I’ve just been reading a book about anti-gravity, it’s impossible to put down!
It's impossible to get a reservation in the library.
They are always fully booked.
Did you know that it's impossible for a nose to be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot
What do you call an almost impossible bubble?
Chemistry professor: It is impossible to be both acidic and basic at the same time.
White girl in the back: Hold my pumpkin spice latte.
What do you call water that’s impossible to freeze?
It’s impossible to buy an unused mirror
An Impossible Riddle
Today my father asked me:
F: "Someone's mother.."
Me: "Oh no, please no" (In mind)
F (continues) : "... has four kids: west, south, and north. What is the name of the fourth kid? Tell me"
Me: "..." (Is he making fun of the riddle or himself)
F: "And let me tell you the answer is not EAST, haha"
Me: "..."
F: "It isn't easy eh?"
Me: "Kill me god, please just kill me. This is so painful"
It’s biologically impossible for 2 Asian parents to give birth to a Caucasian child.
Which actually proves the old saying “two Wongs don’t make a white”.
If two people love each other, nothing is impossible.
Except deciding where to eat.
Its impossible to spell anything without a
Why is it impossible to download a banana from Torrents?
A man said he was making prosthetic eyes. A blind man says it’s impossible
The man just says, you’ll see.
Who's the one who can make the possible impossible?
I've been trying to launch my business importing Soviet neckwear but in this political climate its impossible.
No one wants anything to do with my Russian ties.
Why is it impossible to starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there. (Read aloud)
My wife said it was "crazy and impossible" when I told her I wanted to make a car out of spaghetti...
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!
I want to file a lawsuit against U2, but I am finding it impossible to hire a lawyer.
Either they charge a lot of money, or they are pro bono.
Had a kid tell me to "grow up." I said that's impossible
A police officer told me that my dog was chasing a man on a bicycle. I told him that’s impossible.
Can you guys help me develop a list of puns with the name "impossible burger?"
So at work recently theres this vegan burger called the impossible burger. when we pack them up we have to label the number of burgers and the name of them. Typically I wouldn't mess with that stuff since it might throw off the person restocking but the containers they put it all in makes it all quite apparent which ones are which burger. Anywho I began making puns on the labels starting with "kim-possible burger" and I wanted to see what you all could come up with. (I also did the small pee-pee burger but that wasn't really a pun). Anyways plz comment what you can think of that would be a pretty cool pun for the list and I will compile it all together. Thanks and regards,
Thomas
It’s impossible to trash a boomerang.
No matter how many times you throw it away, it just keeps coming back.
Did you know it's almost impossible to spot a camel in the dessert?
They have excellent camelflage.
(If you look closely it's behind the ice cream.)
It's impossible persuading kids these days to write to Santa. They simply don't believe in the existence...
The person that came up with “Nothing is impossible” is wrong.
I’ve successfully done nothing all weekend.
They say Nothing is impossible.
Well, that's not true. I can do nothing all day!
I'm reading this book about anti-gravity. it's impossible to put it down!
Source:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BjdHDVAAQpo/?taken-by=jojothegamingdad
In what African country is it impossible to sit down for a restaurant meal?
It was impossible to tell my kids I didn't care for the Transformers films
I like big bots and I cannot lie.
I flunked out of college because I spent all my time working on a time machine only to find out it's impossible.
I guess I have no future.
You know there's a vegetable which is almost impossible to get stuck in your throat?
Yeah, it's really artichoke.
It's impossible to explain puns to kleptomaniacs...
because they take everything, literally.
They should make a new reality show like Restaurant Impossible or Bar Rescue, but add a judge like Judge Judy...
and call it "Food Court."
While discussing how impossible it is to discipline a cat
"You know, I won the grand prize in a kitten spanking contest when I was younger."
(surrounded by "wait for it" faces)
"It was a cat-ass-trophy."
It's impossible to complain to my father.
Me: Do you know what sucks?
Dad: Vacuums.
This chestnut of my dad's would make a trip to Spain impossible
Whenever anyone mentions a tapas bar, my dad acts all offended and asks them why they are discussing topless bars
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!"
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity...It’s impossible to put down!
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
I'm reading a book on anti gravity, its impossible to put down!
I’ve been reading a book on anti-gravity and it’s just impossible for me to put down!
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
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