Lamed Puns

I have read that puns are not a feature of German humour...

So are German Dad's humourless? I doubt it.

Some examples of German (or any other non-English) Dad jokes please!

My dad pulled one on my brother when he was going to an interview for an internship with UPS (delivery service).

"What does the UPS guy say when he drops a package?"

"What?"

"Oops"

Laughed too hard at first because I thought it was some sort of anti-joke. But nope, just a lame pun. Stay classy, pops.

Hi everyone what are your best most lame puns?

What do you think about necromancy? I think it's a dead art...

In chat with my project manager:

PM: Yeah, here's a beneficial time for us to be stagged
Me: indeed
PM: That should read staggered, though
Me: we are on the horns of a dilemma
Me: oh deer, that was a lame pun
Me: i should just buck the trend of bad humor
Me: doe! i did it again
PM: ...

Then I pasted the above conversation to another coworker:

Coworker: ha well plaid
Coworker: i meant played
Me: it really was a clash of the tartans

Butt willy?

Telepathetic

Edit: How tf this is my first post that blew over 1k!!

But no pun in ten did.

Just sum

Burnadebt

(Just thought of this and I gotta admit...I'm a little bit proud of myself.)

Dad: Is that a fret?

But the reception was amazing.

Sorry if this is against the rules (doesn't appear so from what I read), but I'm looking for Gyoza puns. My attempts have been a bit lame so far. Thought I'd try the hive mind here if any takers? If you've goyza any please share!

Dad: How many dead people are in there?

Me: I have no idea

Dad: Hopefully all of them are.

Lame, I know, but this actually happened to me when I was 12

I came up with this one today but I'm sure it's been done before. My wife said it's lame. What do you say?

You could say /r/dadjokes a lot.

My dad tells these old jokes all the time and acts like it's the first time we've ever heard them each time. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the lake? Bob What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs under the car? Jack What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on the wall? Art What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the mail? Bill What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the doorstep? Matt What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in stage? Mike And his personal favorite... What do you call 2 guys with no arms and no legs above the window? Curt n' Rod

So you might say I was PUNished...

But I keep reminding them that camping is in-tents

It was a lamb bikini

We'll have a lame Donald Duck period.

"Reddit," replies his dad.

"Whatever," replies the kid. "Where did you read that lame joke?"

I was playing with our toddler when for whatever reason Humpty Dumpty popped in my head. I started trying to think of a funny rhyme about Dumpty cracking open and being unable to pay for US medical care and thus now lives a pain-addled, poor life. Yeah, idk.

Anyway, I couldn’t think of the original second half of the rhyme and so I asked my wife. She told me the rhyme and I said thanks. After a short silence goes by she goes,

“What are you doing, trying to think of another lame dad yolk?”

I didn’t know my son had two dads but I know now

Edit: typos

I said "Hi sick-and-tired-of-all-your-lame-ass-stupid-jokes, I'm Dad."

Not a cool vessel.

.. Sorry for such a lame Ass joke.

Bodum-tishh

Dear Reddit Community,

I need a pun that includes the word senator for my upcoming student election. I figure the wit of 382K people can't fail me. Thank you for your service. Owl miss you.

She was getting ready for a birthday party and comes running in:

Her: "Dad I can't find any socks to wear, and my favorite pair has a hole in it."

Me: "Well don't throw them away you can wear them to church on Sunday."

Her: "Huh, why?"

Me: "Because they're hole-y."

Her: "Uuuuhhh, daaaad."

I feel proud.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Rabbit.

Rabbit who?

Rabbit up carefully, it's a present!

My 3 year old daughter recently began to ask questions about everything - before she just went on with our routine.

Today we told her we should go get some lunch. She said "what is lunch?" - as in, "what are we having for lunch?"

I went on to to explain to her what lunch is; at what time it's had, how it is placed in the mouth with utensils, how the food is chewed, etc.

She just stared at me with a blank face of utter confusion. I can't wait until she starts to get these and actually finds them annoying.

But no pun in ten did