Lemon Lime Puns

But unfortunately, Sierra Mist.

Yeah, I guess you’re Sprite

Those are the pie rates of the Carribean.

Aruba - Cherry Pie $3.45

Bahamas - Apple Pie $2.75

Jamaica - Key Lime Pie $3.34

Saint Croix - Lemon Pie $4.21

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

So we are playing dnd and our Catfolk Barbarian gets sick from being bitten from a giant tick a few days ago. She's pretty salty about it because it's made her physically weaker and she can't hit thing as well. The GM (her dad) says "She is sick with a disease that's like an extreme form of lime disease." "My God". I said "It's Lemon Disease." Without skipping a beat the GM says, "Yes. And it's made a sour puss."

We all die.

I barback for a friend on Sunday mornings. Part of that job includes cutting my own lemons and limes for brunch service. Because we only order organic produce, it's fairly common to get nasty looking fruit.

I'd been mulling over this thought for weeks, waiting for the perfect moment to capitalize on the growing, searing flame inside of me when finally, after much preparation, I found one. A lemon that looked fine on the outside and was nasty on the inside. I turned to the bartender and simply said, "I think I found a Lemon."

He groaned. And walked away. But the dad's at the bar chuckled a little.

My SO was making pico de gallo and having me and our housemates try it, she was asking what we thought it needed.

more lemon? more lime?

tomatoes? cilantro?

I got asked what I think

I don't know, I'm not really a pico de guy yo.

I am at the salsa bar at Rubio's (here is what it looks like if you don't know http://www.urbanspoon.com/rph/56/611245/130623/fresno-rubio-s-fresh-mexican-grill-salsa-bar-lemons-limes-peppers-photo). There is a teenage girl there getting salsa as well. We keep getting in each other's way as we are going back and forth across the bar getting cups, then filling the cups, then getting lids and so forth. After we go around each other about 4-5 times. I stopped, looked at her and said, "Did we just salsa dance?" The look on her face had to have been complete shock at my hilarity, or utter disgust, maybe both.

As I was signing the paperwork, the dealer gave me a sheet about the lemon laws.

Dealer: This is to say you know about the lemon laws, so if the car turns out to be a lemon, you can get all your money back.

My dad: It's not a lemon, it's a lime.

Cue me in hysterics while the dealer gave us a very satisfying confused look.

Her: [speaking of her well] We have a little lime in the water but it isn't anything we need a filter for or anything. Me: Well, a lot of people add a little lemon to their water anyway.

But unfortunately Sierra Mist