He heard it involved axes.
It has become very corrupt.
I discovered the floor plans!
It's definitely a coo.
βThis takes me back.β
Like the holes in a container,
To let the the characters breathe and live.
Me: "Hi confused, I'm Mom"
Cemetery groundskeeper: I guess you can say Iβve made a grave mistake.
an army of clones of the most hated celebrities attack hollywood.
Remaking due to spelling error.
She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
And inside she finds a deed to an undeveloped plot of land that is zoned residential. Disappointed, she sets the deed down and says, "I don't want a lot for Christmas!"
The plot was predictable. The special f(x) was terrible.
A giant list of puns
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itβs a little fishy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itβs tearable.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donβt think itβs feline well.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
Thereβs a new type of broom out, itβs sweeping the nation.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.
What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Towels canβt tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"
Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itβs pretty handy.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
A cross eyed teacher couldnβt control his pupils.
After the accident, the juggler didnβt have the balls to do it.
I used to be afraid of hu
... keep reading on reddit β‘
Because he had one tract mined.
Turns out itβs just a communist plot.
It wasn't up to snuff.
They must be plotting something
I call it Plot Armor β’
The police are looking into it.
-
Why was the fraction apprehensive about marrying the decimal? Because he would have to convert.
-
Why do plants hate math? It gives them square roots.
-
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average? It was a mean thing to say!
-
Why was the math book depressed? It had a lot of problems.
-
Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated? Because it is never right.
-
Why can you never trust a math teacher holding graphing paper? HeΒ must be plotting something.
-
Why was the equal sign so humble? Because she knew she wasnβt greater than or less than anyone else.
-
What do you call the number 7 and the number 3 when they go out on a date? The odd couple
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What do you call a number that canβt stay in one place? A Roaminβ numeral.
-
Did you hear the one about the statistician? Probably.
-
What do you call dudes who love math? Algebros.
-
Iβll do algebra, Iβll do trig. Iβll even do statistics. But graphing is where I draw the line!
-
Why should you never talk to Pi? Because sheβll go on and on and on forever.
-
Why are parallel lines so tragic if they have so much in common? Itβs a shame theyβll never meet.
-
Are monsters good at math? Not unless you Count Dracula.
-
Whatβs the best way to flirt with a math teacher? Use acute angle.
-
Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers? Theyβd stop at nothing to avoid them.
-
How do you stay warm in any room? Just huddle in the corner, where itβs always 90 degrees.
-
Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight ("ate") nine!
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Why DID seven eat nine? Because youβre supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
-
Why does nobody talk to circles? Because there is no point.
The plot thickens.
It was quite the Saab story.
Weβre in grave danger
It wasn't the most accurate, but it gets the point across.
The plot was a bit predictable
And a little flat!
Had good Special f(x) though
You could say I'm living my life paycheck to Palahniuk
Spiderman is sent to Australia to combat a new deadly villian and is being called "Spiderman Home and Away"
They said he was carrying weapons of math instruction, and was a member of the Alge-bra movement.
Because the moral of the story is >!"Everything will work out in the end... once you deal with the Dam problem!"!<
He was plotting against me!
A giant list of puns
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itβs a little fishy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itβs tearable.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donβt think itβs feline well.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
Thereβs a new type of broom out, itβs sweeping the nation.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.
What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Towels canβt tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"
Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itβs pretty handy.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
A cross eyed teacher couldnβt control his pupils.
After the accident, the juggler didnβt have the balls to do it.
I used to be afraid of hu
... keep reading on reddit β‘It's time consuming
I call it plot armor
Then I thought to myself "This is the last thing I need."
