Faulty Puns

Don't get me started.

Unfortunately they weren't able to help me in the end as I wasn't able to find the box's cereal number.

People should not count on them being correct.

I can't make this shit up

Return of the mac

It was easily disarmed.

The prosecutors are having trouble putting a case together

It was an open and shut case

It blows

He didn't have a leg to stand on.

Turns out it was a case of projectile dysfunction.

But when it happens no one is shocked.

It looked like foul play. The mason wasn’t a suspect. He had a concrete alibi. The night of the accident he said he was with his girlfriend. She confirmed this. There was a wall of evidence. Consequently his alibi was rock solid and not just a facade. There was damning evidence that it was the plumber. They figured his alibi, that he was at the casino, wouldn’t hold water. But cameras showed fluid betting all night. This, obviously, threw a wrench in the investigation. The investigators followed a lead to the electrician. He had a shocking secret. It seems the electrician had been charged with battery only months earlier. But it was a dead end. They looked at the HVAC installer, but his alibi was airtight. Next, they tried to nail the Roofer, as he had been spouting off about the victim the day of the accident. But the roofer had been hammered all day. There was no way they could paint him as the cunning mastermind.

Then they saw the writing on the wall: the painter had both motive and opportunity. He was seen canvassing the accident site a few strokes before midnight when the accident occurred. The victim fell off a faulty ladder that was covered in finger paint. It seems the victim and the painter had a few brush-ins before. And it wasn’t a pretty picture. The painter was indicted, but despite all the evidence, the charges didn’t stick and the jury let him roll off clean.

My dad called me out of my room, asked me what I was doing and I told him I was revising (insert quote marks around that for yourself if you'd like). He asks me to look in the car and there's a whole crate full of packets of salt that are all leaking. That sounds weird, and to be honest it is, but my dad works at a supermarket and gets to take home faulty merchandise so I though nothing of it. He asks me to move it all into the garage, so I do so.

Then he tells me: "Actually, put it in the shed". Now I'm confused since we don't have a shed, and so I asked him what he meant. He tells me, "The one in the old house". We own two houses - our first one, and our new one, so I thought alright that's enough; the house is a half-hour walk and I honestly cannot be bothered for him asking me to walk that half an hour whilst I could be revising so I get a bit mad and just tell him straight.

He gives me a little smile and just says "Don't get salty and start shedding tears, I'll do it then". He gives me a little smile and just walks off. I'm honestly so glad I'm moving away for uni next year.

It's called an heir conditioner.

Must be something to do with the faulty towers

Microsoft confirms that there's an issue with their most recent patch: it can corrupt Windows installations. A Microsoft developer by the name of Benedict [Last name withheld due to reddit rules] admitted that the code he wrote was faulty and could lead to corruption of some system files. However, Microsoft still recommends downloading the patch, since these cases are rare, and a tool that repairs affected installations will be available by tomorrow, and can easily be downloaded, since the faulty patch doesn't break any Internet features. Microsoft estimates that only 0.002% of Windows installations will be affected, and that on all other PCs, the patch does fix the bug it addresses. Although some sources on the net claim otherwise, Microsoft states that...

Benedict's Blunder Patch is low-key.

I guess it had faulty automotives

Their crust is Faulty

I bought a second hand, 50" flat screen TV today for £20. Only problem is the a faulty volume control, but for that price you can't turn it down.

It was faulty

This happened earlier today. The class was on the topic of crash costs and financial responsibilities.

Teacher: If a crash is determined to be your fault, then you are responsible for paying for injuries sustained by others, and damage to property. But there are some places that have an exception, like in the state of Florida, it's considered a "no fault state".

Me: Couldn't you consider California a pretty faulty state?

Whole classroom: -laudable groans-