Shut Up Puns

A list of puns related to "Shut Up"

What do you call a duck that won’t shut up?

A quack addict.

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👤︎ u/tibbymat
📅︎ Oct 18 2020
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The problem with parasites is that they never shut up.

I can’t stand all the Tick Talk.

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👤︎ u/vehiclesales
📅︎ Nov 28 2020
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What did the dad say to his son who wouldn't shut up about buying him a cup so he could play sports?

Oh, put a sock in it!

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👤︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
📅︎ Oct 01 2020
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Should I stock up on eggs before the next shut down?

I am having an eggs essential crisis.

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👤︎ u/Konebred
📅︎ Jul 21 2020
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How do you get a deaf person to shut up

Tie their hands behind their back

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👤︎ u/shdchko
📅︎ Jun 23 2020
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Two friends named Trouble and Shut Up went hiking. Trouble went off the path and got lost so Shut Up went to the police to report him missing......

.....when asked his name by the cop filling out the report he replied Shut Up. The frustrated cop asked repeatedly for his name and was met each time with an equally frustrated and louder reply of SHUT UP! The cop got angry and then asked....hey man, are you looking for trouble? The reply back was "Yes! That's the reason I came here....I'm looking for Trouble!!!"

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👤︎ u/2donutkid2
📅︎ Oct 29 2018
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You don’t tell someone to shut up at church.

You tell them to Je-Shush.

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👤︎ u/RichNCrispy
📅︎ Jun 22 2018
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Just shut up already!
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👤︎ u/DavidGreenComic
📅︎ Mar 17 2018
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My dad became a billionaire by selling devices to shut ducks up...

Bill gates.

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👤︎ u/WideEyedWand3rer
📅︎ Aug 27 2018
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Did you hear about the diesel engine who wouldn't shut up?

He was all torque.

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👤︎ u/djbamc
📅︎ Jul 23 2018
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My sister told me to shut the duck up...

I told her to stop using fowl language.

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👤︎ u/thecaingerzone
📅︎ Jun 08 2016
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The other day someone just would not shut up about how I need to accept the giant robot masters into my heart.

Damn right-wing Evangelionists.

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👤︎ u/Gunter_Penguin
📅︎ May 06 2018
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What do you say about a Hobbit that won't shut up?

He's Tolkien your ear off.

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👤︎ u/alfrohawk
📅︎ Sep 07 2016
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Next time I take my daughter to get yearly check up, I'm keeping my mouth shut

As I approached the counter at my 8 year old's clinic, the nurse asks "are you here for an appointment?" I replied without hesitation & confusion "umm, no my daughter is". The blank stare was enough.

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👤︎ u/BXRomeo8586
📅︎ Jun 05 2015
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I was annoying my younger brother so he told me shut up...

Me: "but the door only moves side-to-side!"

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👤︎ u/xodiach
📅︎ Oct 17 2014
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