Ah, international puns.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePowderhorn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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Personally, I don't believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros.

There needs to be a balance.

A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A____K
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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While traveling internationally , I purchased a new car made in Prague for pretty cheap...

When I first started it, the Czech engine light came on!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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What is the internal temperature of a Tauntaun?

Lukewarm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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What's the internal temperature of a Tauntaun?

Luke warm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cysec
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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At international cheese school what did the teacher say to Netherland's cheese when it asked a doubt?

Gouda question.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bonp27
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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International

What do you call a Russian with 3 testicles?

Whoodya nickaknackeroff

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πŸ‘€︎ u/discosatan71
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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Los Angeles International Airport should sell their own brand of laxatives called LAXatives.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Haha_Lostboys18
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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Overheard at an international chemistry competition

Said by a British chemist: "I'll kick your arsenic!"

Said by an American chemist: "I'll kick your astatine!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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Have you guys seen the International space station??

Its out of this world!

How it works is above me!

Someone tried to explain it to me but it flew right above my head!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hydro_12345
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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How do you reply to an email about someone freaking out at the Los Angeles International Airport?

Re:LAX

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raptavis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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*internal screaming*
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MemeHutz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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What do you call someone who cleans the outside of the International Space Station?

A vacuum cleaner

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dinsy_Crow
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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Due to covid-19, finland closed its borders to international marathon runners.

The racers ran anyways but unfortunately no one crossed the finnish line

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IGotSkills
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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What's the difference between the government and the mafia?

The mafia can turn a profit!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudebrostien
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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Tomorrow is International Mud Day, and I had this marvellous exchange with my 4 year old today, Sunday: "Better prepare your gumboots, tomorrow is Mud Day!" I exclaimed. My child, without missing a beat, replied:

"No it's not, it's MUNday!" The apprentice has now become the master.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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A reminder that it’s International Diarrhoea Week

Runs until Friday

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fantasypaladin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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After a long hour of deep internal reflection
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fakyu2
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
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In a field with lots of sheep and lambs roaming around, a giant wolf appeared and swallowed whole a baby lamb. The lamb whined and yelped nonstop for hours on end. After a while the wolf started getting sick, and yet the lamb yelped and whined ever louder.

Finally the wolf died and the baby lamb walked out of the wolf and rejoined it’s momma in the flock of sheep. Turns out the wolf died of internal bleating.

All credit goes to my coworker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robertmmoore143
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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What's the international religion of economics

"Dowism."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dusty_marshmello
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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The O.Henry Pun-Off is back β€œON!” - Tongues of puns linger
  • Like all cherished things in this covid-crazy world, the O.Henry Museum’s famous free, family friendly celebration of the wit-in-word will take place virtually in cyberspace this year. With an awesome live cast of lively wits and tortured tongues, the online audience will be treated to all the linguistic twists, dramatic turns, and surprise endings they’ve groan to love. Expect to witness wacky word butchers and voracious verbivores from around the globe, all worming their way into your ears. Tongues of tradition, tension and camaraderie make this the premier event for the world's competitive wordplay community
  • Brought to you this year by the City of Austin, Brush Square Museums Foundation, and co- sponsored by Austin's very own Fantastic Magic Camp, as well as the internationally renowned podcast, Pun Intensive, The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition will commence Saturday, November 21, 2020
  • Preliminary live rounds begin Saturday, November 21, 2020, at 11:00am CST, lasting about 2 hours. Later that evening, live competition resumes at 7:00pm CST with head-to-head prime time heats. - See Pun-Off.com for schedule details, links, and more.

[Austin, TX, November 1, 2020] - Although traditionally held outdoors on a single day in the spring, the first portion 2020 the O. Henry Museum Pun-Off competition known as Punniest of Show was conducted via video in October. Now on Saturday, November 21, 2020, PARD will bring you their most popular second segment, O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition

This free, fun, and family friendly event will take place online this year, but with special twists, turns, and surprise modifications to make it the perfect 2020 event for the world's competitive wordplay community.

The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships have been an Austin institution for 43 years. As usual, the contest will feature a cavalcade of word-class wordsmiths from across the globe, all worming their way into your art. Join and enjoy us as they compete to spontaneously spit out the most absurd words you’ve ever heard.

The event will be live streamed at PunIntensive.com.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bpcombs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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Dude, where’s my
πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marcus-Prince
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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These are very important lab-reports
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_like_miniwheats
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
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How do they keep astronauts warm on the International Space Station?

Space heaters

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlaterTech
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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I was once in a band called 999 megabytes.

We could never quite get a gig.

Edit: I was aware that it's 1024 Meg to a gig, but "a band called 1023 megabytes" doesn't have the same ring to it. Also doesn't getting the IT wrong make it more dad like?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickl444
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
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I just need dad joke enthusiasts to know that the International Poultry Meat Congress is held in Turkey this year.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhilipGlassEye
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
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(OC) Why don’t Canadians participate in international spelling bees? reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beam_me_up_leela
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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Internal cringe intensifies
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πŸ‘€︎ u/signawhir
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
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What do you call it when people are getting married in the International Space Station?

Tying the astroknot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/salmonellatuna
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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Where is it!
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
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International concerns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KevlarYarmulke
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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An international arms dealer.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2018
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Feeling international today: Having Fish and Chips for lunch.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alzyma
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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I went to the computer shop and told them our family computer has an internal part that has stopped working

The shop assistant said, "Motherboard?"

I said, "Yeah, she can't do online shopping anymore"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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I bought a boat, and named it "The Unpaid Intern"

So now I tell people I have an unpaid intern-ship.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twisted_Schwartz_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
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Me: this is my house

Friend: what's upstairs Me: stairs don't talk

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryan3ap
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
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While on international business travel, I had Ihop in Iran.

Should've waited to digest before the exercise, the cramps were a bitch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rpark888
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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The doctor said I have a lot of internal bleeding.

That's good because it's where blood is meant to be.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naked_Grandma-69
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2018
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One my friends is studying in New Zealand and her boyfriend is studying in Canada. I told this to someone and remarked on how romantic it would be for them to date on the International date line .
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hal_potter_seven
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
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My wife was mad I didn't wish her a "Happy International Women's Day"...

I said, "But you're a Domestic Woman!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stoneyzepplin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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People on board the International Space Station are such snobs.

They look down on everyone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/260mg
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
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I’ve heard today is International Mic Check day.

1,2....1,2.....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slimb0yslim
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2018
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I would tell you something about your internal organs but...

...You wouldn’t get it; it’s an inside joke.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
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Getting quite tired of my friends calling me a pathological liar

Being the head of the NSA during the week and captaining the International Space Station on the weekends can be very exhausting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xtilexx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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Why did the church get indicted by the internal revenue service?

For displaying false profits.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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It’s international sound check day

1 2 1 2

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beefy_storms
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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Security at Los Angeles International Airport was very chill

I guess it was LAX.

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πŸ“…︎ May 25 2016
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