I looked out the window of the plane I was on once we hit peak altitude and was just completely astonished by what I saw. It was incredible. Hundreds - no, thousands - of vital organs were communicating with the deaf community.

I guess it's true what they say: every cloud has a liver signing.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eagleboy444
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Hundreds of thousands of pigeons and doves have gathered in Washington D.C.

Authorities are concerned they are staging a coo.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2021
🚨︎ report
An ice cream man was found unconscious in his van today, covered in chocolate sprinkles, hundreds and thousands, raspberry sauce, caramel & nuts.

Police believe he tried to top himself.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day

Teach a man to fish, he'll waste hundreds of dollars on equipment he'll only use a few times a year

πŸ‘︎ 230
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jakepauler6969
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2022
🚨︎ report
World of Warcraft introduced a scavenger hunt to find a secret item that involved hundreds if not thousands of people in a Discord spending days and days scouring the entire world for little clues.

The secret reward is called Waist of Time.

Well played, Blizzard, well played.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthEwok42
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2018
🚨︎ report
The inventor of fairy bread passed away yesterday. Hundreds and thousands attended his funeral.
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
🚨︎ report
The bidding was proceeding furiously when the Head Auctioneer suddenly announced, β€œA gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing ten thousand dollars.”

β€œIf returned, he has agreed to pay a reward of two thousand dollars!”There was a moment's silence in the auction house and from the back of the room came a shout, β€œTwo thousand five hundred!”

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GranularPlatitude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2023
🚨︎ report
Maybe you can help us to find a good Name for a FakeCrime Podcast?

Hello!

Maybe it doesn't really fit in here, but a friend and I want to do a podcast together and are still looking for a good name.

The podcast is just about made up crime stories (as a counter to the thousands of truecrime podcasts out there). It's not one hundred percent serious, but it's not meant to be overly funny either.

We're both big fans of dadjokes and word jokes, but can't come up with a good name.

We also don't want to gain a lot of notoriety with it, but just pass our time.

Maybe someone has a good idea?

Thanks for your support and stay healthy!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ReporterSchorle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2022
🚨︎ report
A young man wants to become a lumberjack, so he goes to the forest and starts chopping.

After a few days of doing this, he realizes he is simply not fit for this type of job. On his final day of trying to chop down trees, he notices an old scrawny man chopping down trees as if he was a woodpecker, the amount of hits he made grew more and more each swing. The first swing was one hit, the next, ten hits, the next one, a hundred hits, and the next one after that, a thousand. He kept swinging until the tree he was swinging at was chopped down. Amazed, the young man walks over to the old man and asks, "Sir, what is your secret, how do you chop them down so quickly?"

The old man turns and says, "It's all about the rhythm." Puzzled by the old man's answer, the young man returned home pondering what he said.

The next morning, he was motivated to keep trying to be a lumberjack. "If an old scrawny man can do it, so can I!" he thought.

So he went back to the forest, and tried to use his advice. Trying to time each swing, he realizes this simply doesn't work. Later in the day, he sees the old man again, comes up to him, and asks, "I tried to time my swings, but it does no more than just chopping normally. How do you do it?"

"You can't just make up any old rhythm and follow it, you have to find a very specific one," he says, "you have to find the Logger-rhythm."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MaximusMatrix
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Tomorrow there will be a protest about fairy bread

The police are expecting hundreds and thousands

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Gus3114
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I was very worried when they discovered Covid in ice cream and topping samples in China.

I instantly thought this could affect Hundreds & Thousands...

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trendfoll
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Dessert Puns

I saw a white, fluffy thing swinging through my local cake shop. Suspect it was a meringue-utang.


I was out driving the other day and I spotted two packets of cheese & onion crisps walking down the road. I said, β€œDo you want a lift”. β€œNo thanks”, they replied, β€œWe’re Walkers”.


I was in a cake shop the other day, they were all Β£5 apart from one that was Β£10. I asked why it was so expensive, the shop owner said β€œthat’s maderia cake”.


Bought some cream, it said β€œstore in a cool place”. So I left it in the Doctor Who studios.


Local ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.


I used to love doughnuts, but I got bored of the whole thing.


A man says β€œI keep finding custard in one ear, and jelly in the other”. The doctor says β€œI’m afraid you are a trifle deaf”.


I bought a waffle iron the other day. Get really annoyed with wrinkled waffles.


How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden


What do they call a man who abandoned his diet? DESSERTER.


Ice cream is exquisite… –what a pity it isn’t illegal.


The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole, and the realist sees the calories.


Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam’s banana.


Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.


Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!


When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it’s been sliced.


What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?


Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!


What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.


What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!


A birthday greeting: For someone special as you, only ANGELFOOD would do. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


Did you hear there are two suspects in Two Ton Charley’s death? BEN and JERRY.


Don’t eat too much fudge, or else you will have so much pudge you won’t be able to budge.


You know you’re a mom if… Popsicles have become a staple food.


Mexican candy makes my taste buds say β€œOLE!”


FORGET LOVE… I’

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2017
🚨︎ report
The man who invented Fairy Bread died last week.

Hundreds and Thousands attended the funeral.

His ashes were Sprinkled.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spartan17492
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2017
🚨︎ report
I am in my 20s but my dad still tells Dad Jokes

I just told my dad I don't know what to do with the cantaloupe because it's too much melon for one person, and he responds "those melons have been responsible for hundreds of thousands of dollars being spent on a party for people that cantaloupe."

Like can't elope. My father everyone.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2014
🚨︎ report
A young man wants to become a lumberjack, so he goes to the forest and starts chopping.

After a few days of doing this, he realizes he is simply not fit for this type of job. On his final day of trying to chop down trees, he notices an old scrawny man chopping down trees as if he was a woodpecker, the amount of hits he made grew more and more each swing. The first swing was one hit, the next, ten hits, the next one, a hundred hits, and the next one after that, a thousand. He kept swinging until the tree he was swinging at was chopped down. Amazed, the young man walks over to the old man and asks, "Sir, what is your secret, how do you chop them down so quickly?"

The old man turns and says, "It's all about the rhythm." Puzzled by the old man's answer, the young man returned home pondering what he said.

The next morning, he was motivated to keep trying to be a lumberjack. "If an old scrawny man can do it, so can I!" he thought.

So he went back to the forest, and tried to use his advice. Trying to time each swing, he realizes this simply doesn't work. Later in the day, he sees the old man again, comes up to him, and asks, "I tried to time my swings, but it does no more than just chopping normally. How do you do it?"

"You can't just make up any old rhythm and follow it, you have to find a very specific one," he says, "you have to find the Logger-rhythm."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MaximusMatrix
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to buy a sweet shop...

but it would have cost me hundreds and thousands!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NotCurren
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2016
🚨︎ report

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