There once was a farm, famed for the high quality of product from the award winning cows, many spoke of it in hushed, respectful tones, but none could say where it was, and many claimed, but none could prove that they had been there.

It was legendairy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yeahmaybe2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
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If you can't appreciate this, please furgive me
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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I got assaulted by a group of mimes.

It was horrific. They did unspeakable things.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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Son: Daddy I can't sleep

Me: Don't worry son, I'll sing you a lullaby.

Me: Hush little baby, don't say a word.

Me: And never mind that noise you heard.

Me: It's just the beasts, under your bed.

Me: In your closet, IN YOUR HEEEEEEAAAAD!

Me: EXIIIITTT LIIIIGGGHHHT!!!! ...... EEENNTTTERRRR NIIIIGGGHHT!!!

taken from dad jokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bmantis311
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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What is Cruella de Vil's favorite brand of footwear?

Hush Puppies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arunphilip
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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What kind of shoes do Ninjas wear?

Sneakers

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrumSpace
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
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I rushed to my local hospital only to find that it had been converted into a library

Talk about having to suffer in silence

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emu404
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
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Took me a min to get
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bmwknight07
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2018
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Three little pigs

Once upon a time there were three little pigs, Pork Chop, Hambone, and Bacon.

The boys lived at home with their mother. One day their mother said, β€œI no longer have enough food to feed you boys, you need to go out on your own and find your fortunes.”

Not wanting to upset their mother they left the house together to seek their fortunes.

Several miles into their journey Bacon, the little pig everyone liked best, said, β€œLet’s build our houses here! This seems like a great place to start making our fortunes.”

Pork Chop and Hambone agreed. So they all began building their houses.

Pork Chop, the laziest of the bunch, decided to build his house out of straw, which he apparently stole from a nearby field. It was not a very sturdy building material, but Pork Chop didn’t care. All he wanted to do was play all day, and he didn’t want to spend too much time building.

Hambone was willing to work a bit harder and he decided to build his house out of sticks which he procured by de-limbing every tree within a 300 meter radius of their homestead.

Hambone and Pork Chop were happy. Now all they had to do was to play and sleep the rest of the day.

Now Bacon was a hard worker. He knew that his brothers had used bad materials and shoddy construction methods and he wanted to build the best house he could. He found several tons of bricks stacked in neatly ordered pallets in the forest which he decided to use for his building material. It took him several days, but when he was done Bacon had the best house on the homestead.

The next day a wolf, Scott Howard, happened upon the pig brothers and their new homestead. He spied the straw house and smelled Pork Chop inside and began to think to himself that Pork Chop would make a mighty fine meal, so Scott went and knocked on the door.

Scott said, β€œLittle Pig! Little Pig! Let me in!”

Pork Chop replied, β€œNo way JosΓ©! Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin!”

Scott, undeterred by the reply says, β€œThen I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your crappy straw house to the ground!”

Scott began to huff and puff. He was evidently having some sort of asthma attack, but after a few tugs from his handy dandy rescue inhaler, he was able to muster enough wind to blow Pork Chops straw house to the ground.

Pork Chop narrowly escaped Scott’s massive jaws. Scared, and now homeless, Pork Chop ran for the nearest shelter he could see. Hambone’s house.

Scott, undeterred, chased Pork Chop to his new hiding place. Scott was very pleas

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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I was frying some food to go with my fish and my dark started barking

So I screamed β€œHUSH PUPPY”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madijoy14
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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What did the chef say to the barking dogs

Hush puppies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ormsby12
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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My southern friend has loud dogs, I found it funny when he said..

Hush-puppies

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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Is there a prize for the most laborious set-up?

Down on his farm, Old MacDonald was hosting his annual talent contest amongst his animals and announced that, this year, the theme was Shakespeare.

All of his livestock had been busily and excitedly rehearsing because they knew that 1st prize was to be a gigantic gazebo festooned with flashing electric lights, a glitter ball, a speaker system and turntables.

Competition was fierce; the chickens performed Othello, the horse chose Hamlet, the sheep Romeo and Juliet and the cow performed Richard III.

After much deliberation, the farmer and his wife ordered a hushed silence and announced: "Cow is the winner of our disco tent."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JeffGoldbuns
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2014
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What kind of dog doesn't bark?

A hush puppy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drkmoosegaming
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2015
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