It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
Weird film trivia: I just found out that Thandie Newton's character from Mission: Impossible 2 was originally going to appear in Goldeneye, but her part was cut when they decided to film in Russia.
Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are locked in battle, and Vader says to Luke, "I know what you're getting for Christmas." Luke says, "No, that's impossible, how could that be?" Vader leans in closer, their lightsabers crackling under the pressure, and he replies...
What does Mission Impossible's star give when he f**ks up?
Impossible Foods is introducing a new line of Edible Plant based Panties.
Did you hear about the mummy that just woke up and is still convinced he’s ruler of Egypt? When told ‘that’s impossible’ he flew into a rage, ran away, and jumped in a river.
People say he’s in da Nile
My friend said that its impossible for a river to move through the desert.
I told him he was in deNile.
I was prescribed medication but couldn't take it. It was impossible to get that damn lid off...
You might have heard of it. It's called Tryopenin.
It would be impossible to host a professional hide n seek tournament
Since good players are hard to find
I’ve just been reading a book about anti-gravity, it’s impossible to put down!
What do you call an almost impossible bubble?
It's impossible to get a reservation in the library.
They are always fully booked.
Did you know that it's impossible for a nose to be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot
9 times out of 10 a carnivore will choose a small space rock over human flesh...
Because the rock is a little meteor.
I read a book about an immortal dog the other day.
it was impossible to put down.
Chemistry professor: It is impossible to be both acidic and basic at the same time.
White girl in the back: Hold my pumpkin spice latte.
I don't get how it's possible to reduce the social distancing requirement from six feet to three feet.
In almost all cases its impossible to have three feet between 2 people.
A dad joke...what else do we put here?
Wife: You ruined my birthday
Me: Impossible, I don't even know when your birthday is
What do you call water that’s impossible to freeze?
It’s impossible to buy an unused mirror
Its impossible to spell anything without a
An Impossible Riddle
Today my father asked me:
F: "Someone's mother.."
Me: "Oh no, please no" (In mind)
F (continues) : "... has four kids: west, south, and north. What is the name of the fourth kid? Tell me"
Me: "..." (Is he making fun of the riddle or himself)
F: "And let me tell you the answer is not EAST, haha"
Me: "..."
F: "It isn't easy eh?"
Me: "Kill me god, please just kill me. This is so painful"
It’s biologically impossible for 2 Asian parents to give birth to a Caucasian child.
Which actually proves the old saying “two Wongs don’t make a white”.
If two people love each other, nothing is impossible.
Except deciding where to eat.
Why is it impossible to download a banana from Torrents?
I've been trying to launch my business importing Soviet neckwear but in this political climate its impossible.
No one wants anything to do with my Russian ties.
A man said he was making prosthetic eyes. A blind man says it’s impossible
The man just says, you’ll see.
I want to file a lawsuit against U2, but I am finding it impossible to hire a lawyer.
Either they charge a lot of money, or they are pro bono.
Who's the one who can make the possible impossible?
My wife said it was "crazy and impossible" when I told her I wanted to make a car out of spaghetti...
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!
A police officer told me that my dog was chasing a man on a bicycle. I told him that’s impossible.
Why is it impossible to starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there. (Read aloud)
Can you guys help me develop a list of puns with the name "impossible burger?"
So at work recently theres this vegan burger called the impossible burger. when we pack them up we have to label the number of burgers and the name of them. Typically I wouldn't mess with that stuff since it might throw off the person restocking but the containers they put it all in makes it all quite apparent which ones are which burger. Anywho I began making puns on the labels starting with "kim-possible burger" and I wanted to see what you all could come up with. (I also did the small pee-pee burger but that wasn't really a pun). Anyways plz comment what you can think of that would be a pretty cool pun for the list and I will compile it all together. Thanks and regards,
Thomas
(OC) Why do magicians not use horses in their acts?
Because they aren’t just difficult, they are neigh impossible!
Where did the General put this Armies?
Had a kid tell me to "grow up." I said that's impossible
The person that came up with “Nothing is impossible” is wrong.
I’ve successfully done nothing all weekend.
If two vegetarians had a fight..
Would it be called a beef?
Did you know it's almost impossible to spot a camel in the dessert?
They have excellent camelflage.
(If you look closely it's behind the ice cream.)
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
I was reading a book about an immortal horse the other day.
It was impossible to put down
"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!"
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
I'm reading a book about anti gravity
It's impossible to put down
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down!
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