Acupuncture is a jab well done.

That’s the point of it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/swanky_wanker69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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I want to tell a vaccine joke

But some won't get it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crimsonangel68
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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My friend moved to the Himalayas so he could go around jabbing wild oxen with needles

He practices yakupuncture.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChargingTiger
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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Just clocked out of my job as an acupuncturist.

I’d say I did a jab well done.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MajicMan101
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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I was watching a women’s boxing match from the Middle East, but was a little disappointed.

All they were throwing were high jabs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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The jokes about anti-vaxxers are getting old.

Unlike their kids

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whattajosh
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
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My Acupuncturist is a real back stabber!

But it's always a jab well done.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wilgrove
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
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No matter how much you push the envelope,

it'll still be stationery.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore

I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A. I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered. He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the ends.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PewPewWizard2000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
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Ever heard of the Indian Martial Art move which is known to make people laugh?

It's called the Pun-jab!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PyrosEnjoyPieHW2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2016
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Looking for a pun

Years ago i c ame across a story thatvwas filled with puns. It was about a punjab boy being jabbed by a pen. Does anybody know where i can find it? I have been gogling it.but nu results. Can you guys help?

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2016
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What did one unemployed sensei say to the other and employed sensei ?

They took our jabs!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/amisamiamiam
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2017
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My friend has a wooden eye

We were in high school and it was that time of year where the pupils are looking for prom dates.

Anyways, there is this girl, Iris, that goes there that was also date-less who had a hair-lip (cleft palette) and hoping to hear from my friend.

He walks up to her, and says, "Iris, would you like to go to prom with me?"

Iris was so excited, her cheeks flushed, a smile burst forth and she exclaims, "Would I?! Would I?!......"

My friend gets pissed and jabs his finger towards her as tears start streaming down one side of his face and he's yells, "HAIR-LIP! HAIR LIP!" And runs away bawling his eye out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2017
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I work for a survey company and we're currently doing some surveying for some airports throughout the state

My coworker/good friend of mine works out in the field performing these surveys and for the latest airport job he said to me that this airport is basically dead and that there's hardly anyone there consistently working in the office, monitoring the radio, etc.

So I asked him, "then what does someone do if they're out flying and want to land there... [start jabbing him with my elbow] just WING it??"

I should be ashamed but I'm still laughing at myself. No I am not a dad (technically).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/prizzaboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2016
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My grandma just sent a chain email full of these. I'll just copy and paste them.

"Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that have a love for the use of words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless." A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held every year in an undisclosed location. This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.

Here goes...

.. When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

.. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

.. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

.. The batteries were given out free of charge.

.. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

.. A will is a dead giveaway.

.. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

.. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

.. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

.. Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

.. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

.. A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

.. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

.. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

.. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

.. When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.

.. Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

And the cream of the twisted crop:

.. Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/All_Hail_Dionysus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2015
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Acupuncture is a jab well done. 😎
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeekMcLeod
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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