Kayaking Puns

I need a response to "looks like you had an oar some time" thanks in advance

He doesn't know the area and gets himself lost. All he does know is that there are a lot of grizzly bears roaming around during the salmon spawn this time of year, so he's quite afraid to get out of his kayak.

The temperature starts to drop. He needs to stay warm, and decides to build a fire inside his little boat on the river.

He learnt a valuable lesson that night: you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

I said, either or.

You just go with the flow.

My family went sea kayaking yesterday and our guide's name was Nate. When the guide introduced himself my dad said in his corniest, most exaggerated fake Australian accent "good day Nate!" I groaned along with the rest of my family while my dad chuckled to himself for the next thirty seconds.

Dad: I can row a boat. Canoe?

Some people and I were kayaking and we passed a sign with the number 17. I asked what it was and a woman said that it was a mile marker.

So I asked "Do they have mile crayons?"

I got a pity chuckle.

Canoe?

But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Fake canoes!

It’s just something I got sucked into.

Shows you can’t have your kayak and heat it too!

...are you canoodling?

"Blblblblblvllgllgl"

I said, "I'll take either/oar."

As the sky darkened, he started to get worried about the cold. Rummaging through his supplies, he realized he had just enough to build a small fire. The man did accomplish his goal, but just as the fire started to grow, it sank his vessel, and the man drowned.

I guess the old saying holds true; you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

Younger one says, “I t’s getting cold, can we light a fire?” The older one says“no” The evening approaches and the young one again asks, “can we light a fire?” But the older one declines. They stop for the night and the young Inuit asks if they can light a fire, because is getting very cold. But the older one says “no” again and goes to sleep. The young one sneakily lights a fire and the kayak burns down.

Moral of the story: you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

Because its a Ka-YAK not a Ka-UFFALLO!

...but backwards, it’s even more stupid…

Canoe believe it?

Two Inuits are out fishing on a kayak. They've been out all day, and the sun's setting. As the temperature drops, they decide to light a campfire on the watercraft, which, unsurprisingly sinks. This just goes to prove that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

My uncle told us this one today...

Two eskimos are in a kayak, paddling along a river. Freezing cold, one eskimo says to the other, "hey, why don't we start a fire here in the middle of the kayak?" so they manage to get a small fire going and start to finally warm up, when the fire creates a hole in the middle of the kayak. The kayak fills with water and they sink to the bottom of the river. Moral of the story? You can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

My dad had a hearty laugh at this one.

Dad: So I heard that two guys drowned in [random town] this morning...

Me: That's horrible! What happened?

Dad: Apparently, they were in a kayak and they lit a fire which caused it to sink.

Me: ...that doesn't sound like a good idea...

Dad: Yea well, it just goes to show you can't have your kayak and heat it too....

1. The fattest knight at King Arthurs round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: You stay here; I'll go on a head.

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: Keep off the Grass.

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says Dam!

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, I’ve lost my electron. The other says Are you sure? The first replies, Yes, I’m positive.

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

My parents are currently looking for kayaks. So they decided to check online.

My dad was searching for kayaks online.

Mom: "Are you looking at Dick's (Sporting Goods)!?"

Dad: " No! I'm looking at kayaks!"

Me: "I'll check Kayak first"

My Dad: "Why? You need a plane, not a kayak!"

Canoe?

Fake Canoes

Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Fake canoes

I said I’d take either/oar.

Fake canoes

“I would take either/oar.”

Proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank - proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

... is it a kayak?

My wife handed me two kayak paddles and asked which one I wanted. I replied "either, oar"