This conversation between my (ex)gf.

Long post is long:

Her: Remember dad's tomato bushes? Well they're attacking! At least one is leaning across the path trying to get at my window... We had the war of the roses, now its time for the attack of the tomatoes!

Me: I don't remember anything about tomato bushes. From one battle to the next.

Her: Yep! Lookout tomatoes here comes the chutney recipe!

Me: I can just imagine a cucumber campaign. Operation onion would be next, which will fail, causing everyone to cry. Dill Day follows, a great success for the allied gardeners. All too soon though, the kamikaze carrots set in, utterly ruining the radish raid. The mushroom maneuver is employed, saving the troops, allowing them to deal the final blow in the asparagus assault!

Her: Don't forget the pumpkins want to supply ground cover with heavy support...

Me: Ah yes, the pumpkin paratroopers.

Her: Thyme is running out...

Me: Prepare the beetroot bombs!!!

Her: Aim for Potato Garden!

Me:

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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👤︎ u/Zokoro
📅︎ Apr 02 2017
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Dropped a good one on my girlfriend and her friends at the bar

Girlfriend: Try this drink Mark, it taste just like a sweet tart! Me: sips drink That's pretty good. What's or called? Girlfriends friends: It's called a Kamikaze. Me: That explains why people are dying to get it.

👍︎ 6
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📅︎ Oct 09 2016
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