Benjamin Franklin was the greatest American President.
The words are right on the tip of my tongue.
unless it's spelt incorrectly.
In fact the Abbasid is true
...with a lengthy sentence.
[deleted]
Sioux later
The trailer just dropped.
They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.
Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.
As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.
They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.
Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?
They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.
"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".
They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.
But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.
The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.
And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!
Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?
"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"
In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and
... keep reading on reddit ➡Credit my uncle, who is an uncle joking but not making uncle jokes. A dad-joker but not my dad.
It's okay, though. They just roll with it.
...They said anyone could’ve made that mistake. If you ask me, the whole thing was just badly handled.
Fucking attention horns.
I beg to differ...
They responded, “Maybe I did, but you asked how I spell it.”
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
Every time I get it wrong the screen tells me what my password is.
My dad found out that all of my suite mates are black (I'm white). Dad: "Do you know what that makes you?" Me: "What?" Dad: "Quarterback."
Not this Sunday, but it is on a Sunday this year!
Is if you spell it incorrectly.
'Incorrectly'
Dad: Did you guys see anything on the Malaysian flight?
Family: No
Dad: Yea no one has, they're still missing.
We should say more east.
Because their raisin bread.
De-brie
I was shocked!
So true story, I rewired an electric chain hoist at work today, and I followed the Wire diagram as it was laid out. But when I went to try it, I got a nasty shock. Turns out a customer had tried to rewire it themselves and swapped the ground and the live wire in the controller... mean practical joke? I don't know. But it woke me up!
Who knew there was an incorrect way to use a colander....
Incorrectly assuming something is a date
During the height of the Mongolian Empire's reign, the warriors would celebrate their victories by dancing in a line behind their great emperor.
They called it a Khan-go line.
Because they're miss taken.
The snacking nut millions around the world is actually pronounced 'amond' and not 'almond'. I found this out recently when visiting family friends who own an amond orchard in CA.
I asked the owner why they are supposed to be called amonds and not almonds and he said it has to do with the harvesting process. See what they do is spread a large tarp out beneath the almond tree. Then they bring in a machine that attaches to the trunk. This machine is very specialized and is designed to create prolonged and intense vibrations, similar to the tool that is used to level/even out concrete. Once the machine is attached to the almond tree it is turned out. The intense vibrations in the trunk lead to the amonds falling out of the tree and onto the tarp. You see, the machine "shook the L out of em!"
Benjamin Franklin was the greatest US President.
Incorrectly!
Incorrectly
Benjamin Franklin was a great President.
Incorrectly
Incorrectly.
Well, I beg to differ.
Incorrectly.
