They had a little boy.
So Kim runs an undergarment and such clothing store, and I recently ordered myself some pyjamas. I fortunately she got the orders mixed up and sent me some type of dressing gown instead. All I could say was Kim,oh-no!
Nekko waffers.
Parme-san
I guess you can call them Japa-knees
Itβll be my Civic duty.
They are all the γγ
*γ=sa, γ=me, γγ = same =shark.
Poke Mon
...the Land of the Rising Son?β
Because the Chinese would try to eat the bat.
Yolkohama!
Every time he tried to shake hands people kept saying "Bow Sir!"
For God's sake.
One Okinawa.
A KaTUNA!
It's because there is so many YouthInAsia.
(euthanasia)
Friend: You tried Yakiniku when you were in Japan?
Me: Yeah.
Friend: What kind?
Me: I had horumon
Friend: Oh... that's offal.
Me: It really was.
Times new ramen
The native student answers βClevelandβ, much to the teacherβs chagrin. The Exchange student on the other hand, answers βItβs a bit late, but Gozaimasu!β
Of how much of Japan is Japan.
Because they are insects, it's a feature...not a bug.
They export it from Nog-asaki
I told him, "You Tokyo time"
He is now a wanted Fujitive
They thought it was gonna be a blast
I said no, the fish there were actually pretty sociable.
Edomommy
Because they have lots of animes.
Cuz the movies all about mute-asians....(mutations)... geddit?
Because itβs ichi
Japan's emporer.
Deposed atop mount fuji.
That was a high coup.
Konichihuahua.
The Ariga-Toad.
That was very impressive.
Hitler invades Poland, Japan attacks Pearl Harbor, and the Tripartite Pact has been signed!
Times new ramen
Ricist
Eileen
A NANI
He was a billyenaire.
Japan
claps twice
The Shinzo Abe Lincoln Bedroom.
Dad: Did you know that there's a higher percentage of gay men in Japan than in the United States?
Me: No I didn't
Dad: Yea they can't help it if every blow-job's a bro-job
Me: intense look of disappointment
He always makes these lame jokes.
Before he left, he said he'll Skype me from Japan and said "see you on the flip side!"
Sigh, oh Nara.
I did "Nazi" that coming
He asked me which one
They relax in the Yakuzzi.
The doctor didn't speak much English, but after he examined me for a few minutes, he said "You got Ed Zachary disease" I said, "Doctor, what the heck is Ed Zachary disease?" He replies "It simple. You face look Ed Zachary rike you ass."
It was a monumental undertaking.
My dad was born in Japan. We're an average looking white family. My dad says he doesn't look Asian because when he crossed the ocean he became disoriented.
So I had a productive day at work coming up with these Capital City puns a year ago today. Thought they were too good not to share!
Why did the Geordie arrange a holiday to Romania?
To book a rest!
Bob Mortimer was speaking to his comedy partner's wife saying he wanted to take him on a piss up to Iceland. When asked why he said:
I want to wreck ya vic!
Why should you never let a man go swimming in Finland with weights on his ankles?
Coz He'll sinky
What do people most commonly use toilet paper for in Bandar Seri Begawan?
Their Brunei
Catwoman bet her male counterpart he couldn't pronouce the capitol of Nepal. But cat man do.
Why was the Polish man rubbing his bollocks? Coz they warsaw.
I just came up with a cracking pun for Japan. Alas, all the wife could say was "What Tokyo so long?"
The ex Mrs McCartney got naked in East Germany in the 80s. She was known for years in the area as Bare-lin
Cheap flights to Russia still available! Book now! Everything Moscow!
The people of Bahamas think learning Capitol cities is Nassau important
The people of the Netherlands had a need to build a water driven power station as well as an overabundance of pork products. So they used 'Ams to Dam a river.
A husband and wife in the Phillipines were both very, very unwell. The woman was sick, but the man iller.
What's the average Senegalian's favoured mode of transport? Da car
Have you heard about the talking cat in Somalia that only throws insults? The Moggy Diss you
They are obsessed with John Cleese in Uruguay. They love a video of Fawlty towers almost as much as they love a Montevideo
People from Vietnam Hanoi the hell outta me
Rain storms are very rare in Zambia, but in Zimbabwe they Harera
Before you do a joke about Macedonia, let me Skopje right there
I've heard Swedish Ikea workers get stuff for free, they can just take Stockholm
If you are trying to eat Halal in Pakistan, Islamabad or good choice?
Kid in the class: βoh you lived in Japan, do you know Kung fu?β
Professor: βno. I didnβt know Kung fu, but I knew his brother Harryβ
I was with a friend in the mall, we wandered into one of those stores where they have cute Japan-ized versions of everything. We were looking at some overly cute plush round pillow-esque versions of Spongebob, Dora the Explorer, and Spiderman.
My friend picks up Dora the Explorer and says "Man, she's not supposed to be round, what is this?" I instantly came back with "Come on man, it's a-Dora-ball."
I was so proud I've been telling everyone and I figured you guys would appreciate it.
The topic is racism. My mom, sisters, and I are talking about how racism and stereotypes are not the same while my dad just quietly eats his food. We all give some examples of stereotypes for different cultures and how they might have come about. Then there is a break in the conversation.
A break for dad to casually throw in his two cents: "Many stereo types are from Japan."
I can imagine his thoughts before saying it. Oh, I've got one for this. Come on, set me up set me up . . . yes!
Good stuff, dad.
Watching tv, and a tv spot for Godzilla comes on.
Me: That's going to be freaking awesome.
Dad: Oh yeah?
Me: Yeah, you know he's(Godzilla) the biggest he's ever been here.
Dad: No, he was bigger in Japan.
He was mighty pleased with himself.
Went to Japan with my wife a couple years ago, brought a paper map everywhere.
Every time we got off a train I would pull out the map and say, "Now we just have to orient ourselves..."
I giggled like a girl every time.
the Japanese Olympic Track and field team, in typical Asian make-every-thing-harder-to-do-than-it-has-to-be fashion have announced that hey are sticking by their regimen of only using malformed, decade-and-a-half old, equipment rigged to pop out of the course unexpectedly in order to secure their hopes of Olympic glory. While this may seem counter intuitive, Kadauo Osakamizu, a analyst for the team claims there is actually a historic cultural precedent for the odd exercises. In a quote, Mr. Osakamizu insists that the idea is that "if the team can excel with such sub-par materials, executing wins when the equipment is good should be of little concern."
So it seems that at least for the foreseeable future, Japan will be pinning their hopes on Teenage, Mutant, Ninja Hurdles.
Japanese Hibatchi steakhouse, all the chefs in cheesy cowboy outfits.
Dad: I guess you're from Western Japan.
Chef: Oooo got me there.
Groans.
So my family and I were out to dinner a few nights ago and I was talking about how in Japan the restrictions on Kobe beef are different from the rest of the world, so when you order it in many restaurants you're not actually eating Kobe beef. My dad's response to this was that it wasn't actually "Kobe beef" but "LeBron beef".
My buddy at work saw me driving a company truck and sent me a text since he is transferring to another office in Japan.
Mike: Why are you in that stake bed. Me: Because I was hungry and tired! Mike: That doesn't make any sense. Me: Steak. Bed. Mike: Damn you!
My brother started to tell my grandpa about his plan to study abroad in Japan for the summer.
My grandpa asked "Who's the broad?"
I don't even think he meant it as a joke and just misinterpreted, but I can't stop laughing.
Japan!
Japan
japan
