I've been trying to launch my business importing Soviet neckwear but in this political climate its impossible.

No one wants anything to do with my Russian ties.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/symmetrygear
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Australians are importing kitchen worktops from the UK...

....they call them pommigranites.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
If we start importing sugar from Cuba. How many sugar Cubas do I need for my tea?
πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lucidus_somniorum
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2017
🚨︎ report
My wife and I had this weird argument as to which vowel is the most important.

I think I won.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Friendchip is important
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arnavgoel2006
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
If you order a bust be made before you do anything important, let’s be honest.

You’re just getting a head of yourself.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theRiverknows86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
The word "liner" is so important

that it's under "lined" in the dictionary.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChewyNutCluster
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
The most important question before choosing your future wife ...

Which is witch ?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afarro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Forgiveness is the most important part of a well balanced breakfast.
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cadaverkitten94
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
There was a debate suggesting the environment isn’t that important after all.

It was pretty anti-climatic

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Karrathan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a tax on imported cow manure?

A doody duty

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dq72
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
When people think of calculators they think the buttons are the most important thing

But it's what's inside that counts

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hungrysamy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I never knew making socially awkward comments was such an important part of playing golf...

But I always hearing the commentators saying "He needs to make this faux pas"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackoMabreda
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type

As he died, he kept insisting "be positive", but it's hard without him.

πŸ‘︎ 20k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the most important part of a joke timing?

(Timing)

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UofTCadet
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an important message to the staff of a building materials company?

An announcement

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Character spacing is important, for example: ...

...writing: "I have a music album". 🎢

...versus: "I have a musical bum". 🎺

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know: in boxing, it’s extremely important to have perfect form when going against a new fighter...

because the fist impression is everything.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BredSolid
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. Somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer. Always something more important to me...

Finally, she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.

I was gone only a minute and when I came out, I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a slight limp...

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I think it’s so important to keep speeches short and meaningful, I just stand up and say plethora

It means a lot

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AWilfred11
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Import-ant pun
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hesso921
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
In these dark times, it’s important we all continue to make puns.

You know, to make light of the situation the worlds in right now.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KiwahJooz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Gravity is a very important part of our existence. What happens when you remove it?

You get gravy

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lafilafi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
It's important to lose closely at lawn signs during election campaigns....

Last time I cast my vote for a real estate agent.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cumsock17
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I would like a set of containers for my kitchen. I would like to store my baking soda, borax, milk of magnesia, drain cleaner, and ammonia. Most importantly, they need to have very secure lids.

I like to keep all my bases covered.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Legitimate-Hair
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Super important
πŸ‘︎ 243
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Knightlocke3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
These are very important lab-reports
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/i_like_miniwheats
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I use Ironman sounds in my phones event calander for important stuff.

It's a Stark reminder.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zerogummi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Whats the most important thing to be when living in Asgard with a corrupt police force?

Gotta be Low key

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/llMezzll
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Natural numbers fail to understand the importance of decimal numbers.

They always miss the point.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/keychainoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I’d like to highlight the important part of my argument
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elko
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
But that’s not important right now
πŸ‘︎ 990
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/originalripley
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad jokes are important

They are a big part of pop culture

πŸ‘︎ 589
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/its-a-joke--chill
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an imported clown car?

A Fundai

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dwarvenheir
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad told me the three most important unwritten rules in life.

1:

2:

3:

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hitno
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I can understand why the invention of the wheel is looked upon as one of the most important achievements of mankind

It was a very pivotal moment

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fumperdink06
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm leaving r/dadjokes...

Hi, leaving r/dadjokes, I'm dad.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OutcastAtLast
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
If you tend sheep then you are a shepherd. If you tend cow then you are.....

The most important Dad at the annual neighborhood end of Summer barbeque bash!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MassGootz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What's more important, shampoo or conditioner?

Is it the foamer or the lather

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/basicbasterd
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I work at a store that sells imported prosthetic limbs.

I never though I'd grow up to be an international arms dealer.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Fire is important, but...

Fire does not matter

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/poop_assassin123
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I have finally made it

I have two kids, a three year old daughter and a one year old son. Today as we were driving home, my daughter said for the first time β€œdad I’m hungry” and I felt the power course through my veins knowing I was about to reach the pinnacle of existence. I delivered the revered line and my wife just looked at me and I knew I had achieved everything in life.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sageyban
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Important information

Aruba - Cherry Pie $3.45

Bahamas - Apple Pie $2.75

Jamaica - Key Lime Pie $3.34

Saint Croix - Lemon Pie $4.21

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MobileBrowns
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Important

Can you guys put dad jokes in the comments I need material for my friends to make them not like me alot more (I'm basically the dad in our group of friends, mostly the mom)

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Therealblue29
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Its important to keep some candy in your pocket at all times.

It could be a lifesaver.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotter66
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know why it's important to keep someone in a state of suspense?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

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.

.

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I'll take my leave

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/grimgamertv
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife and I had this huge argument as to which vowel is the most important.

I won.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother and I had an argument as to which is the most important vowel.

I won.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report

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