Infraorder Puns

My friend wanted to know Magnorder, Superorder, Infraorder and Sub-family of Platypus are. Help if anyone knows

The funeral director was asking us what we think Mum should wear in her casket.

Mum always loved to wear sarongs (fabric wraps that go around the torso and drape downward a bit like a long skirt would), so my uncle suggested that she wear a sarong in there.

The funeral director looked a bit confused, as did some of our family members, to which my uncle added:

"What's sarong with that?"

I started laughing like an idiot. He was proud of it too. The funeral director was rather shocked. We assured her, and our more proper relatives, that Mum would've absolutely loved the joke (which is very true).

His delivery was perfect. I'll never forget the risk he took. We sometimes recall the moment as a way help cushion the blows of the grieving process.

--Edit-- I appreciate the condolences. I'm doing well and the worst is behind me and my family. But thanks :)

--Edit-- Massive thanks for all the awards and kind words. And the puns! Love 'em.

I would have a daughter

But Bill kept the Windows

True story; it even happened last night. My 5-year-old son walks up behind me and out of the blue says, "hey."

I turn to him and say, "yeah, kiddo? What's up?"

He responds, "it's dead grass."

I'm really confused and trying to figure out what's wrong and what he wants from me. "What? There's dead grass? What's wrong with that?"

.

.

.

He says, totally straight-faced, "hay is dead grass," and runs off.

A few decades ago, American restaurants changed the name of a common menu item. A fish, which had previously been listed as dolphin (Coryphaena hippurus), began to appear by its Native Hawaiian name, mahi-mahi. They did this because they did not want this fish to be at all associated with the beloved aquatic mammals within the infraorder cetacea.

But how and why did these two types of animals ever get the same name to begin with???

Thanks!!

And then you will all be sorry.

No it doesn't.

Now it’s syncing.

He replied, "Well, stop going to those places then!"

She said how do you know he was headed to work?

I will find you. You have my Word.

“thank you for your cervix.”

Made me smile

Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...

...sails are going through the roof.

But now I stand corrected.

Wait. Sorry, wrong sub.

Wookie mistake.

Theoretical Fizz-ics

Because you can’t ‘C’ in the dark

A taxi

I said, “That makes two of us.”

so I had to ground him.

He's doing better currently.

And conducting himself properly.