I'd like to plug my wife's attempt to cross the Atlantic in a bath tub.
But it's too late....she sank.
My invention was amazing! After many many attempts, I finally got a two-wheeled vehicle to stand on its own!
I guess tri, tri again is the way.
In an attempt to bring great pleasure to myself, I'll post controversial topics in white supremacist groups in the attempt to get funny reactions out of them.
After my failed attempt at growing vegetables this year, I've decided to become a music producer.
I've got a ton of sick beets.
Joke attempt from my daughter: what do you call an Aquarium that hurts fish?
A lame attempt ... but here it is :)
Ducks love raw potatoes and will attempt to unearth them with their bill. Enthusiastically mistaking rocks for potatoes can cause damage leaving them...
It took scientists 15 tries to create the perfect sleep aid. Attempts A-N had no effect..
But they concluded a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better
Where I grew up, we had back-to-back violent attempts to overthrow the government.
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
My first attempt at drawing a silly pun
In the spirit of sharing our kids attempts at dad jokes,
My daughter had to wire an essay about her hobby, which is softball. Her opener:
Pitcher this, you’re standing on a mound.
I was overwhelmed, and more proud than ever. She threw in some other puns too, it was an excellent essay, she’s giving me a run for my money, I batter watch out.
Edit: thank you u/PsychicGnome for the reminder that my kids are better parents than I am
After 10 years of attempt to lure wemon
I've become a master baiter
One of my favourite dad jokes from the early 00’s: In an attempt to stop the spread of bird flu
President Bush has bombed the Canary Islands. Turkey is next!
Being cooped up in the house for so long has led me to attempt new hobbies. As an example, I'm currently studying how to adapt French phrases to describe the situation.
You could say it's my maison d'être.
My first attempt at writing a dad joke. Please take it easy on me.
A dad joke.
How did I do?
My first attempt at a dad joke
The devil invented smoking, because it makes you inhale
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
“Cake Day” karma grab attempt: there are 2 kinds of people in the world: those that can extrapolate from incomplete data...
Second attempt posting because, well, mods.
What does a coder do when a recursion program fails to compile after several attempts?
Last week, a freshman secret service officer stopped an assassination attempt on the president of the United States by screaming “Mickey Mouse”!
When his superior congratulated him for the arrest, he asked “Why did you scream Mickey Mouse?” And the secret serviceman said “I was trying to say Donald Duck!”
ATTENTION: This afternoon I will attempt to travel back in time and change history.
You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses world war II and Wednesday comes after Tuesday.
My attempt at juggling 3 cans of beans resulted in a messy kitchen,
in Heinz sight, it was a bad idea.
My first attempt at sculpting was a bust.
Thought I'd plaster it all over the Internet.
A first attempt to make my posts less derivative
Warlord assassination attempt gone terribly wrong.
A navy SEAL sniper was dispatched from a submarine on the coast of Africa with the mission of traveling inland to quietly take out a warlord. His only link to his superiors on the submarine was cellular messaging device. He arrived and had to lay in cover for days. A pride of lions eventually settled around him, making him very nervous. Circumstances then necessitated immediate action so the commander sent the SEAL messages ordering him to clear the area before the strike. Being in the midst of the pride the soldier couldn't move to check his phone. He then perished in the attack.
However, this is not the first person to miss the subtext because they couldn't read between the lions.
The early attempts at flying to Switzerland
always seemed to crash in Bern.
When I told my ex girlfriend that I wanted to break up, she tried gifting me a mini plastic figurine of myself in an attempt to salvage our relationship.
I screamed, "Lego of me!"
My Bad Attempt At A Pun
A weightlifter walks into a bar
Local punster attempts motivating significant other with puns
Fun whiskey fact: when creating Buffalo Trace bourbon, the first couple of attempts were complete failures. They even went so far as to destroy all records of the early products
which is why you never hear about Buffalo Uno or Buffalo Dos
A man walks into a prosthetic store and attempts to rob it.
Lucky for him, everyone inside was unarmed.
My failed suicide attempt was on tv
My nerdy attempt to fit in at festivals
Looks good... [{x-post /r/pokemon} One of my first attempts modeling out of chocolate - Pikachu]
I guess there have been safety concerns regarding NASCAR's track designs; specifically with the turns. In an attempt to address them, the courses were reversed.
My wife and I have recently taken to trying for a baby, and I think this last attempt may have succeeded. I just dad-joked hard.
We were looking at a Facebook post on bees that had lost their home and taken to a bit of chocolate on the road. The pictures showed the bees then all rushing into a basket a beekeeper had brought containing a honeycomb.
When my wife commented on how they all were so quickly attracted to it, I could not stop myself as I blurted out "Well yeah, they were looking for another place to bee"
Don't think she had ever rolled her eyes so hard.
Math textbook attempts a joke
My italian/american dad who doesnt speak very good english, his attempt
You know why deer get hit by cars
Because their horns dont work
It took scientists 15 tries to create the perfect sleep aid. Attempts A-N had no effect..
But a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better.
After my failed attempt at growing vegetables this year, I've decided to become a music producer.
I've got a ton of sick beets.
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