation she kissed me.
I also did not realize that she had work at 4 AM (she works from home) today ๐คฃ so I drove her back to her house afterwards. But as I was driving away she called because apparently the people she lives with accidentally locked her out and they were all already asleep, phones off, no way to contact them.
So I picked her back up and brought her back to my apartment where she was able to change her work from 4 AM to 8 AM. We watched a little bit of YouTube in bed and then cuddled and spooned the rest of the night and passed out. Then took her back this morning at 7 AM.
Good times. Gonna hang out again after she gets back from vacation. Hope all goes well and I build up my own confidence.
I'm a MASSIVE introvert. I have friends at school but I NEVER talk to them outside of school. I start sweating when I start talking to girls and usually when that happens, the girl talks to me first. I would rather choose a longer path to my house if I'm on my way home instead of passing next to a group of teenage girls. I'm not gay, I'm 100% hetero and I'm a 17 year old male. I'm afraid, very afraid.
So I have been dating this amazing girl for close to a month and things started to heat up in the bedroom tonight. I am very carefully not to cross any boundaries with her if she isnโt ready to and today she said yes to wanting to have sex, And I asked 3 times to make sure she was completely fine with it. Prior to this I had no knowledge of her being a virgin and I felt bad for not inquiring beforehand. Right when I was going she did push me away and I immediately asked if she was okay and asked if she wanted to stop to which she said yes and I apologized if I hurt her and thatโs when I found out. How can I ensure that the next time things get to this level and sheโs ready for it, that I can make her comfortable and enjoy her first time so she doesnโt have a bad experience?
