What do you call Josh Brolin on a trampoline?

A Jumper Cable

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xenoraiser
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2018
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So in regards to what happened between Drake and Josh....

Josh definitely has a chance at winning the "no Bell" prize this year

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bassplayer93
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2017
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Drake and Josh with classy dad joke

http://imgur.com/J4sxmWe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedEM43
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2014
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Which superhero is be the best at baseball?

Batman

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cbfw86
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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Were they really fighting?

Or were they just Joshing around?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OPs_Mom_and_Dad
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
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What did the cannibal call the curry he made using the meat of Joshua - a balding Indian man?

Rogaine Josh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/celebrationrock
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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A bunch of male ducks teased me today because I still watch Nickelodeon.

I ignored them because I don't have time for Drakes and Josh

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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There was a boy..

His name was Josh Buttlicker. Everyone used to make fun of him. On his 10th birthday his dad asked him what he wanted as a gift.

He said β€œI am so sick of everyone making fun of my name and I really want you to change it officially”.

Dad said β€œNo way! This is our family name, which represents our lineage, and I will never do it.”

He tried asking again on his 11, 12th up to his 17th birthday. But his dad denied his wish every time.

Finally on his 18th birthday, he told his dad β€œYou cannot do anything now. I am of legal age and it is my decision!!” He rushed to the court with a lawyer, and completed all the paperwork to change his name legally.

Then he came home, and his dad asked β€œwell, what is it?”

He said β€œDave Buttlicker”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Transitionals
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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My wife just said, "Nothing rhymes with orange"

I said, "no it doesn't"

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/number9spud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
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Einstein and Freud once were having a conversation. Freud was talking about inner family romantic relationships.

...And Einstein said it was all relatives.

(Not from me, from Josh Fonokalafi)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrunkenRedittor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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Any time I start a sentence with "Well..."

My father cuts me off and says " 'Well' Now that's a deep subject"

πŸ‘︎ 489
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CertDenied
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2015
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The Laughing Hoagie

Two high school students named Steve and Josh found themselves broke on a saturday afternoon while strolling around in the city mall. They hadn't eaten lunch and they were getting hungry, but alas, they had no money for food and they were hours away from home.

"I heard there's a place downtown where you can get a sandwich for free" Steve said to Josh.

"That sounds great, let's check it out" Josh replied, and they headed downtown.

They soon found the place. It was a small shop, too small to feel like a real business. The place had no tables or chairs, and not really much furniture at all. An old man stood behind a small counter and eyed them as they entered.

"Welcome to the Laughing Hoagie" he said.

"What is a laughing hoagie?" Josh wondered.

"It's the name of this sandwich place. This is not a regular sandwich shop. We have a special offer here for people who can't afford to pay for their food." the man said as he smiled a toothy smile at them.

"So it's true then," Josh blurted out, "we can get free food here?"

"Not so fast." The old man said. "There is a condition."

"What is it?" Steve wondered aloud.

"Well," the man started "you have to listen to one of my jokes, and the one of you who laughs the most genuine laugh gets a free sandwhich. The other one gets nothing."

As he said this, the old man opened a small refrigerator that stood behind the counter and produced a large, footlong sandwhich with ham, cheese, bacon, lettuce and tomatoes. It was covered in a white dressing and gave off a faint peppery aroma. The boys' mouths started watering at the sight of it.

"What? So only one of us gets a sandwhich?" Steve asked, taken aback.

"Those are the rules," the old man grinned, "if you don't like it, you may leave."

"Nah, we'll hear the joke." Josh said. Steve looked at him, and then nodded to the old man.

"All right." the old man rubbed his hands together as if preparing to dig into a strenuous task.

"What did the mother Buffalo say when her boy left for college?" he asked, and looked expectantly at the teens. They both stared at him with blank expressions.

"Bye Son!" he exclaimed, and struggled not to burst out giggling at his own quip. Josh chuckled a bit, but Steve just frowned.

"That was the worst joke I ever heard!" he exclaimed.

"Well," the old man said as he handed the sandwich over to Josh, "if you don't like jokes with really bad punchlines, then this sub is not for you."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fluffigt
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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Everybody is so crazy about this Drake...

...but I really liked Josh better.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toberoni
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
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Why is everyone hating thanos when they see him?

Because Josh b rolin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiidlocs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
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At a restaurant

Server: Hi my name is Jenny and I will be your server... Dad: Well hello Jenny. My name is Bob, this is my wife Deb, my son not_Josh and we will be your customers this evening.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/not_josh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2013
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Got my brother while walking to the library

My brother and I were walking to the library after I picked him up from school, and some bushes moved a little bit as we passed by them.

Bro: Did you hear that?

Me: Hear what?

Bro: The rustle in the bushes

Me: How did you know his name was Russell?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hex498
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2014
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My dad explaining why James Bond is playing on Thanksgiving.

[James Bond theme plays on TV in the living room]
Dad: You recognize that, Josh?
Me: Yeah, because James Bond and Thanksgiving go hand-in-hand.
Dad: I know!
Me: I was being sarcastic.
Dad: Why?
Me: How does it have anything to do with Thanksgiving?
Dad: Oh come on, a lot of families Bond on Thanksgiving!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/terminavelocity
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2013
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Dad's Blind in One Eye...

"Josh was reading something small and asked to use my glasses. I gave them to him and said to keep them. I told him they are pretty much new. I only used one side. "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/meldiane81
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2014
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Getting incessantly dadjoked by my female boss.

I'm at work today. In my job, I share an office with two other people, and my boss has another office down the hallway.

Currently, all three of us underlings are in the front office. We all are named Josh. For the last two hours, my boss has been calling the front office from her extension and saying, "Bring me the one they call Josh! Is Josh there?!" Then she laughs maniacally and hangs up. This repeats about every five to ten minutes.

I don't know how to make it stop. Please help.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FerdThePenguinGuy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2014
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Dad posted this on facebook

Do you think that josh hutchersons mom and dad are called josh hutchermom and josh hutcherdad?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vamosrafan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2013
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