We successfully went back in time and got Isaac Newton and Shakespeare to complete each other's research

Now my high school kid wants me to remind him of Newton's 3rd law of emotion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RamSamG
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Did you hear about the new movie on Isaac Newton played by Gerard Butler ?

Apple Has Fallen

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kinjago
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
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Sir Isaac Newton died shortly after being hit on the head with the apple.

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
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Have you heard about Isaac Newton’s mother?

She was a Ma to be reckoned with.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/baynesaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
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Isaac Newton was a kewl guy, with his invention of gravity...

But his brother Fig was kinda fruity!

My 32-year-old son just came up with that joke! Proud moment happening right there!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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Isaac Newton is sitting under a tree one day...

... when something falls out of the tree and hits him on the head.

He picks up the fallen object and examines it, then declares, β€œWhy, some invisible force must have pulled this apple to the ground!”

A passerby overhears the famed scientist, then mutters, β€œFucking idiot doesn’t know one fruit from another,” before shouting, β€œHey! That’s a fig, Newton!”

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
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Isaac was helping Abraham to build a gaming PC.

They found all the parts that they needed on online, and we're ready to order. Right before Abraham hit the Checkout button, Isaac reviewed the contents of the order:

Isaac: "Dad, you're missing the memory."

Abraham: "God will provide the RAM."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IdonJuanTatalya
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2018
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Isaac Newton's Dad

After discovering gravity, Isaac Newton went to tell his parents about his observations. His dad looked at him and said, "well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JediFunHouse
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2015
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I told my Uncle John that Isaac Newton once stuck a darning needle behind his eyeball to test a hypothesis about optics.

He won't stop referring to him as Eye-Stick Newton.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/messenger_boy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2015
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If a cat wrote the laws of motion, what would you call the cat?

Isaac Mewton.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/postmodernpotato
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
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Where does the Bible mention smoking?

Genesis 24:64 -- And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2018
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[Wholesum] Euler Meets St. Peter at the Pearly Gates

St. Peter: Your number's up Euler, and Isaac Newton says you have to count all the spheres in the universe before you can enter heaven. What say ye?

Euler: Sigma balls, Dick.


Sigma is used to notate summation.

Summation is the process of adding things together.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Target359
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
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My nephew is on par to be the world's youngest dad

Okay so this one may not be too special, but I thought it was hilarious. My nephew has a slight speech impediment which made it all the better.

I was visiting my brother and his family over the weekend. I decided to take the kids to the store so I yelled down the hall for my nephew (7 years old and sitting in his gitch) to get dressed. My niece who was also in the room said "I am dressed". Immediately after I heard this tiny little giggle followed by "hi dressed, I'm Isaac".

No one taught him this. All natural. The father is strong in this one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FunkyBunch21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2014
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