Now my robberies have gotten a lot more successful.
a Re post.
Luckily I was in my living room.
But found myself grasping at straws.
Since then, my muggings have been far more successful.
I think I set the bar too high.
Now his attempts are a lot more successful.
They feared he may have bitten off more than he could chew
But was captured two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. All he could say for himself was “I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh. But I tried anyway because I had nothing Toulouse!”
I hope this isn't a repeat. I haven't seen it recently, even if it is.
https://preview.redd.it/34m6oq2gt8c21.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=cdf7919779cbff0aee8288572088fa03fdfe3641
They had to back out because the stakes were too high
"Nut bolts and screws."
Which is bullshit! I had, like, six crows, max!
Just received this email: http://imgur.com/5fGK8
Father in law: Have you ever seen pine nuts?
Me: Yah why?
FIL: How did you get it to spread it's legs(snickers)
Me: Log splitter (drinks beer)
I'm prepared now though, in case he decides to chai again.
My plan:
Me: Hey, do you have any snoo?
Youngster: Huh? What's snoo?
Me: Nothing much, thanks for asking. What's new with you?? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahha
What really happened
Me: Hey, do you have any snoo?
Youngter: sensing a trap No, I think most of the snoo is up in the north east lately.
Me: Stunned silence
Was at work when a co-worker tried to guess another co-workers height.
Her: "What are you, about 6' 3"?"
Him: "Yeah I'm 6' 3", your guess was right on the nose!"
Me: "Actually the top of the head, guessing 6' would probably be closer to the nose."
Them: "What?" They continued to stare at me with a confused expression until I just said never mind haha.
"Revolting!"
My mom was talking about her eyes and how she has a cataract in one of them, when my dad said "Cataract? I told you to get a Mercedes!"
Head-shakes from my mom and I and blank stares from the rest of the table.
