I saw a bunch of crooks kidnap a blind man.

Safe to say he did not see that coming.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
News from a Brazilian tabloid: β€œJhon Lennon kidnaps bus and passengers scream HELP”
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/guzforster
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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With my last wish, I asked the genie for two more Liam Neeson kidnap movies, even though I knew I would only get Taken Four granted.
πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wizard7926
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
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What is it called when someone kidnaps Tom Petty

Petty theft

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Badtaste92
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2012
🚨︎ report
I was kidnaped by mimes once.

They did unspeakable things too me!

πŸ‘︎ 103
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frindwamp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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My wife was kidnapped by a mime

He did unspeakable things to her

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school today?

It’s okay. He woke up

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bob-Frapples
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the kidnapping?

Nevermind, he woke up. (I saw this in a youtube video by Mishkali titled "Attack on Titan Dad Jokes" I'm not sure if she made the joke herself, but credit goes to whoever did.)

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scrub42069
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
There was a kidnapping in school

Luckily worry he woke up

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AshamedTurtwig
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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The person who had once kidnapped me got released after serving 10 years in prison. Since then, I secretly follow him to his house every single day without his knowledge.

I guess I'm suffering from 'stalk home' syndrome.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Did tou hear about the kidnapping at school?

No need to worry. He eventually woke up.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cumsock17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Saw a kidnapping at the local park this morning

He must’ve been knackered, even his mum couldn’t wake him up

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xander725
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
There was a kidnapping at my son’s school this week.

Fortunately he woke up after half an hour.

Told to me this morning by my 9yo son - I was very proud!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/P5ammead
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Mimes kidnapped me recently

They committed unspeakable crimes.

When I told the story to the detective, he has speechless.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asadleafsfan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend Herb was kidnapped!

I just received a ransom call from a unrecognized number asking if I want to get Herb alive

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I witnessed a kidnapping at the park the other day

He woke up like 5 minutes later tho

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onemangang15
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school?

It was a short nap, only about 20 minutes.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jhench78
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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8yo nephew's an early bloomer. Gets home, tells his dad, "There was a kidnaping at school today." Dad: "What!?!" 8yo, dead serious, -

"It's okay, dad... He woke up." Doesn't even smile. Walks away.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NemoKozeba
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I have seen a kidnapping.

I decided to let the kid sleep

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hank-the-ninja
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
There was a kidnapping at my work today !

It's ok, my boss' son woke up eventually

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
We had a kidnapping at our school the other day

They got a whole 20 minutes in before the teacher woke him up

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohsolinkable
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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There’s was a kidnapping in the mall yesterday!

He woke up.

(A true classic)

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinnishAmerican
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I just witnessed a kidnapping.

He was really tired.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelletjeN
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad: Hey son did you know that there was a kidnapping at a school today?

Son: What happened

Father: The teacher woke him up

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/belovedsalty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2018
🚨︎ report
"Not violent"Did you hear about the kidnapping in school?

The teacher had to wake him up

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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Someone kidnapped the Easter Bunny, hoping to steal his stash of candy. But the Bunny was steadfast and wouldn't talk.

Couldn't get a Peep out of him.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emjay144
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I was kidnapped by mimes once

They did unspeakable things to me

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IS3OO
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you guys hear about the kidnapping at school?

He woke up

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GawdFro
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I stopped a kidnapping today..

I woke him up

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you here about the kidnapping in school?

Nevermind he woke up.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lostknight5
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I kidnapped a mime once

He was speechless

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/privilegedpickle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It’s fine, he woke up.

πŸ‘︎ 183
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about that kidnapping?

Don't worry.

He woke up.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dooderdoot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
There was a kidnapping.

But I woke him up

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-DivineGod-
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It’s fine, he woke up.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Odinnextgen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school?

It’s ok, he woke up.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hut-4
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school?

Yeah he woke up at 12.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tenten1223
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday?

It’s okay he woke up...

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vPH0ENIXv
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a kidnapping!

I decided to let him sleep.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MohanBhargava
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It’s fine, he woke up.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dani_SF
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a kidnapping today.. Decided to let him sleep
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/t_a_s_e_r_f_a_c_e
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It’s ok, he woke up

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buffsmike
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I was kidnapped by a mime. The things he did to me were...

unspeakable.

πŸ‘︎ 100
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonnyprophet
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I was kidnapped by a group of mimes.

They did unspeakable things to me.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gearidall_M_Grey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you here about the kidnapping at school today???

It's fine, he woke up.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coop0606
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the nursery?

They woke up.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/red8user
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's all okay, he woke up.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Overlevendeftw
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's okay, the teacher woke him up!

πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sm0keyBear
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school?

It’s okay, he woke up....

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oasishippie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report

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